How many times have we heard that we have to change this or that about our thinking.  It is easier said than done.

Let’s get real here!

I heard the comment recently, “We are a society of thinking we have to think positively all the time.”  This really struck me as crazy.  We are human beings and life happens.  We have reactions and sometimes they are not positive.

I have come up with a new way of thinking to let my feelings flow and if I need to cry it is permissible.  It is amazing giving myself permission the feelings change and I feel better.

Recently, I had a hard time being creative.  My days were spent responding to emails.  I was taking to a friend and during the conversation it dawned on her that I was feeling very sad and had no energy to be creative.

Once I realized why the creative juices were not flowing a miracle happened and I started to experience my energy returning.

Moral of story if you feel your feelings we move forward quicker.

Please share your experiences with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community so we do not feel alone on our journeys.

Helen

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~ George Bernard Shaw

Do you sometimes wonder if your business will ever reach the level of success you have dreamed about? Welcome to the world of the small business owner!!

Many of us struggle day after day to finally see our businesses become self-sufficient. Everyone has to start some place.

I was reading the May 2009 issue of Inc. Magazine and there was an article about how the successful businesses got started. Below is a list of some companies and their humble beginnings. There is hope for us.

• Reed Hastings contemplates lying to his wife about a misplaced video. Had an idea and started Netflick.
• Pierre Omidyar launches eBay from his apartment.
• Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield started their business Ben and Jerry’s in a converted gas station.
• Robert Stephens started Geek Squad with a bicycle and insane knowledge of computers. His uniform of white shirt and black clip-on tie made the picture perfect.
• Ted Waitt and Mike Hammond ran Gateway in Waitt’s dad’s farmhouse. In lieu of paying rent they loaded cattle trucks.

There is no difference between the business people listed above and ourselves.  We all have the passion and drive to make our businesses succeed.  

As George Bernard Shaw said, “Look for the circumstances you want, and if you can’t find them, make them.”    

Need support in getting your business launched or feel stuck or have ideas you would like to share.  Leave a comment and as a community we will work together to brainstorm easy ideas for getting you started or take your business to the next level.  

Helen

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~ Alfred A Montapert

As a holiday present to my daughter and son-in-law I am watching Jeffrey, my grandson, and Charlie a 100 pound Lab for a week.

Yesterday morning started out very calmly and got ready to leave for school. One of the things we do before leaving for school is walk Charlie. Let me correct myself, Charlie walks us.

The walk was a bit of a struggle and we arrived home a little tired. Jeffrey removed Charlie’s leash and before we knew it the dog ran away. Both of us started running after Charlie and had no luck capturing him.

At one point we were very close to him and before we could grab him he took off again. At that point I lost sight of Jeffrey and Charlie.

Franticly I started running around the blocks yelling for Jeffrey and Charlie. While yelling I was asking God to help me.

I turned a corner and there was Jeffrey walking with a woman who had Charlie on a tight leash. My heart stopped for a moment and relief flooded my body.

When I regained my composure, I could not thank her enough for bringing Jeffrey and Charlie home. We brought Charlie into the house and put him into his cage where he slept for most of the day.

Jeffrey and I were a total mess. We sat and thanked God for sending us an Angel.

The important lessons we learned were to always close the garage door before taking Charlie’s leash off and how to walk Charlie so we are in control not him.

During this experience I looked fear in the face and kept moving forward. If for a second I let the fear take over I would not have been able to keep my hope alive.

Praying is a form of meditation that clams you down and restores your faith that things will work out.

What experiences have you had in which prayers restored your faith that things will work out for the best.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ gandhi

I was thinking before writing on my blog today, “Holidays can be a very painful time.” Having expectations the holidays will be fun, relaxing and receive the love and support we crave from others.

Hello, guess again. What reality usually dictates is that we are busy shopping, running around to beat the clock and annoyed with people in general.

What happened to our holiday expectations? Down the drain!

We don’t realize that not having our expectations become reality we subconsciously become angry and instead of enjoying the holidays they become a burden.

As Gandhi says,” Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Take a step back and rearrange your thinking and schedule.

Let me tell you a little story.

I was out shopping for gifts the other night and everything I picked up was just not right for the person I was thinking about. After walking around the mall for over an hour I decided to stop for a cup of coffee and go home.

Listening to the people on line behind me complaining about the holidays made me realize I was doing the same thing.

I started to think of what could I do differently?

I found a bench and just rested for awhile drinking my coffee. The idea popped into my head to ask my grandchildren for a wish list. Then I could have some direction and buy what they really wanted.

I went home, called each grandchild and asked them to give me a wish list of only 3 things. The older ones wanted to spend a day in NYC with me or just go out for dinner. The others gave me their choices. It made my life so much easier and I had a happy memory speaking with each and everyone of them about the holiday season.

What can you do to make this season a little easier, create memories and enjoy yourself?

Please share your ideas with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. I look forward to reading your comments.

Helen

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…not always the easiest course of action
when confronting difficulties.
If, however, we can remain focused
on keeping hope strong and
not succumbing to negative influences,
we will meet with success
in dealing with anything
life may throw in our path.”

 ~ Hiram Rogers Lloyd

Truer words have not been spoken, staying positive is not the easiest thing to do. The feelings of fear and sadness overwhelm us in a flash.

What are we to do?

My old stand-by is to let them come and know the feelings are temporary moments. You will make it through and the feelings will fade.

The other day I was writing an article and all of a sudden the pain of loss returned in such intensity that I could not breathe. My initial reaction was to do something that would make me feel better.

I ran out to my car and went to the local Duncan Donuts for coffee. To my surprise the pain remained. Coming home the tears started flowing and I was once again consumed by my sadness and fears.

I then tried affirmations and wrapped myself in a blanket. Nothing worked. Just sitting there with my coffee and not moving the pain started to lessen. Within time I was starting to feel better.

What I learned from this experience was not to fight my emotions, be with them and within time my mood brightened. I was then able to function again and complete the article.

Nothing in this world will take our feelings of fear and sadness away. Our only line of defense is to experience the moment and have hope things will get better.

Please share with the Unemployed Community what fears and sadness you are experiencing. Letting others know your true feelings will take the pain away and together we will create a positive journey for us all.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Tomorrow in the United States we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a day for family, friends, lots and lots of food and a time to be grateful.

I am sure you are thinking, “Get real Helen, what do I have to be grateful for I am unemployed and will probably never find a job again.”

I am not going to debate you, it is a very hard time in your life right now. The one thing you do have is hope. It is up to you to believe things will be different.

As Sarah Ban Breathnach quotes, “The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.”

So pick yourself up and let’s turn your thinking around. It is just as easy to focus on what really happened instead of blaming yourself.

You might ask how can I change my thinking in an instant? Take the following small steps:

• Negative thought pops up, “I cannot face my family tomorrow.” Say out loud what really happened. Example: It was not my fault the company closed.”
• Take a few sheets of paper and keep writing what really happened until you start believing it.

We sometimes become drama queens and kings and find ourselves falling down a deep hole. It is our responsibility to change things around as quickly as possible.

One thing that scares others is to see us stay in that dark hole. When we are positive it gives us strength and others hope that things will change.

Go out there and be either Superman or Superwoman and make your life and others brighter.

If you are going to a Thanksgiving Dinner with family and friends remember you are the same person you have always been.

One trick I have learned from a client is when someone asks you about your job situation, always smile and say, “Thanks for asking I have a lot of possibilities,” and then ask them a question about themselves.

People love to talk about themselves.

Enjoy your life and expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.

Wishing everyone a Thanksgiving Day that is sprinkled with happiness, love and abundance!

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community what you are grateful for and your experiences during Thanksgiving. I look forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ Rudyard Kipling

Your own FEARS play such a big part in your life especially while traveling on the familiar unemployed path.

I once heard fear is “False evidence appearing real.” We are experts at telling ourselves we will never find another job, my family hates me because I am unemployed, I am a failure, etc… In reality none of these fears are true.

Let’s stop here and take a deep breath. Close your eyes and say out loud, “I am safe and opportunities are popping up all the time.”

Reassuring ourselves we are safe and something will happen are our magic keys for feeling okay and giving ourselves the motivation to continue riding the waves of this journey.

What could you do differently today so the creative juices keep flowing and new opportunities are surfacing?

Take a moment before jumping into any new action and think about your past experiences. What worked and what didn’t?

Little exercise you can do:

• List 5 actions you took that worked.
• List 5 actions you took that did not work.
• Review both lists.
• Pick the most successful action step.
• Chose the the most disastrous one.
• Create an action step that takes into consideration both the successful and disastrous ones.

Doing this exercise you will realize what steps worked and which didn’t. Then you can move forward and create an action steps taking both aspects into consideration.

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community your most successful and disastrous action steps. We can learn from each other.

Remember to play our little game. Wednesday is a day for Miracle Awareness. During the day look for miracles, write them down and say them out loud.

It is very lonely being out here alone and would like to hear what is going on in your life. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ R. Buckmender

YEAH!!! We are in control and do not have to depend solely on anyone else while journeying along this unemployed path.

My interpretation of R. Buckmender’s quote is that we have the ability to make our own choices instead of waiting for someone else to tell us what to do.

This does not mean we should not seek support, learn from other’s experiences or be open to possibilities. What it does mean we should do our own thinking, research, and take action steps.

In the long run the task of finding another job is in our own hands.

Let me tell you a little story.

Jane’s last job was an office manager for a large non-profit organization. She worked there for over 15 years and always felt this was her last job before retiring.

Surprise, surprise things did not go as planned. The non-profit was losing funding for awhile and one day a decision was made to reorganize. Unfortunately, Jane’s division was effected and she was one of the 20 people laid-off.

At first she was in denial and could not believe what was happening. Then reality set in, she was off and running to find a new job.

Jane contacted many people, they told her they would look around and see what was happening. She truly believed that someone would find another job for her. Jane waited patiently for someone to call her back with a job interview. As time past nothing happened.

Instead of doing her research, taking action steps Jane was hoping others would do the work for her. Unfortunately, in most cases finding a job does not work out this way. You have to be proactive even though you have the belief someone will help you find a job.

One of the key ingredients for finding a job is have faith you will be employed again and at the same time keep working diligently even though you have a possibility. As we have all learned things fall through and why put your eggs in one basket.

Remember…we all will be working again it is only a matter of time.

Are you playing our game?

Monday is Smile Day

• Walk out your front door and go to the nearest coffee shop.
• Walking into the coffee shop put a smile on your face. You don’t have to mean it just use those smile muscles. It is a scientific fact when you use your smile muscles your body has no clue whether you are smiling.
• Make eye contact with the first person you see with that smile on your face.
• Continue playing this game.

Eventually your smile will become natural, people will start talking to each other and YOU will feel better.

A smile costs you nothing and lightens up the world.

Looking forward to hearing about your experiences regarding belief vs. faith while on your unemployed journey.

Enjoy your day and smile often. Love to hear what attitude shifts are happening while playing our little game.

Helen

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~ JoAnn Reed

Isn’t it ironic we spend most of our lives trying to please other people and never thinking about what would make us happy?

Then when we lose our job we blame ourselves and never take into consideration it could be a blessing in disguise. How many of us hated our job and always thought, “Only if I could find another job that I really loved?”

Now that we are traveling the unemployed journey we keep thinking our last job was the perfect job. We have a tendency to always turn our thinking around and put things we lost on a pedestal.

Let’s get real here for a moment and think about what you hated about your last job.

Here is your opportunity to start pleasing yourself, maybe for the first time in your life, and find a job that will make you happy.

This is not an easy task!

Some little steps you can take to start the process:

• Think back through the years about what made you happy. Examples: being with people, drawing, crafts, writing, science, etc.
• List these ideas on a piece of paper. Be honest this is for your eyes only.
• Rate them from 1 to 3. One being the least interesting and three brings a smile to your face.
• List all the number one ideas.
• Chose which one really makes you excited.

Once you have decided which one makes you energized it is time to explore your options.

For today think about your new found realization. Tomorrow is another day and we can explore your options.

Enjoy the happiness you are experiencing!

Share your uncovered passion with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community. Remember…we are all in this together. Let’s make this unemployment journey a time of learning and turning our lives around.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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Sunday is a day to be gentle with yourself. The other 6 days of the week are for worrying, constantly taking risks and pushing yourself harder each day.

Sunday most businesses are closed. You can also close your business for a day.

Today is time for a vacation. What makes you happy? Watch a sports game, take the family away for the day, ride your bike, etc.

No excuses, you deserve a day of rest!

When we give ourselves permission to take a vacation from the stresses in our lives we instantly feel better and start to enjoy ourselves.

Let’s make Sunday, Vacation Day.

Vacation Tips for Sunday:

• Eat a picnic lunch near the water or in the woods. I know it might be cold this time of year so bundle up.
• Bike ride or hike along a quiet path in a wooded area. 
• Window shop and plan how to re-decorate your favorite room.
• Invite friends to your house and have a pot-luck dinner.
• Put your feet up and take a nap on the couch.
• Watch an old movie on television.
• Sleep late or go to bed early.
• Read a good book.
• Go to a park and watch a football game.
• Take your art supplies out of hiding and start working on your master piece.

Let’s add Sunday to our little game.

• Monday is Smile Day.
• Tuesday is Dancing Day.
• Wednesday is Miracle Awareness Day.
• Thursday is Feeling Like a Winner Day.
• Friday is Acknowledging your Strengths Day. 
• Saturday is Friendship Day. 
• Sunday is Vacation Day.

Continue playing the game and let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know about your different experiences.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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