Posts Tagged ‘feeling fat’
“If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself but to
your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius
When I read the above quote, the thought that popped into my mind was how as a child I always felt fat, but when seeing the pictures today I look thin. Our perception of ourselves causes us more pain than we should experience.
I was with a group of people the other day and we were discussing how important it was to be our own best friend instead of our enemy. Someone was mentioning how easy it was to beat themselves up and then feel sorry for themselves. I am sure we can all identify with this situation.
Everyone started discussing what they don’t like about themselves. After giving them time to enjoy the conversations I asked what we can do about the problem of not supporting ourselves? The conversation turned around and we all came up with solutions. Some of the solutions are as follows:
1. Every time you have a destructive thought to stop acknowledge it and then say out loud something you like about yourself.
2. Once a day give yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself and then think about how grateful you are for your life now.
3. Every night make a list of at least three things you like about yourself.
4. Every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you.”
5. Once a week call a friend and tell each other one thing you like about each other.
6. Every day take time out to do something nice for yourself. (Example:
take a long leisurely bath.)
7. Once a week don’t exercise and congratulate yourself for taking the day off.
8. Once a month buy yourself flowers.
9. Once every few months send yourself a letter listing the reasons why you love the person you have become.
10. At the end of the day write in your journal how liking yourself is making a difference in your life.
I invite you to try some of the above suggestions and let me know about the difference they are making in your life. Also, I would love to hear about the tools you use to guarantee you are your own best friend. After trying some of the suggestions above please leave your experiences and techniques you use on this blog, or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Do something nice for yourself today! Helen
Are you ready to put your diet thinking to sleep once and for all? I have been getting emails from people who are frustrated and tired of worrying about how they are going to lose weight and keep it off. Don’t give up hope, there is an easy answer.
While working with clients and from my own experiences, I have found by following some of the small steps it will make a difference in your thinking and behavior:
1. Leave a voicemail on your phone at least once a day, thanking yourself for who you are. It might sound crazy and after a few days you start looking forward to the message.
2. Acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments.
3. Prepare a special meal for yourself at least once a week.
4. Schedule time in your calendar to have fun with your children or husband/boyfriend or a good friend.
5. Research different diet plans and don’t start a new diet until you feel it is the right one for you.
The bottom line is being kind to yourself. I love the following quote:
“Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars.
In the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.”
Max Ehrmann
I was at my granddaughter’s graduation on Wednesday night and people watching as the guests were arriving; my favorite sport. While looking around I was thinking, boy can that person lose weight or I wish I looked like that person. At one point I mentioned to someone in my family, “I wish I was that thin and his reply was you are.” I stopped and thought what are you doing?
It is so easy to get caught up in our story about not being thin and if only I could lose another 20 pounds. My life would be perfect! I started thinking, what if I changed my story, told myself I was thin and living a vibrant life NOW what would happen. A new challenge!
So from that point on I kept telling myself, you look great and how exciting it was to be at my granddaughter’s high school graduation. I was so grateful that my family members were sitting next to me, we were all yelling together when Caitlin marched in, of course she heard us and turned, smiled and waved. The speakers at the graduation were very inspirational. I was thinking how lucky we are today to have the knowledge and awareness that enables us to create our own vibrant lives.
I was working with a client yesterday and she was telling me about her assignment. During her last session, we were talking about the stories we tell ourselves and how destructive they could be. She then crafted a new story that was very positive and loving of herself and others. Her special opportunity the week between sessions was to keep telling herself the new story. Cathy (name changed) found by telling herself the new story she woke up with a smile each morning, ate healthier and enjoyed her day. Taking this small step Cathy started living life from a different perspective.
Some simple tools you can use to change your story:
1. Write a very short story on an index card describing your perfect life. An example: “Today I feel loved, healthy, enjoying my life, wanting to eat healthy and exercise and am grateful for my supportive friends and family members.”
2. Read the card when you get out of bed.
3. Read the card whenever you start thinking about your old story.
4. Read the card before going to sleep.
5. Continue this exercise for 20 days.
As always, I would love to hear what you are experiencing on your life’s journey. Please feel free to contact me with your stories, comments, and ideas. Write to me by leaving your comments at the bottom of this article or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
Your life is perfect and you are a beautiful person! The first time hearing that statement, I thought what are they talking about. I am so fat, can’t stop eating and nothing is going right in my life. No way is my life perfect and I am such a weak person. Does this self-talk sound familiar?
For many years I continued to beat myself up about my weight and the things happening in my life. I loved living in the self-pity role and blaming everyone else for everything going wrong in my life. I remember during a very difficult time in our lives my daughter had a terrible accident and someone said they would pray for us. Very loudly, I told her not to pray for us because God was causing all these problems.
One day I was telling a close friend about how fat I was, a terrible mother and we had no luck in our lives. She told me to stop beating up her best friend. That was a turning point for me and a few months later I took the EST Training and learned that I had responsibility over my life and no one else did. That was over 20 years ago; from that day on I started taking responsibility for my life and most times are kinder to myself. Today I can honestly say my life is perfect and I am a beautiful person.
I have a client who was beating herself up about not eating healthy and never exercising. After listening to her for awhile, I asked what was she accomplishing by not taking responsibility for her actions. She thought about this for awhile and said absolutely nothing. The next step was brainstorming ways she could start living in the solution not the problem. While brainstorming different ideas Sally (her name has been changed) realized she wanted a puppy to keep her company. Her dog died suddenly last year. Sally bought a puppy and now the two of them take many walks everyday. Not only does Sally have companionship she is exercising and starting to eat healthier.
Now is your turn! What small steps can you start taking today to live your perfect life and realize what a beautiful person you are? Following is a suggestion:
Make a chart using the folloiwng three columns:
1. First Column: Write down things you hate about yourself (I eat too much food at meals.)
2. Second Column: Write what you can do to make the situation better (Use a smaller plate and only eat what is on your plate.)
3. Third Column: Write down the date you are going to start this new behavior (Today at Lunch.)
As always, I would love to hear what is happening in your life and the tools and techniques you are using to make your life better. Either leave a comment or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
Today’s Affirmation: Today my life is perfect and I am a beautiful person.
ASK HELEN:
Q Lately, I have been going through a difficult time and I want to keep myself motivated, feeling happy and make sure I continue to eat healthy. Do you have any ideas?
A I always tell my clients, “Welcome to the human race.” Things are always happening in our lives. Some days you may feel, “Life is beautiful” and other times think, “I would love to live on a beautiful island by myself.”
Even in the best of times, we still have personal issues going on that can impact our daily lives. I have heard it said many times, “When your car won’t start either you can think, why does everything bad happen to me or just call someone to fix the car. We have choices!
The most important tool you can use during a difficult time is to keep taking care of yourself. Following are some of the tools and techniques my clients and I use during those times:
1. Eat healthy and in no way change anything regarding what you eat or when you eat. By following your eating routine will create a level of comfort for yourself.
2. Exercise daily. It has been proven that exercising increases your endorphins which makes you feel better.
3. Say a mantra, “I am safe and everything will be OK.” Reassuring yourself gives you a sense of safety.
4. Create a grateful list, identifying what you are grateful for. By writing them down it shows you that life is not so bad.
5. Call someone for support. Sometimes after talking about a situation, you find solutions to the challenge.
6. Take a mini-vacation. Plan to take at least 10 minutes a day to do something nice for yourself.
Bottom line: You are the director of your life even though circumstances happen. There are choices: either you can think constantly about what is happening, or take steps to change your outlook and still enjoy your life. I leave you with the following quote:
“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”The Serenity Prayer
As always, I would love to hear what is happening in your life and the tools and techniques you are using to make your life better. Either leave a comment or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
SOLUTIONS FOR ENJOYING THE SUMMER
Are you thinking, “Summer is officially here and I will not put on a bathing suit and go to the beach this year.” Welcome to the human race! Most of us with weight issues have this thought and blame ourselves for not losing the weight over the winter so we could wear a bathing suit this summer.
Having this thought is living in the problem instead of the solution. You might be thinking there is NO solution to this problem. Let’s spend some time brainstorming ways of enjoying this summer and the beach.
1. Buy a bathing suit that feels comfortable and a pretty cover-up to go over the bathing suit.
2. Start today taking a small step to change your eating behavior. What small step can you take? An example: just for today light a candle and have a cup of tea or coffee instead of grabbing something from the refrigerator. Tomorrow repeat the same lovely experience.
3. Go to the beach early in the morning when it is less crowded. Early in the morning, I love having a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper on the beach.
4. Take a walk on the beach at sundown.
5. Sit in your backyard sun bathing using a heavy sun blocker.
6. Take a long walk early in the morning; this is my favorite time of day.
7. Schedule time with a good friend to have lunch in an outside café.
8. Invite family and friends over for a picnic and invite everyone to bring a healthy dish. An example: Salad, vegetable sticks with flavored yogurt for dipping, grilled skinless chicken, baked potatoes, fruit and other low calorie dishes. Please let me know what dishes you served at the picnic.
9. Take your children or grandchildren, or nieces or nephews to a water park.
10. Set-up a birdbath and watch the birds and squirrels take a bath.
I would love to hear your ideas for living in the solution for enjoying this summer and spending time on the beach.
