Posts Tagged ‘feeling deprived’
Sharing Our Special Gifts
What do you like about yourself? Most of us don’t think about ourselves only when something happens and we are upset about our behavior. Usually we spend most of our time thinking about the things we have to do, losing weight or other people. When do you ever stop and think about the great person you are?
I was leading a workshop and requested that all the participants find a partner they know and tell each other what they liked about them. At first the room was very quite and then as time went on with my prodding people started to share and I saw smiles and tears. Then requested everyone find a new partner and tell that person what they liked about them. The exercise continued until each person had three new partners.
After the exercise a person shared he never realized how much others valued his advice. Another person shared how everyone loved her smile and people felt comfortable being with her. The shares continued and what we all learned from the exercise is how we always take for granted our special gifts.
Today is a new day and your chance to acknowledge your special gifts. I invite you to complete the following exercise to discover your special gifts.
1. Ask someone you feel very comfortable with if they would help with a project you are doing? If they say, “Yes.”
2. Explain you are going to tell them what you like about them and then they can tell you what they like about you.
3. Continue the exercise two more times.
4. Give each other a big hug if you are together.
5. Write yourself a letter listing what you like about yourself and what your friend told you.
6. Mail the letter to yourself.
7. Read the letter often reminding yourself what special gifts you give to others and what a beautiful person you are.
Please let me know after completing this exercise what you have discovered about your special gifts. Also, what impact has it made on your life after learning about them. I can be reached by leaving a comment on the Getting off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourself.net.
“We are beautiful people who have many special gifts to share with ourselves and others.” Helen Burton
Feeling Comfortable at a Party
Do you sometimes go to a party, feel uncomfortable because you don’t want to eat everything insight and most people are making a pig of themselves? If you answered yes to this question you are not unique. If you would ask 100 people this question I am sure a majority would answer the question with a loud “YES.”
I was talking to a client last week who was invited to a Christmas party, who has been eating healthy and losing weight. She was very nervous about going to the party and in no way wanted to change her plan of eating. We discussed her fear which was real and should not be ignored. Her greatest fear was that she would just start eating and not be able to stop. I reassured her she always had a choice and no one could make her do anything she did not want to do. My telling her this did not make her feel better.
We then brainstormed ideas she could use when she got to the party to give her confidence. Some of the ideas were:
1. Call her friend and see what she was serving.
2. Plan what she will eat before going to the party.
3. Put the rock she received from her daughter in her pocket and touch it often to remind herself that she is special.
4. Only put food on her plate she planned to eat.
5. Under no circumstances go back for more food.
6. Talk to two people who are not her close friends and find out about them.
7. Go to the bathroom whenever she felt overwhelmed and picture a bright light protecting you.
8. Seek out friends at the party and ask for support.
9. When she got home to send me an email letting me know about her experience.
10.Reward herself with reading a fun novel before going to sleep.
My client went to the party last night and I received an email saying she ate healthy and had the best time ever because she was able to listen to everyone instead of focusing on the food.
Now is your turn to prepare before going to a party. I would love to hear what steps you plan to take in order to ensure you eat healthy at the party and take care of yourself after the party. I can be reached by leaving comments on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
The holiday season is here!! It is the time of the year when we shop and party until we drop. Often, too, that old feeling of being overwhelmed visits us nearly everyday.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. We do have another choice. Instead of continuing to wish the season was over or this year enjoy it. Following is an article I wrote suggesting ways to enjoy the season. The following article has been published in various newspapers and magazines
Holidays Don’t Have to Be Full of Stress
Empowerment Coach Offers Tips to Enjoy the Season
Balancing work and family is difficult enough on a normal day, but the stress of juggling holiday responsibilities can push anyone to the breaking point. But according to Helen J. Burton, an empowerment and recovery coach, much of the stress is focusing on ‘should haves’ instead of embracing the moments for what they are.
“Most people are striving for the Currier and Ives Christmas of their childhood, but in reality they’re dreading the holidays because they know it won’t meet their idealistic view,” she explains.
How can you beat back the dread and have the family holiday of your dreams? “Start by lowering your expectations,” advises Burton. “Be more realistic about what you can do. This usually involves changing the tradition — it can be equally as good, but it has to be unique to your family.”
Burton is a certified coach who helps women Get Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round and create their ideal life. She founded Love Yourself Coaching (www.loveyourselfcoaching.net) in 2001, to meet the ongoing need creating healing and better lives by empowering others.
She offers the following tips to help de-stress and enjoy more of the holiday season:
1. Take a mini-holiday everyday. “It’s important to focus 10 minutes every day on you by taking time out for yourself,” says Burton. She suggests reading, listening to music, meditating, or just doing nothing.
2. Get out and enjoy the season. “Forget participating in the hustle and bustle, watch it go by instead by meeting a friend out for coffee,” she says. “It also gives you a chance to connect with someone in a relaxed atmosphere.”
3. When you need help, ask. Burton suggests having a list of friends and family who can be “just a phone call away when you are feeling stressed or upset.”
4. Send yourself a holiday greeting. “Write yourself a letter which you mail to yourself by the middle of December,” says the coach. The letter should include a thank you to yourself for who you are, acknowledging how much you’ve grown. “Also put in a list of three problems you solved this year and what impact that has made on your life,” Burton says.
Burton also suggests sending a similar letter to loved ones, telling them how special they are as well. “It’s a great way to connect, and reveal the true meaning of the season.”
For more information about Love Yourself Coaching, contact Burton at Helen@LoveYourselfCoaching.net.
Now it is Your Turn!
I invite you to take one or all of the steps above. Please let me know about your experiences and how the exercise changed your holiday season. I am available to support you in anyway. You can contact me by sending an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
(Virginia, I will need a link to the flyer)
Wishing you a holiday season sprinkled with happiness, love and abundance.
Helen
Jeffrey, my seven year old grandson and I spent last week together while his parents were on vacation. We had a great time together and learned a great deal from each other. I learned how to negotiate, different science terms and strengthened my math and spelling skills.
During the first hour of our special vacation together we devised a plan we both would follow. Jeffrey’s rule was he would go to bed at 8:30pm instead of 8:00pm. My rule was we would not disagree. Keeping his rule was easy and following my rule a little difficult.
We were both learned how to express our feelings without getting angry and finding a solution together for the situation. Negotiating with a seven year old is quite a learning experience. At one point he told me that all I had to do was remind him about his rule because sometimes he forgets.
We both bought journals. We now each have a personal journal to write whatever we want and a happiness journal that we are sharing. In our happiness journal we wrote what made us happy each day. It is amazing what little things make a child happy and how complex we are as adults.
I invite you to strengthen your negation skills with yourself and become aware of what little things make you happy. Following is an exercise which will help you with your negation skills and becoming aware of what makes you happy.
• Every time you have a negative thought, STOP, and ask yourself, “Is this thought making me happy and if not what can you tell yourself instead.
Example:
1. Thought, “I would love that piece of cake.”
2. STOP and ask yourself, “Is this thought making me happy.”
3. Answer “Yes, for the moment and later I will beat myself up for eating it.”
4. Another Thought, “I am so happy I have kept my commitment to eat healthy for today.”
• Keep a small journal in your pocket and every time you have a happy thought write it down.
• Several times during the day read the happy thoughts. I am sure it will put a smile on your face.
• At the end of the day congratulate yourself for negotiating with yourself and listing your accomplishments and lessons learned.
As always, I would love to her what you learned about yourself by completing the above exercise. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net
It is officially the holiday season and now is the best time to take care of YOU. Remember the key is keeping your commitment to a healthy lifestyle and BEING KIND TO YOURSELF.
CHANGE
Change can cause such unhappiness in our lives. Most people want to change something in their lives and when the opportunity presents itself to make this change they become upset and unhappy. What happens is our routine is altered.
I was on vacation in Las Vegas last week and experienced a change in my food plan. For the past nine years I have been basically eating the same foods with very little change. The first night we went out for dinner and to my surprise there was nothing on the menu I could eat. After talking to the server I was shocked to hear there were no salads or vegetable platters. Not planning ahead I panicked and wanted to leave the restaurant. My husband in a calm manner asked the server if there were any meals with a lot of vegetables and chicken. Her reply was she would have something made for me. I felt better and thanked my husband. When our meals arrived I was shocked to see two big pieces of lettuce and chicken. We both started to laugh. I ate what was in front of me and assured myself I would not die because I did not have enough food.
The next morning I woke-up in a state of panic and wanted to go home. I called one of my friends and after talking about the situation she simply said go to buffets and that way you can get what you want. We started to go to buffets and I was able to get the foods I wanted, felt confident and enjoyed Las Vegas. I learned an important lesson plan ahead and ask for help. Others have suggestions we never think of in time of stress.
Please let me know about your experiences regarding changes in your life. What tools did you use to comfort yourself? Let’s build a list of tools we can all use to share with others. Please leave your comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
On Thursday we will be celebrating Thanksgiving in the United States. It is a time to get together with family and friends. The food is on everyone’s mind. Some of us have thoughts of how can I not eat the fattening food, others are thinking I feel so fat and don’t want everyone to see me like this. Holidays always brings up feelings that are sometimes buried.
Let’s play a little game and make this year different. We have a choice either we can make ourselves sick about going to the Thanksgiving get together or have a good time. We can eat everything in site and then complain about feeling stuffed or we can create an action plan before we go to the party.
Following are some small steps you can take to end the cycle of compulsive overeating at parties. For the past nine years I have been taking the following steps:
1. Never go to a party hungry.
2. Take a bottle of water when you get to the party and drink it before eating.
3. Create a grateful list by asking others what they are grateful for.
4. Talk to at least three people before eating.
5. Don’t sit near the food.
6. Take only a small amount of the different types of food with plenty of salad.
7. Have fruit for desert.
8. Never go back for seconds.
9. After you finish eating take another bottle of water.
10.Walk around and talk to everyone.
11.Don’t stay late.
12. At home do something nice for yourself.
This Thansgving try some of these ideas and let me know what happens.
I would love for you to join me in writing “Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog, by sharing your special gifts with the world. All it takes is one little step, leave a comment expressing your ideas and experiences.
A special note to anyone who is struggling with food, please leave a comment and I will address you concerns in my blog. Together we will create a plan that will enable you to live a vibrant life.
I will be on vacation for a week and wish you all a Happy and Fun Thanksgiving.
What are you doing nice for yourself today?
Helen
Limiting Beliefs
“There are no hopeless situations;
there are only people who have grown
hopeless about them.”
Clare Boothe Luce
Are you thinking I can never lose weight or everyone in my family has a weight problem and I will never be thin? You are not alone. Many people have the same thought. What is so apparent is our thinking and beliefs stop us from succeeding. There is hope!
Our beliefs are formed by our experiences. You remember your first diet and losing weight very quickly. Thinking what is everyone making a big deal about, within a short period of time I lost the weight and feel great. Then as time goes on, you try another diet, then another diet and before you know it gets harder and harder to lose weight. What starts to happen is you form the belief it is hard to lose weight. Everytime you start a new diet your thinking reminds you of the fact it is hard to lose weight and keep it off.
What can you do to solve this problem? I am not going to say it is easy to change your beliefs. By taking small action steps you will slowly change your thinking and miracles will happen.
I was listening to Michael J. Losier author of “Law of Attraction” he was telling us that when he weighed over 300 pounds and was telling himself he was thin. Nothing happened because he believed he could not lose the weight. Once he started telling himself he was in the process of losing weight he started losing weight. By changing his thinking to something he could believe helped him accomplish his goal.
Some small action steps you can take to start changing your thinking and beliefs:
1. STOP telling yourself it is hard to lose weight. Everytime you have that thought acknowledge it and think about a time you were thin.
2. Look at a picture of yourself when you were thin at least once a day.
3. Write about the time you were thin and how you felt.
4. STOP dieting and eat one healthy meal a day.
5. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself out loud, “I love you.” At first it may be hard and as time goes on it gets easier.
I would love to hear from you. Please let me know how you are doing and any other small steps you are taking to change your thinking and beliefs.
Together let’s create a “Get Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Community.” Sharing our ideas, accomplishments and lessons learned. All it takes is one little step, leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
A special note to anyone who is struggling with food, please leave a comment and I will address your concerns in my blog. Together we will create a plan that will enable us all to live a life filled with joy, self-confidence and love for ourselves and others.
What are you doing nice for yourself today?
Helen
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
Reading this quote made me think of all the times I gave up trying to lose weight and reassuring myself it was right the choice. After awhile my clothes would become tight and I was starting another diet. Does this sound familiar? You are not alone.
The line,” Our greatest weakness lies in giving up” is so true. Whenever I gave up in any situation in the beginning I felt relieved and then the guilt and failure thoughts would start beating me up. On the other hand whenever I tried just one more time it gave me confidence and eventually I succeeded.
Tina was a young 47 year old grandmother who was dieting most of her life. As a child she was overweight, her mother was always telling her she liked food too much and if she was not careful she would have a weight problem. At the age of 15 she was already taking diet pills to lose weight.
Tina’s weight went up and down like a roller coaster. Her routine was diet for a few weeks, stop for awhile and then start a new diet. Her mood swings were getting to her family and co-workers.
Tina contacted me and we started exploring her mood swings. What she realized through coaching was when she was doing something about her weight she felt energized. Working together we created a Daily Action Plan designed especially for Tina taking into consideration her lifestyle and eating habits.
Following her healthy eating plan one day at a time Tina started focusing on other things in her life besides the food. She started taking hiking trips and spending more time with her friends and granddaughter. To Tina’s amazement she started losing weight and was enjoying life again.
I invite you to explore your different feelings whenever you are giving up or trying one more time. Please let me know what you discover by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
Have a great day! Helen
STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES
Are you telling yourself , “I can’t lose weight because I love food so much.” This is very common and you are not alone. There is a solution to this problem.
John (name changed) was on the diet merry-go-round, he would start a diet every Monday morning and by Tuesday afternoon be back into the junk food. He would beat himself up and his self-esteem would take a nose dive. Does this story sound familiar?
One day he decided enough is enough and started looking for professional help. One of his friends suggested he hire a Diet Coach. The next day I received a call and we started working together. During our sessions together John discovered he was telling himself constantly, “I love food so much, it makes me feel better and I can never lose weight.” We started exploring his story and discovering what was behind it. John was unhappy in his job and instead of focusing on finding a new job he ate to make himself feel better. Once John discovered the real reason for his food obsessions he could take the steps to find a new job and lose weight at the same time.
Working together John realized he really loved working with people instead of sitting behind a desk and writing computer programs. We devised a plan where he would start talking to other computer programmers. What John found there was a need to help people understand the new software programs they just bought. John researched different companies that hired software trainers. While conducting an informational interview with a software company he was offered a job as a trainer.
During this process, John stopped focusing on the food and put all his attention on finding a new job. A miracle happened, he was able to eat healthier meals, give up the junk food and to his amazement he lost weight.
What is behind your story that you can’t lose weight? I invite you to try the following exercise:
1. Write down all the things that are making you unhappy.
(Example: 1. Neighbors are not very friendly.
2. There is no place within walking distance to walk my dog, etc.)
2. Rate them from 1 to 5 (1 not important and 5 very important)
3. Determine which of the items you rated a “5” is the most important.
(Example: Neighbors are not very friendly.)
4. Write why this item is stopping you from moving forward in your life.
(Example: I feel alone and worry if I have an emergency no one will help me.)
5. Decide what action steps you are going to take to solve this problem.
(Example: I am going to start saying hello and talk to my neighbors.)
Please let me know what you have discovered while completing the exercise above. Once you have uncovered what is behind your story you can take the steps to make the changes and stop focusing on the food. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.com
Finding Love in Your World
Find love in yourself
in taking time for you
in celebrating your special gifts.
Find love in your family
in acknowledging each other
in telling each other, “I love you.”
Find love in friendship
in sharing and supporting one another
in knowing you are not alone.
Find love in conversations with others
in listening and learning
in contributing ideas.
Find love
in sharing YOU
with others.
Helen Burton
The poem above represents the meaning of love for me. It has taken me many years to realize what is important in life and what is not. What I have learned is that everyday is a new beginning and by respecting me and sharing with others I find love everyday.
I invite you to spend time thinking about the word, “love” and what special meaning does it have for you. Please leave your comments or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net and together let’s create a new meaning for the word, “love.”
Special Invitation
Do you feel alone on your journey as you are struggling with food or other issues of life? This is a very common feeling for anyone who is riding the roller coaster of life. The good news is that you have an easy and accessible solution: Get Support.
You are cordially invited to the Monday Morning Wake-Up Action Call Series.
Join Coach Helen Burton and other successful entrepreneurs, business owners, coaches and consultants in setting and announcing your intentions for the week and the steps, large and small, you plan to take during the course of the week.
Every Monday 7:00 am – 7:30 am (Eastern)
Monday Morning Wake-Up Action Call
Each Monday, we will:
• Start by taking a few moments to silently think about what you want to focus on during the week.
• Share intention and actions step we are going to take during the week.
An example: My intention this week is not to binge when I come home from work. The small step I am going to take: Every day at 5:30 pm I will light a candle, make myself a cup of tea and listen to music for just 10 minutes. Then, I will prepare dinner.
Receive support from others and make progress on your personal and professional journey.
Every Monday 7:00 am – 7:30 am (Eastern)
Monday Morning Wake-Up Action Call
RSVP: Sign up today and take the first step for discovering who you are and getting off the merry-go-round of life.
Simply click the link below to sign up and we will email you the details.
http://loveyourselfcoaching.com/pages/wakeup.htm
You Are the Important One
‘This life is yours
Take the power
to choose what you want to do
and do it well
Take the power
to love what you want in life
and love it honestly
Take the power
to walk in the forest
and be a part of nature
Take the power
to control your own life
No one else can do it for you
Take the power
to make your life happy’.
Susan Polis Schutz
Do you ever feel you don’t have control over your life? You are not alone. There is a solution. All you have to do is decide enough is enough and start taking the little steps to take care of yourself. It is easier said than done.
Why is it that we always put ourselves last? I remember when my children were very young I would continually buy them expensive clothes which they out grew in a few months. Since I spent most of the extra money on them I did not buy myself any new clothes for years. Who was the loser in this situation? ME
I continued to put myself last for many years until one day I realized this is not working and I had to change my thinking and behavior. As luck would have it, I went to a training which taught me how to take care of myself. The most important phrase I learned at the training was “I am Important.” To this day I have a sign on my bathroom mirror which reads, “You are Important” and read it everytime I look in the mirror.
Today I take the following steps to make sure I continue to take care of myself on a daily basis:
1. Thank myself for being who I am.
2. Eat healthy and never take that extra bite.
3. Say I love you to my family members and friends.
4. Take my min-vacation everyday, by doing something nice for myself.
5. Relax at the end of the day by getting into bed with a good book before I go to sleep.
As always, I would love to hear what steps you are taking to take care of yourself? Remember as a team we can support each other in taking the small steps to stop using food to make us feel better and start treating ourselves with respect.
I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I am looking forward to hearing from you and building a community to support each other on our journey.
What are You doing nice for yourself today?
Helen
You Are Fantastic Just the Way You Are!
Do you sometimes feel like crying because you can’t seem to lose weight? You are not alone! Many a morning I would think to myself, “I will never lose this weight; I always be overweight.”
Sheila (name changed) was a very successful business owner, loving wife and super mom. She was about 40 pounds overweight and was thinking about losing weight all the time. She tried every diet imaginable only to gain the weight back every time she stopped dieting. Even though she was succeeding in the other areas of her life she felt like a failure and had low self-esteem.
We started working together and the first area we focused on was building Sheila’s self-esteem. She took the steps below to feel confident, lovable and proud of herself. Sheila lost the unwanted unhealthy weight while focusing on her forgotten dream of dancing. Today Sheila is maintaining her weight, taking jazz lessons with her daughter and loves her life.
Some of the steps Sheila took to build her self-esteem are as follows:
1. Before getting out of bed in the morning she gave herself a big hug.
2. While taking a shower in the morning she keep repeating, “I am fantastic just the way I am.”
3. Gave someone in her family a big hug in the morning and told them she loved them.
4. Before eating wrote down what she was going to eat and only ate the planned menu.
5. Took at least 10 minutes a day to do something nice for herself.
6. Exercised for 30 minutes a day, four times a week.
7. Practiced her dance routines.
8. Before going to bed made a list of the things that made her happy that day.
9. Continued to remind herself during the day that she was safe, felt confident and lovable.
10. Asked for support whenever she felt alone and her fears were surfacing.
I invite you to experiment today and try at least one of the above steps. By taking a small step you will begin a new journey which leads to making your dreams come true.
As always I am here to support you. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
How to lose weight, dieting tips, struggling with food, food, loving yourself
Do you feel good when someone helps you? If you answer, “Yes” to this question you are in the majority. The reason being we are feeling special at the time and someone takes the time to acknowledge us.
Yesterday was an example of someone going out of their way for me and how grateful I felt. While my grandson Jeffrey was in karate and sparing with another child his elbow was hurt. After making trips to different hospitals and doctor’s offices we learned that his elbow was dislocated and maybe broken. His entire arm was put in a dark blue cast (his choice of color.)
The hospital where the specialist was located was in a very bad neighborhood. My next thought after finding out Jeffrey only needed a cast was that there had to be a safer way to get back to the highway. I asked different nurses and doctors for directions to the highway. The surgeon who took care of Jeffrey lived near us and led us back to the highway. What I learned from this situation was to ask for help.
This same situation can be applied when we are struggling with food. In most cases, changing your eating habits is a monumental task if you do it alone. With support the task becomes easier. Please ask yourself the question, “Who can I contact to help me with my struggle with food?” Then take the next step and contact that person. I am also available for support. You can either contact me by leaving a comment on this blog or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. You have options so why do it alone?
This is a continuation of yesterday’s Getting OFF the Diet Merry-Go-Round article, discussing your commitment to take the necessary steps to lose weight or have “the diet” do the work for you.
Are you hoping “the diet” will allow you to lose weight and you won’t have to change your thinking about food or eating habits? If you answer “Yes” to this question, you have taken the first step in realizing what is stopping you from succeeding. This realization is an opportunity you can explore and then develop a plan to change your thinking and habits. In a way this is a miracle!
If you would like to start exploring what is stopping you from succeeding please answer the following questions. Remember there is no right or wrong answers. The only thing we are doing is exploring what is hold you back from succeeding.
1. How many diets have you been on in the last year?
2. What successes did you have while on any one particular diet?
3. While on any of the diets did you change your think about food?
4. What happened to change your mind and start a new diet or just take a break from dieting?
5. What eating habits do you still follow when you either changed diets or stopped dieting? (Example: I never eat standing up.)
After completing this exercise what thoughts and ideas did you come up with? Please share your ideas and thoughts by leaving a comment or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
I need your help in building a community where we can support each other in our journey. Please let me know if you are interested by leaving a comment or sending me an email. I look forward to hearing from you.
Affirmation Today: There is a solution and I am losing weight.
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