Special Moments

Life is like a box of chocolates

“Life is like a box of chocolates.”
~ Forrest Gump

I love this quote. Life at times can be a piece of chocolate in the midst of an entire box of assorted chocolates. Some pieces are familiar favorites while some pieces are rather exotic or unknown. Some pieces turn out to be unexpected pleasures, even though at first glance they seem mysterious or something to be avoided.

My husband past away almost four years ago and yesterday would have been his birthday.  I received a call from my daughter in the morning asking if I wanted to go out for dinner and celebrate her dad’s birthday. My first reaction was no—I just wanted to spend the day hiding and forget about his birthday. All of a sudden, my positive side kicked in, and I agreed to meet her at his favorite restaurant.

I spent the day thinking about the times we celebrated our birthdays together. Sometimes we had the family over and celebrated together, while other times we went away for a few days or had dinner alone. We never forgot about each other’s birthday.

As I’m writing this article I’m thinking how life can be like a box of chocolates. A piece of chocolate is sweet and delicious. My memories during the day were sweet and brought a smile to my face. Meeting my daughter at night was very healing as we discussed our life as a family and what special moments we all shared together. The day turned out to be very special and healing.

Now It’s Your Turn!

When you read the Forrest Gump quote, what special memories come to mind? You can consider these moments as your happy place. Whenever you are feeling a little sad, it’s time to think of those special moments. I’m sure they will bring a smile to your face.

Acceptance of Who We Are

Life is like a rollercoaster.

“There are two kinds of people:
Those who don’t do what they want to do,
so they write down in a diary about what they haven’t done,
and those who haven’t time to write about it because they’re out doing it.”

~ Richard Flournoy and Lewis R. Foster

Reading this quote brought a smile to my face.  Some days I am the first person they described and other days the second one.  We are all human beings and our actions are dictated largely by our attitude.

Some days I wake up in the morning feeling motivated and other times I want to pull the covers over my head.  Either way I have to get out of bed and take action. Feeling motivated means going with the flow and implementing action steps that will move my business forward.  When feeling overwhelmed, it takes courage to start thinking and moving in another direction.

What is a person to do?  Acknowledge what is going on and support yourself accordingly.

When feeling discouraged it is time for pampering.  We all need a vacation from our daily routines. The important thing to remember is that it’s important to regroup and learn what is happening in our lives.  Instead of fighting our thoughts, feelings and blaming ourselves just go with the flow.  Acceptance improves our attitude and we learn from our experiences.  Have faith. You will start feeling motivated again. 

Below are ways to pamper yourself:

• Cook yourself a healthy and delicious breakfast.  My favorite pancake recipe:
  • ¼ Cup of Cottage Cheese
  • 1 egg
  • 1 package of oatmeal
  • 6 oz. container of yogurt
  • 1 cup of blueberries

Combine the cottage cheese, egg and oatmeal together and cook on a medium flame.  When pancake is cooked top it with the yogurt and blueberries.  ENJOY!

• Exercise!  It makes you feel alive and good again.
• Pick out clothes that make you feel good.  
• Work for a few hours.  Continue acknowledging yourself.  Example: After writing an article, acknowledge yourself for how easy it is to write and express your ideas.  
• Sit back in a chair and just relax.  Do absolutely nothing!!
• If inclined, take a bubble bath.
• Journal about your magnificence. I know this may be hard.  Just get started and the ideas will flow.  Example of getting started:  Helen, I want to thank you for taking the time to acknowledge how I am feeling.  This has made a big impact I am starting to regain my self-confidence and my day is beginning to change…  
• Give yourself permission to just be you and do whatever you want. 

Enjoy the time!

Life is like a rollercoaster. By keeping a positive attitude, accepting our thoughts and feelings, and pampering ourselves makes the ride worthwhile. 
 
Good Luck!
 
Helen

Be Kind to You Day!

A thing of beauty
is a joy forever.
~ John Keats

Close your eyes and sit silently for a few minutes.  Picture yourself sitting under a big tree smiling, and feeling relaxed.  That is a thing of beauty!

We continuously have a choice to either feel good about ourselves or be our own worst enemy.  Which one do you pick today?  I choose to be kind to myself today!

I am sitting here with a smile on my face thinking about what I am going to do special for myself today.  Below is my dream day.

• Think of happy thoughts all day and every time an unhappy thought pops into my head simply say, “No drama today.”
• Make myself a healthy and delicious breakfast.  My favorite pancake recipe:
  • ¼ Cup of Cottage Cheese
  • 1 Egg
  • ¼ Cup of uncooked Oatmeal
  • 2 tbls. of water
  • 1 Cup of Yogurt
  • 1 Cup of Cut Up Fruit

    Mix the cottage cheese, egg, oatmeal and water together.  Pour the mixture into a frying pan and cook over a low heat.  When pancake is cooked put it on a plate, add the yogurt and fruit.  Enjoy!

• Work for half a day.
• Make myself a healthy salad for lunch.  I always add cooked vegetables to a mixed green salad, protein, rice and salad dressing.  For dessert I have fruit.
• Buy myself a small gift.
• Take a leisurely walk with a good friend along the Princeton Canal.  Make sure we laugh a lot.  
• Meet friends for dinner.
• Take a nice long bubble bath.
• Read a book and go to sleep early.

Doesn’t that sound like a special day? No DRAMA and being kind to myself all day long. 

Please share your dream day with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  Together let’s create “BE Kind to You Day.”  Looking forward to hearing about your special day. 

Helen

Do you find yourself walking through walls?

“There comes a time in a man’s life
when to get where he has to go
-if there are no doors or windows-
he walks through a wall.”
~ Bernard Malamud

Do you find yourself many times walking through walls?  Look at it this way, we are still moving forward.

This has been my pattern lately.  Nothing seems to be flowing easily.  I seem to be always pushing.  It takes a lot of energy and I am constantly tired.

What is a person to do?  There has to be a better way.

Let’s dissect this dilemma.  What is really going on?  The word that pops into my mind is “CONTROL” and not trusting the process.  Does this sound familiar?

It might sound crazy, but I find that “Control” gives me a sense of comfort. When I just let things happen in a way it is scary because it may not turn out the way I want.  When I am in this space I start to make lists, plan my every move and just control everything around me.  This kind of behavior is very taxing and tiring.

When you find yourself controlling everything relax and implement the following exercise:

• Sit in a chair where it is quiet, where no one is around to bother you.  It is amazing how peace and quiet gives you a sense of security.
• Take 5 deep breaths and just let yourself unwind.
• Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What am I afraid of?  Example: New clients will take advantage of my programs.
  • What is the worst thing that could happen?  Example: I will have to close my business.
  • What benefit could you receive from this happening?  Find something that lights my fire and makes me exciting again.  
  • What is really going on?  Example: My Company is thriving.
  • What can you tell yourself when your insecurities become apparent? “Just for today everything is running smoothly and trust the process.”  
• Take 5 deep breaths and just relax for a few minutes.
• When you are ready at the count of 5 opens your eyes.

What I learned from this exercise: When I find myself trying to control everything it is time to uncover what is going on. 

Now it is your turn!

Take the time to relax and complete the exercise above.  What did you learn?  Please share your thoughts with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

Change, Renew and Rejuvenate

Rejuvenate Yourself

 “We must always change,
renew, rejuvenate ourselves;
otherwise we harden.” 

Johann Von Goethe
(German poet and writer) 

Let’s take this quote apart and see how we can easily implement it.

The first step is to always allow things to change.  We sometimes resist change and keep doing the same thing over and over wishing for a different result.  It is like going to a bakery and looking for something to eat that does not have two calories.  We continue doing the same thing until one day we realize nothing is going to change unless we take a different course of action.

Changing your course of action

• Choose one action step you are currently taking that is not creating the results you desire. Example: Sending emails to prospect clients instead of attending networking events. 
• Evaluate the action and see what small step you can take to change the outcome.  Example:  Instead of sending emails to prospect clients, make a phone call and arrange to meet for coffee or lunch. Building relationships is the key for attracting clients.
• Implement this new action for a month and see what results are occurring. 
• Make necessary changes.

The second step is to renew your passion. Sometimes we feel that we are continually climbing a mountain and our passion starts to diminish.  We are only human and need a ray of sunshine to ignite our fire. 

Ignite your fire

• Write a letter to a loved one telling them how your passion is weakening.  You don’t have to share the letter with anyone. 
• Journal about how you are feeling.
• Call a friend or your coach and schedule time to brainstorm ideas.
• Journal often about the different ideas and opportunities that are developing.
• Keep exploring and enjoy the journey.

Rejuvenate Yourself

Do you take time for yourself?  If you don’t, why not?  Not enough time, you forget or feel it is not important.  YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

I love the expression “In order not to feel resentful of others, take time for yourself first.” It has been proven over and over again when we schedule time for ourselves and then give to others, it is a special gift.     

What are you going to do nice for yourself today?  I am going to pick-up my grandson today from school, go to the library and then out for dinner before attending his Science Fair.  

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community what changes you are going to make, ignite your fire again and rejuvenate yourself. 

Helen

Support From Others Creates Miracles

Inner Beauty

‘Remember that beauty works from within, it cannot be put on and off like a garment.’ Elizabeth Cady Stanton

The Elizabeth Cady Stanton quote above illustrates that it is more important to be true to yourself instead of worrying about outside appearances.

I would like to share a story with you. Susan (name changed) was overweight, decided she would stop focusing on her weight and buy expense clothes and makeup to make herself feel better. Buying the clothes and new make-up, it did the trick for a short period of time. Then Susan was back to her old way of thinking, “I must lose this weight before I can be happy.”

What the underlining message was that Susan did not like herself and was looking for something to make her happy and feel comfortable. As illustrated in the quote above until we find a way to, “Remember that beauty works from within” we will always look for the outside magic fix to make us feel better.

One day Susan was talking to a friend about her challenge and how she felt. Together they took the following steps during their morning walks and a miracle happened they started to lose weight.

1 Planned their own healthy eating plan before meeting for the walk.
2. Shared their plan with each other.
3. Discussed the challenges they were facing regarding their eating plans.
4. Brainstormed different tools they could use to ensure they would remain committed to their new lifestyle.
5. Promised each other they would follow their eating plan, no matter what happened during the day.
6. Shared for the last five minutes their successes and what made them happy the day before.
7. Each Saturday after their walk they would treat themselves and have breakfast at a local restaurant.

This routine went on for many months and what happened they both felt supported, liked the person they were inside and out and started losing weight.

What could you do today that will help you start liking yourself from within?

Remember I am here to support you in your journey. Please let me know about your challenges, stories and concerns. This is a community where we can support each other on our life’s journey. I can be reached by leaving your comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I really am looking forward to hearing from you.

Eating Healthy While on a Day Trip

Do you have trouble eating healthy when you take a day trip? I remember always thinking I can eat anything I want because I am on vacation. Then when I returned home the vacation eating mentality continued until I started my next diet.

Yesterday my grandson Jeffrey and I went to the Aquarium for the day. I decided to make a picnic lunch so we didn’t have to worry about finding some place to eat. Wednesday night we both decided what we wanted to eat the next day.

We got to the Aquarium which was very crowded and after watching a few shows and looking at the different types of fish. Jeffrey and I had lunch. While we were eating, Jeffrey commented he really liked having a picnic because he had his favorite foods and we did not have to stand in the long lines. Not only did we eat healthy we had more time to visit the different exhibits. We both loved the sharks swimming over our heads and being able to touch the sharks. It was really a fun day!

Following are some ideas you can use on your day trip to ensure you will eat healthy:

1. Plan what you are going to eat the day before.
2. Order a fruit cup for desert.
3. Leave the table and go to the rest room if the desire to eat something on the table is not on your food plan.
4. Keep reminding yourself, “You are special and deserve to take care of yourself.”
5. Have fun and enjoy the day!

I would like to hear what tools and techniques you use to ensure you eat healthy while on a day trip. Together we can create a list that can be used by anyone during their eating healthy journey. I can be reached either by leaving a comment on the blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Food Is Doing Push-ups In The Corner

Last Saturday morning, I was thinking about my day and realized we were going to a wedding that night. Dreadful thoughts over took me as I started thinking about all the food and having to watch everyone eat.

I have been in recovery from my compulsive overeating for over eight years. Every time I am invited to a party, I always start worrying about how I am going to handle the food. Usually as the day progressed I become more anxious and my fears turned to anger. I start to control everyone, telling them what to do and if they didn’t listen I would get angrier.

This time I decided this day would be different and I was not letting my fear of the food ruin my day. That morning my husband and I took a walk, as we were walking I told him how I felt. While I was walking the dreaded feeling started to disappear. By the time we returned from our walk I felt much better. As it turned out I had a pretty relaxing day.

My husband and I went to the wedding enjoying each other’s company instead of arguing. After the ceremony, my fears came true; we entered a room where there was enough food to feed more than 500 people. I left my husband and started to walk around the room looking for something I could eat. While walking around I started to talk to friends, family members and before I knew it they were calling us into dinner.

Once at the table, I felt much better because I could eat, dance and enjoy seeing my niece and her new husband enjoy their wedding. I ate what was on my food plan and felt fulfilled, powerful and grateful that my food monster did not take control of my day.

Some of the tools I use to ensure my food monster does not have power over my recovery:

• Acknowledge my feelings and talk to someone about them.
• Decide what I am going to eat ahead of time.
• If I want to eat something not on my plan, STOP, ask myself is this the choice I want to make and then take the appropriate action.
• ACKNOWLEDGE MYSELF!

What feelings do you have when you go to a party?

Diet Mentality

New Year’s Resolutions??????

I was on the treadmill Monday morning (January 1, 2007) and listening to the News. I heard them say the number one resolution this year was “wanting to lose weight.” They also said, “Approximately 70% of the men and 56% of women do not keep their resolutions.”

When I heard these statistics, I was wondering if there was a solution for changing the resolution and these numbers in future years. Wouldn’t it be a miracle if the number one resolution would be maintaining our healthy lifestyle by eating healthy and exercising and the statistics for keeping this resolution would be around 75% (let’s not be to optimistic.)

It is the New Year and on the computer, television, radio and newspapers all you hear and read about are diets. As far back as I can remember I was always trying new diets. The sad part was that I would lose the weight and then when I went off the diet I would always gain the weight back plus more pounds. This continued for many, many years until I lost 50 lbs. and then was afraid to eat.

This cycle continued for a few years until one day I went to a Recovery meeting and heard other people tell my story. That was 8 years ago and today I eat healthy, exercise and work on maintaining loving and supportive relationships.

As they say I have walked the talk and as a Recovery Coach, I have been helping people for the last five years find or create eating plans that work for them instead of dieting and thinking about food all the time.

Let’s work together to eradicate the dieting mentality and what a miracle it would be if people started following a healthy eating plan instead of wanting to just loose weight.

I would love to hear your ideas, feedback and comments. Please let me know if you are interested in working together to eradicate the diet mentality and have people start thinking about healthy eating exercising plans .