…not always the easiest course of action
when confronting difficulties.
If, however, we can remain focused
on keeping hope strong and
not succumbing to negative influences,
we will meet with success
in dealing with anything
life may throw in our path.”

 ~ Hiram Rogers Lloyd

Truer words have not been spoken, staying positive is not the easiest thing to do. The feelings of fear and sadness overwhelm us in a flash.

What are we to do?

My old stand-by is to let them come and know the feelings are temporary moments. You will make it through and the feelings will fade.

The other day I was writing an article and all of a sudden the pain of loss returned in such intensity that I could not breathe. My initial reaction was to do something that would make me feel better.

I ran out to my car and went to the local Duncan Donuts for coffee. To my surprise the pain remained. Coming home the tears started flowing and I was once again consumed by my sadness and fears.

I then tried affirmations and wrapped myself in a blanket. Nothing worked. Just sitting there with my coffee and not moving the pain started to lessen. Within time I was starting to feel better.

What I learned from this experience was not to fight my emotions, be with them and within time my mood brightened. I was then able to function again and complete the article.

Nothing in this world will take our feelings of fear and sadness away. Our only line of defense is to experience the moment and have hope things will get better.

Please share with the Unemployed Community what fears and sadness you are experiencing. Letting others know your true feelings will take the pain away and together we will create a positive journey for us all.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Tomorrow in the United States we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a day for family, friends, lots and lots of food and a time to be grateful.

I am sure you are thinking, “Get real Helen, what do I have to be grateful for I am unemployed and will probably never find a job again.”

I am not going to debate you, it is a very hard time in your life right now. The one thing you do have is hope. It is up to you to believe things will be different.

As Sarah Ban Breathnach quotes, “The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.”

So pick yourself up and let’s turn your thinking around. It is just as easy to focus on what really happened instead of blaming yourself.

You might ask how can I change my thinking in an instant? Take the following small steps:

• Negative thought pops up, “I cannot face my family tomorrow.” Say out loud what really happened. Example: It was not my fault the company closed.”
• Take a few sheets of paper and keep writing what really happened until you start believing it.

We sometimes become drama queens and kings and find ourselves falling down a deep hole. It is our responsibility to change things around as quickly as possible.

One thing that scares others is to see us stay in that dark hole. When we are positive it gives us strength and others hope that things will change.

Go out there and be either Superman or Superwoman and make your life and others brighter.

If you are going to a Thanksgiving Dinner with family and friends remember you are the same person you have always been.

One trick I have learned from a client is when someone asks you about your job situation, always smile and say, “Thanks for asking I have a lot of possibilities,” and then ask them a question about themselves.

People love to talk about themselves.

Enjoy your life and expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.

Wishing everyone a Thanksgiving Day that is sprinkled with happiness, love and abundance!

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community what you are grateful for and your experiences during Thanksgiving. I look forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ Rudyard Kipling

Your own FEARS play such a big part in your life especially while traveling on the familiar unemployed path.

I once heard fear is “False evidence appearing real.” We are experts at telling ourselves we will never find another job, my family hates me because I am unemployed, I am a failure, etc… In reality none of these fears are true.

Let’s stop here and take a deep breath. Close your eyes and say out loud, “I am safe and opportunities are popping up all the time.”

Reassuring ourselves we are safe and something will happen are our magic keys for feeling okay and giving ourselves the motivation to continue riding the waves of this journey.

What could you do differently today so the creative juices keep flowing and new opportunities are surfacing?

Take a moment before jumping into any new action and think about your past experiences. What worked and what didn’t?

Little exercise you can do:

• List 5 actions you took that worked.
• List 5 actions you took that did not work.
• Review both lists.
• Pick the most successful action step.
• Chose the the most disastrous one.
• Create an action step that takes into consideration both the successful and disastrous ones.

Doing this exercise you will realize what steps worked and which didn’t. Then you can move forward and create an action steps taking both aspects into consideration.

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community your most successful and disastrous action steps. We can learn from each other.

Remember to play our little game. Wednesday is a day for Miracle Awareness. During the day look for miracles, write them down and say them out loud.

It is very lonely being out here alone and would like to hear what is going on in your life. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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~ R. Buckmender

YEAH!!! We are in control and do not have to depend solely on anyone else while journeying along this unemployed path.

My interpretation of R. Buckmender’s quote is that we have the ability to make our own choices instead of waiting for someone else to tell us what to do.

This does not mean we should not seek support, learn from other’s experiences or be open to possibilities. What it does mean we should do our own thinking, research, and take action steps.

In the long run the task of finding another job is in our own hands.

Let me tell you a little story.

Jane’s last job was an office manager for a large non-profit organization. She worked there for over 15 years and always felt this was her last job before retiring.

Surprise, surprise things did not go as planned. The non-profit was losing funding for awhile and one day a decision was made to reorganize. Unfortunately, Jane’s division was effected and she was one of the 20 people laid-off.

At first she was in denial and could not believe what was happening. Then reality set in, she was off and running to find a new job.

Jane contacted many people, they told her they would look around and see what was happening. She truly believed that someone would find another job for her. Jane waited patiently for someone to call her back with a job interview. As time past nothing happened.

Instead of doing her research, taking action steps Jane was hoping others would do the work for her. Unfortunately, in most cases finding a job does not work out this way. You have to be proactive even though you have the belief someone will help you find a job.

One of the key ingredients for finding a job is have faith you will be employed again and at the same time keep working diligently even though you have a possibility. As we have all learned things fall through and why put your eggs in one basket.

Remember…we all will be working again it is only a matter of time.

Are you playing our game?

Monday is Smile Day

• Walk out your front door and go to the nearest coffee shop.
• Walking into the coffee shop put a smile on your face. You don’t have to mean it just use those smile muscles. It is a scientific fact when you use your smile muscles your body has no clue whether you are smiling.
• Make eye contact with the first person you see with that smile on your face.
• Continue playing this game.

Eventually your smile will become natural, people will start talking to each other and YOU will feel better.

A smile costs you nothing and lightens up the world.

Looking forward to hearing about your experiences regarding belief vs. faith while on your unemployed journey.

Enjoy your day and smile often. Love to hear what attitude shifts are happening while playing our little game.

Helen

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~ JoAnn Reed

Isn’t it ironic we spend most of our lives trying to please other people and never thinking about what would make us happy?

Then when we lose our job we blame ourselves and never take into consideration it could be a blessing in disguise. How many of us hated our job and always thought, “Only if I could find another job that I really loved?”

Now that we are traveling the unemployed journey we keep thinking our last job was the perfect job. We have a tendency to always turn our thinking around and put things we lost on a pedestal.

Let’s get real here for a moment and think about what you hated about your last job.

Here is your opportunity to start pleasing yourself, maybe for the first time in your life, and find a job that will make you happy.

This is not an easy task!

Some little steps you can take to start the process:

• Think back through the years about what made you happy. Examples: being with people, drawing, crafts, writing, science, etc.
• List these ideas on a piece of paper. Be honest this is for your eyes only.
• Rate them from 1 to 3. One being the least interesting and three brings a smile to your face.
• List all the number one ideas.
• Chose which one really makes you excited.

Once you have decided which one makes you energized it is time to explore your options.

For today think about your new found realization. Tomorrow is another day and we can explore your options.

Enjoy the happiness you are experiencing!

Share your uncovered passion with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community. Remember…we are all in this together. Let’s make this unemployment journey a time of learning and turning our lives around.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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Sunday is a day to be gentle with yourself. The other 6 days of the week are for worrying, constantly taking risks and pushing yourself harder each day.

Sunday most businesses are closed. You can also close your business for a day.

Today is time for a vacation. What makes you happy? Watch a sports game, take the family away for the day, ride your bike, etc.

No excuses, you deserve a day of rest!

When we give ourselves permission to take a vacation from the stresses in our lives we instantly feel better and start to enjoy ourselves.

Let’s make Sunday, Vacation Day.

Vacation Tips for Sunday:

• Eat a picnic lunch near the water or in the woods. I know it might be cold this time of year so bundle up.
• Bike ride or hike along a quiet path in a wooded area. 
• Window shop and plan how to re-decorate your favorite room.
• Invite friends to your house and have a pot-luck dinner.
• Put your feet up and take a nap on the couch.
• Watch an old movie on television.
• Sleep late or go to bed early.
• Read a good book.
• Go to a park and watch a football game.
• Take your art supplies out of hiding and start working on your master piece.

Let’s add Sunday to our little game.

• Monday is Smile Day.
• Tuesday is Dancing Day.
• Wednesday is Miracle Awareness Day.
• Thursday is Feeling Like a Winner Day.
• Friday is Acknowledging your Strengths Day. 
• Saturday is Friendship Day. 
• Sunday is Vacation Day.

Continue playing the game and let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know about your different experiences.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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Does this situation sound familiar, when you lost your job everyone was your friend for awhile and as time went on they slowly disappeared? Your true friends stayed along for the ride.

I had one friend who always said, “If you could count your friends on one hand you were very lucky.” We have remained friends for years.

Think back about your different friendships and what beautiful gifts you received.

We travel through many different phases in our lives. As a child you had many school and neighborhood friends and as your life changed new relationships were formed. Take a moment and think about the friends who supported you and you encouraged through the years. These are your true friends.

Reach out to an old friend you have not had contact with during the past three months.

It will give you the opportunity to relive old times and support each other.

One of my close friends I met when we were both pregnant with our daughters. Whenever we reach out to each other it seems like I spoke to her the day before. We reminisce about the days when we were young mothers and the different happenings in our lives.

It is a great feeling to know that someone really knows you and it will be okay to share whatever is happening in your life and they will understand.

Let’s made Saturday, Friendship Day.

Rules for our little game:

• Monday is Smile Day. Go to a local coffee shop, smile and have eye contact with the different people you meet. 
• Tuesday is Dancing Day. Blast your music, dance around the house and have fun.
• Wednesday is Miracle Awareness Day. Look for miracles, write them down as they are happening and say them out loud. 
• Thursday is Feeling Like a Winner Day. Constantly remind yourself during the day, you are a winner and repeat the affirmation, “I am a winner and the same person I have always been.”
• Friday is Acknowledging your Strengths Day. Put a smile on your face, call yourself on the phone and list your strengths. Also, leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog telling us all about your different strengths. 
• Saturday is Friendship Day. Reach out to an old friend you have not had contact with during the past three months.

Continue playing the game and let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know about your different experiences.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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Alexander Graham Bell’s quote has been around a long time and very familiar to us all. On the unemployment journey we have a tendency to focus on the closed doors instead of the doors that are opening for us.

We are all in this together and learning different behaviors constantly.

Today is Friday, the end of the week. Think back about a Friday when you were working and how excited you were the week was over. There is no difference today, you worked all week researching job options, attending interviews and been on an emotional roller-coaster.

It is time to take a break and regain your emotional strength.

Some small steps you can take to replenish your positive energy:

• Put that smile on your face even though it may hurt. Wearing a smile tricks your mind into thinking you are happy. Within a matter of minutes your attitude changes.
• Call yourself on the phone and list all your strengths. Example: Great personality, very intelligent, fantastic communication skills, etc. Saying your strengths out loud makes them seem real.
• Leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog, telling us about your strengths. We are a family of unemployed folks who are supporting each other with new ideas and strategies in finding that new job.

Let’s make Friday,  Acknowledging Our Strengths Day.

Our little game is teaching us how to take one positive action step and practice it for a day.

Remember…Monday is Smile Day. Smiling when meeting people gives you an inner-strength.

Tuesday is Dance Day. Dancing provides energy, exercise and having fun at the sametime.

Wednesday is Miracle Awareness Day. Reminding yourself about the miracles occurring during your day provides security in your life.

Thursday is Feeling Like a Winner Day. Acting like a winner gives you the courage to take risks and have faith things are working out.

Friday is Acknowledging your Strengths Day. Realizing you have many strengths empowers you to hold your head up high and feel good about yourself.

Let’s continue promising each other we will take time each day to enjoy the day by playing our little game. Smiling on Monday, dancing on Tuesday, looking for miracles on Wednesday, acting like a winner on Thursday and acknowledging our strengths on Friday.

I can’t wait to hear all about your strengths.

Helen

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Thinking like a winner
means not always
having to defeat someone else.
It means being able
to grow from a situation in which
you fail to reach your goal.
It involves not demanding
perfection from yourself
in every single thing you do, but,
instead, thinking of yourself as perfect
and thus capable of growing.
It means reminding yourself that
perfection doesn’t mean
staying the same;
it means being able to allow yourself to grow.
Thinking as a winner means
not coming down on yourself;
it means refusing to allow
self-repudiating thoughts into your head.
It involves pushing out the inclination
to evaluate yourself in comparison with others,
and giving yourself permission
to be the unique person you are.”

Today is a new day and let’s practice being a winner while on the unemployed journey.

Remember…you are a winner just the way you are with all your knocks and bruises.

Life takes us on different paths. Some times we are happy, other times we are sad and other times we feel frustrated. You are the same person you have always been even though your feelings are changing constantly.

It is our job to constantly remind ourselves we are winners. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “We have to feel good about ourselves, learn from our situations and give yourself permission to be the unique person you are.

One small step you can take when you are feeling sad or frustrated about your situation STOP and take a deep breath. Then say out loud, “I am the same person I have always been and am a winner.”

Even though thinking the words are false by repeating them often in time you will start believing they are true.

Let’s make Thursday, Feeling Like a Winner Day.

Remember…Monday was Smile Day. What experiences did you have while smiling and having eye contact with different people you met?

Tuesday was Dance Day. Your job was to spend time dancing today and having fun.

Wednesday is a day for Miracle Awareness. During the day look for miracles, write them down and repeat them out loud.

Thursday is Feeling Like a Winner Day. Constantly remind yourself during the day, you are a winner and repeat the affirmation, “I am the same person I have always been and am a winner.”

Let’s make a promise to each other we will take time each day to enjoy our day playing our little game. Smiling on Monday, dancing on Tuesday, looking for miracles on Wednesday and acting like a winner on Thursday.

I am looking forward to hearing from you about the new opportunities that are surfacing while playing the role of a winner.

Helen

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~ Israel Baal Shem

Stand-up and put you hand over your closed eyes. What do you see? Nothing but darkness!

This is the way we live our lives. Focusing on the things we feel are not working out. Trying desperately to find a job.

Quietly in the background miracles are happening all around us. Did you receive a call from a recruiter or see an interesting article to help you with your search, etc. These different opportunities are miracles showing up in our lives.

Let’s take a step back and become aware of the miracles in our lives. This is not an easy task. Below are some small steps you can take:

• Every hour during the day stop and ask yourself, “What miracle happened in the last hour?” By focusing on the positive happenings you will change your attitude and feel more alive.
• Write the miracles down on a piece of paper. Writing these different situations down makes them real.
• At the end of the day read your miracles out loud in front of a mirror. Saying them helps you realize what is happening around you.

Let’s add Wednesday to our little game.

• Monday was Smile Day. We smiled and had eye contact with the different people we met in the coffee shop. 
• Tuesday is Dancing Day. We blasted our music and danced around the house.
• Wednesday is a day for Miracle Awareness. During the day we will look for miracles, write them down and say them out loud.

Have fun looking for miracles!

Until Tomorrow,

Helen

P.S. Please let the Love Yourself – It Maters Community know what experiences are occurring. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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