Doing for Our Grandchildren Is a Gift of Love

Everyone goes through difficult days—even children! Things that might seem unimportant to us can impact a child in different ways. I am sounding very deep right now.

Recently, my 11-year-old grandson seems to be facing some struggles. While on the surface none of these struggles are earth-shattering to me, everything seems to be a big deal to him. Yesterday he went to school with a hole in his pants. He called his mother and asked her to bring him another pair of pants. But she was busy all day with clients and meetings. Then my cell phone rang. My grandson was on the line, asking me to bring him a pair of pants. I had commitments with clients all morning and, on top of everything else, had a very bad cold and wasn’t in the mood to drive 20 minutes both ways.

However, being a grandmother, I couldn’t say “No.” After finishing with my next client, I went to the school so we could go to Target together to buy another pair of pants. When I walked into the school building, I was greeted by both my grandson and the Principal. She asked me why I was taking him out of the school. I explained he had a hole in his pants and we were going to the store for another pair. She looked at me as if I was crazy and told him to go back to class and for me to go home. So that’s what we did: he went back to class and I went home.

Thinking about what had just happened, I felt good that my grandson feels comfortable calling me and knows I love him. The best gift we can give anyone is support and showing the person, “I love you.”

On the way home, I started thinking about the many different times I felt such love from my grandfather and how special it made we feel. How lucky I am to give to my grandchildren the love that makes them feel special.

Later that day, my grandson called and thanked me for coming to the school. We both laughed about how the Principal sent him back to class and me home.

Now It’s Your Turn

Think about the times you were with your grandchildren when both of you felt a deep love for each other. These are special moments. Not only do you feel close to each other, but it builds self-confidence and a closeness that can never be taken away.

Enjoy the time you spend together, and keep building those memories.

Helen

Bookmark It

Special Moments

Life is like a box of chocolates

“Life is like a box of chocolates.”
~ Forrest Gump

I love this quote. Life at times can be a piece of chocolate in the midst of an entire box of assorted chocolates. Some pieces are familiar favorites while some pieces are rather exotic or unknown. Some pieces turn out to be unexpected pleasures, even though at first glance they seem mysterious or something to be avoided.

My husband past away almost four years ago and yesterday would have been his birthday.  I received a call from my daughter in the morning asking if I wanted to go out for dinner and celebrate her dad’s birthday. My first reaction was no—I just wanted to spend the day hiding and forget about his birthday. All of a sudden, my positive side kicked in, and I agreed to meet her at his favorite restaurant.

I spent the day thinking about the times we celebrated our birthdays together. Sometimes we had the family over and celebrated together, while other times we went away for a few days or had dinner alone. We never forgot about each other’s birthday.

As I’m writing this article I’m thinking how life can be like a box of chocolates. A piece of chocolate is sweet and delicious. My memories during the day were sweet and brought a smile to my face. Meeting my daughter at night was very healing as we discussed our life as a family and what special moments we all shared together. The day turned out to be very special and healing.

Now It’s Your Turn!

When you read the Forrest Gump quote, what special memories come to mind? You can consider these moments as your happy place. Whenever you are feeling a little sad, it’s time to think of those special moments. I’m sure they will bring a smile to your face.

Bookmark It

Hunches Are Miracles in Disguise

“A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.”
~ Frank Capra

Thank you, Frank Capra, for your quote. I am always having hunches and most of the time just let them evaporate into thin air. From now on when I have a hunch, I will stop and listen.

A hunch is described as a premonition, intuition, instinct or idea. Many of these thoughts are constantly passing through our minds. Instead of letting them float away, we have another option: pay attention to our hunches.

As I am writing this blog post, a thought has popped into my head. What a difference it would make to work with a group of coaches who want to offer their services during this time of year to people who are struggling. 

What comes to mind is helping the unemployed. We could barter our services. That way, we are supporting individuals in their time of need and at the same time giving them an opportunity to give us a gift. When I first started coaching, one of my friends made me roasted vegetables in exchange for my coaching services.

What do you think about this idea? Please let me know by leaving a comment below, or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Here are some of the ways we can find unemployed people who might be interested in our services:

• Ask friends, family members or neighbors if they know of anyone who is unemployed. Request they contact the person to see if this person would like to receive support in finding a job. Once you know the person is interested, give this person a call.
• Put an ad in your local newspaper; in some cases, such an ad may be free. We can work together in making the content inviting.
• Go to a networking event that reaches out to the unemployed. Get to know the attendees, and schedule to have coffee with the people you meet.
• Put a flyer on display on the bulletin boards of local thrift shops or food banks. Another idea is to volunteer your time at the thrift shop or food bank so you can strike up conversations with people in need of coaching services.
• Send an email to various houses of worship in your area, volunteering to present a motivational program for groups serving the unemployed. 
• Let me know your ideas for reaching out to people who are struggling during the holiday season.

Together let’s make a difference. I am anxiously waiting to hear from you. Either leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net with your ideas of how we can put this group together and get started.

Let’s make this year different and give to those in NEED!

Helen

Bookmark It

Change Brings Happiness into Our Lives!

Change Your Thinking

“Things don’t change.
You change your way of looking, that’s all.”
~ Carlos Castaneda

When I read Carlos Castaneda’ quote it really struck me.  How we are always looking for our life to change and never take the time to change our thoughts. 

Castaneda suggests change the way you look at things.  EASIER SAID THAN DONE!

Let me tell you a little story… I am working with a client, who we call Fran.  Her business was steadily growing through the years.  One day she woke-up thinking her business was failing.  If things didn’t turn around quickly she was going to be bankrupt in a few months. 

When she called me, Fran was devastated and could not understand what happened.  Last month she did not feel this way, and was implementing new programs.  All of a sudden she was thinking about letting her team members go and maybe looking for a JOB. 

We discussed what was happening and looked at her business growth objectively.  After checking with her Accountant, Fran was surprised to learn that the profits this month were higher than last month.  What changed was her thinking.

Isn’t it amazing how we allow ourselves to cause suffering in our own lives.

Next time things are running smoothly and you want to shake up your life, implement the following steps.  This exercise also helps people who are facing real hardships in their lives.

• STOP take a deep breath and ask yourself the question, “Is what I am thinking right now, really true and nothing will ever change?”  By stepping back and examining the situation we start seeing our challenges from a different perspective and solutions start appearing. 
• Make an agreement with yourself not to think about your challenge for today.  Every time the thought pops into your head tell yourself, I will think about it tomorrow.  Miracles happen all the time so don’t waste your time worrying about something that can change in minutes.  There is an old saying, “Most circumstances we imagine never materialize.”
• Think of a time in your life when you were experiencing difficulties and within a short period of time everything turned around and your life was better than it was before.  This happens all the time and by visualizing what happened will give you strength and hope to continue. 
• Remind yourself constantly, that you are doing the best you can and the Universe is here to guide you.  
• Think happy thoughts at least once every thirty minutes.  By thinking these thoughts you will start changing your philosophy and a smile will appear on your face. 

As Castaneda says, “Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your thoughts about this blog post.  Together we will grow and experience joy in our lives. 

Helen

Bookmark It

Joy is what happens

Hurricane Irene, Hightstown, NJ 2011

“Joy is what happens
to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good
things really are.”
~ Marianne Williamson

This past weekend, “Hurricane Irene” paid us a special visit. Moving up the east coast she showed her true colors and caused mass destruction. 

Everyone was posting on Facebook what was happening and how lucky they were.  It brought a smile to my face, realizing what a beautiful community I am part of.  We live life and at the same time acknowledge the special gifts we are receiving.

I lost three trees and was grateful they did not damage my house or shed. My neighbors had a few feet of water in their basements. A few years ago, we had a battery backup installed on the sump pump.  When we lost power for four hours it kicked on and continued taking the water out of the basement.  How lucky is that?

Living through “Irene” made me think of how we take things for granted.  Today let’s focus on how lucky we are and share our special gifts with everyone.  Sometimes it takes hardships to wake us up and change our perspectives.

Right now is our opportunity to start living from a new perspective.  What can you do differently?  Who is up to taking this challenge?

I am going to start… From this moment on I will keep a happiness journal and write three things a night that made me happy during the day.  Then post them on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog and Facebook page. 

Now it is your turn!

What can you do differently to bring more joy into your life?  Some examples:

• Acknowledge the first person you see. Think of something that will put a smile on their face.  Example:  I was at a coffee shop and the first person I saw was a little girl.  I smiled and told her that I loved her dress.  She did a little dance and told her mother, “This lady likes my dress.”  We were all smiling.  
• Call someone who is experiencing a hardship and brighten their day by acknowledging their greatness.  Example:  During the conversation share with them how much you cherish their friendship. 
• Make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and a grab a good book.  
• Steal my idea and start a happiness journal. Remember to post your experiences on the Love Yourself – It Matters! blog or facebook page
• Work on your hobby.  It definitely will bring you peace and satisfaction.

Please post in the comment section of the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog what you did differently today.  Making one small change can bring a smile to your face and more joy to your life.

Remember as Marianne Williams quote states, “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Take Care,

Helen

Bookmark It

Acceptance of Who We Are

Life is like a rollercoaster.

“There are two kinds of people:
Those who don’t do what they want to do,
so they write down in a diary about what they haven’t done,
and those who haven’t time to write about it because they’re out doing it.”

~ Richard Flournoy and Lewis R. Foster

Reading this quote brought a smile to my face.  Some days I am the first person they described and other days the second one.  We are all human beings and our actions are dictated largely by our attitude.

Some days I wake up in the morning feeling motivated and other times I want to pull the covers over my head.  Either way I have to get out of bed and take action. Feeling motivated means going with the flow and implementing action steps that will move my business forward.  When feeling overwhelmed, it takes courage to start thinking and moving in another direction.

What is a person to do?  Acknowledge what is going on and support yourself accordingly.

When feeling discouraged it is time for pampering.  We all need a vacation from our daily routines. The important thing to remember is that it’s important to regroup and learn what is happening in our lives.  Instead of fighting our thoughts, feelings and blaming ourselves just go with the flow.  Acceptance improves our attitude and we learn from our experiences.  Have faith. You will start feeling motivated again. 

Below are ways to pamper yourself:

• Cook yourself a healthy and delicious breakfast.  My favorite pancake recipe:
  • ¼ Cup of Cottage Cheese
  • 1 egg
  • 1 package of oatmeal
  • 6 oz. container of yogurt
  • 1 cup of blueberries

Combine the cottage cheese, egg and oatmeal together and cook on a medium flame.  When pancake is cooked top it with the yogurt and blueberries.  ENJOY!

• Exercise!  It makes you feel alive and good again.
• Pick out clothes that make you feel good.  
• Work for a few hours.  Continue acknowledging yourself.  Example: After writing an article, acknowledge yourself for how easy it is to write and express your ideas.  
• Sit back in a chair and just relax.  Do absolutely nothing!!
• If inclined, take a bubble bath.
• Journal about your magnificence. I know this may be hard.  Just get started and the ideas will flow.  Example of getting started:  Helen, I want to thank you for taking the time to acknowledge how I am feeling.  This has made a big impact I am starting to regain my self-confidence and my day is beginning to change…  
• Give yourself permission to just be you and do whatever you want. 

Enjoy the time!

Life is like a rollercoaster. By keeping a positive attitude, accepting our thoughts and feelings, and pampering ourselves makes the ride worthwhile. 
 
Good Luck!
 
Helen

Bookmark It

Be Kind to You Day!

A thing of beauty
is a joy forever.
~ John Keats

Close your eyes and sit silently for a few minutes.  Picture yourself sitting under a big tree smiling, and feeling relaxed.  That is a thing of beauty!

We continuously have a choice to either feel good about ourselves or be our own worst enemy.  Which one do you pick today?  I choose to be kind to myself today!

I am sitting here with a smile on my face thinking about what I am going to do special for myself today.  Below is my dream day.

• Think of happy thoughts all day and every time an unhappy thought pops into my head simply say, “No drama today.”
• Make myself a healthy and delicious breakfast.  My favorite pancake recipe:
  • ¼ Cup of Cottage Cheese
  • 1 Egg
  • ¼ Cup of uncooked Oatmeal
  • 2 tbls. of water
  • 1 Cup of Yogurt
  • 1 Cup of Cut Up Fruit

    Mix the cottage cheese, egg, oatmeal and water together.  Pour the mixture into a frying pan and cook over a low heat.  When pancake is cooked put it on a plate, add the yogurt and fruit.  Enjoy!

• Work for half a day.
• Make myself a healthy salad for lunch.  I always add cooked vegetables to a mixed green salad, protein, rice and salad dressing.  For dessert I have fruit.
• Buy myself a small gift.
• Take a leisurely walk with a good friend along the Princeton Canal.  Make sure we laugh a lot.  
• Meet friends for dinner.
• Take a nice long bubble bath.
• Read a book and go to sleep early.

Doesn’t that sound like a special day? No DRAMA and being kind to myself all day long. 

Please share your dream day with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  Together let’s create “BE Kind to You Day.”  Looking forward to hearing about your special day. 

Helen

Bookmark It

Do you find yourself walking through walls?

“There comes a time in a man’s life
when to get where he has to go
-if there are no doors or windows-
he walks through a wall.”
~ Bernard Malamud

Do you find yourself many times walking through walls?  Look at it this way, we are still moving forward.

This has been my pattern lately.  Nothing seems to be flowing easily.  I seem to be always pushing.  It takes a lot of energy and I am constantly tired.

What is a person to do?  There has to be a better way.

Let’s dissect this dilemma.  What is really going on?  The word that pops into my mind is “CONTROL” and not trusting the process.  Does this sound familiar?

It might sound crazy, but I find that “Control” gives me a sense of comfort. When I just let things happen in a way it is scary because it may not turn out the way I want.  When I am in this space I start to make lists, plan my every move and just control everything around me.  This kind of behavior is very taxing and tiring.

When you find yourself controlling everything relax and implement the following exercise:

• Sit in a chair where it is quiet, where no one is around to bother you.  It is amazing how peace and quiet gives you a sense of security.
• Take 5 deep breaths and just let yourself unwind.
• Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What am I afraid of?  Example: New clients will take advantage of my programs.
  • What is the worst thing that could happen?  Example: I will have to close my business.
  • What benefit could you receive from this happening?  Find something that lights my fire and makes me exciting again.  
  • What is really going on?  Example: My Company is thriving.
  • What can you tell yourself when your insecurities become apparent? “Just for today everything is running smoothly and trust the process.”  
• Take 5 deep breaths and just relax for a few minutes.
• When you are ready at the count of 5 opens your eyes.

What I learned from this exercise: When I find myself trying to control everything it is time to uncover what is going on. 

Now it is your turn!

Take the time to relax and complete the exercise above.  What did you learn?  Please share your thoughts with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

Bookmark It

Love is the Answer

Love is the Answer

“Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.”

~ Jean Anouilh

Today is Valentine’s Day and everyone is thinking about whom they love and who loves them.  Are you forgetting the most important person, “YOU?”

Many years ago, I received an email stating the benefits of acknowledging yourself on Valentine’s Day.  At first thinking how selfish, it made me think of how we always forget ourselves.  Everyone comes first!

One night last week I was out with a friend and we decided after dinner to walk around the mall.  It was very crowded and most people were carrying shopping bags.  We were saying, how commercial Valentine’s Day had become and people were probably buying gifts for their loved ones.  He then made a comment, “Why don’t they buy something for themselves?”  We then decided to buy something for ourselves and each other.  It was fun.
What are you going to do special for yourself today? 

I am going to write myself a love letter!

Dear Helen,

I want to thank you for your kindness and understanding of all the times your negative thoughts had us spinning.  You always acknowledged the thought and turned it into a positive way of thinking.

Your love of life, warmth, smile and personality always makes people feel comfortable and special.  What a special gift you are giving to your family, friends and business partners. 

Love Yourself Coaching has been a vehicle for you to support coaches in building prosperous businesses while loving themselves.  Working together with your clients you have seen them take giant steps and find happiness within themselves.

I love you and enjoy your special day!

Helen

Now it is your time to take out that piece of paper and write yourself a love letter thanking “YOU” for who you are and the wonderful gifts you give to others.  The letter can be for your eyes only.  Be honest and go for it.  

I want to thank you all for being part of the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  You certainly have made a difference in my life.

Love,

Helen 

Bookmark It

May you live all the days of your life.

Bookmark It

“Be Here Now”

“Be Here Now”

Ram Dass

This morning I was watching a short video about enjoying the moment. It told a story about a man who was out for the day and driving towards the beach area. He suddenly realized his cell phone was not working. The man started obsessing about not being able to receive calls and what if someone needed him. He missed the beautiful scenery along the road. Finally, he decided to turn around and go back home. When he got back home and was able to check his phone no one had called. How sad!!

How many times do we keep thinking about something and the day disappears. I read some place once that over 90% of the things we worry about don’t happen.

Let’s make today a new way of being and stop ourselves when we start to obsess about something.

Some simple steps you can take when that annoying thought appears.

· Take a deep breath and close your eyes for a second.

· Say to yourself, “Be Here Now.”

· Think about what you are doing at that moment.

Your annoying thought will disappear and suddenly you will be living in the moment. Don’t be surprised if you have to practice this exercise at least 50 times a day. Eventually, you will start to only live in the moment.

Remember you are not alone I am right next to you doing the same thing.

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your progress.

Bookmark It

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.

What sunshine is to flowers,

smiles are to humanity.

They are but trifles, to be sure;

but, scattered along life’s pathway,

the good they do is inconceivable.

~Joseph Addison

What caught my attention reading Joseph Addison’s quote was the word ”sunshine.” Here in New Jersey the winter days are cold and dreary. I would love to feel the summer sun again.

As my husband always said, “You can’t do anything about the weather so stop worrying about it.” How true!

My next thought was how can I brighten my spirit and feel the sunshine within. On to another challenge!

I reread Joseph Addison’s quote again and learned that smiles are our sunshine. Feeling empowered, I put on my coat and went to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Holding a cup of coffee in my hand does wonders for my morale.

As I walked into the store, I smiled at the first person I saw. He smiled back and then I smiled at someone else. Within minutes most of the people in the store were smiling and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

Driving home with my cup of coffee and a smile on my face, the sun came out.

Are you up to playing a little game? The next time you are in a store, smile at the first person you see. Continue smiling at everyone and see what happens.

Please share your experience with the members of the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. Together let’s put smiles on people’s faces.

Bookmark It

Acknowledging your Accomplishments

“Shoot for the moon.

Even if you miss it

you will land among

the stars.”

Lester Louis Brown

American journalist

I think about Lester Brown’s quote and the feeling of overwhelm comes over me.  Recently, I have been shooting for the moon and landing among the stars.  Things seem to be moving very quickly and I am losing focus of what is happening.

This morning…thinking all I have been doing is taking one action step after another and not acknowledging my accomplishments.  I am losing the enjoyment of moving forward on my journey and feeling like a “Robot.”

Celebrating your accomplishments is part of the journey.

Now it is time to change my behavior, start feeling, celebrating and learning from my actions.

Let’s create an action plan together.  Below are some of my ideas.  I would love for you to contribute your ideas and together we will create a “Self Acknowledgement Plan.”

Helen’s ideas:

• Before turning the computer off for the evening take the following steps:
  • Meditate for 5 minutes to center myself.
  • Write a thank you note to myself or leave a voicemail acknowledging my greatness.
  • Drink a cup of tea while closing down for the day.

What are your ideas?  Please leave them in the comment section below.

Have a beautiful day and “Shoot for the moon” and possibly land among the stars.

Bookmark It

Taking Control of Your Day!

Does the weather affect your mood? If you answered “Yes” to this question, you are in the majority. It has been raining since Sunday and I have been wondering where the sun has been hiding? It is amazing how different you feel when the sun is shinning. I know there are scientific reasons for this happening and the only thing I want is to see the sun again.

What can you do in the meantime until the sun shows its smiling face? Some ideas are as follows:

1. Curl up with a good book.
2. Call a good friend and reminisce about the good times you had together.
3. Read or start a “Happiness Journal” which includes times and situations that put a smile on your face and how you felt.
4. Write a story about your life and the lessons learned.
5. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and think about a special day you had in your life and write about it.
6. Make a grateful list of all the things you are grateful for right now.
7. Take an umbrella and go for a short walk.
8. Go to Barnes and Noble and browse through the bookshelves. My husband’s favorite pastime.
9. Play a game with your children and the winner choices the next game or what they want for dinner.
10. Go to the shopping mall with a limited amount of money, looking for things you want and don’t spend a penny more.
11. Take your mini-vacation for at least an hour and do anything you want.
12. Go to the movies and enjoy your time away.
13. Take a nap.
14. Plan your next vacation.
15. Your choice of whatever you feel like doing right now.

You are the CEO of your life and can create it anyway you choice. What action steps are you going to take today to make it a day to remember? I would love to hear from you by either leaving a comment on my blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

‘The world is but canvas to our imagination.’ Henry David Thoreau

Bookmark It

Let’s Respect Ourselves

It is no secret that the word commitment is the key to our success. This is especially true when it comes to respecting ourselves. We have a tendency to always put others, places and things before ourselves. It has been proven over and over again that when we take time for ourselves it enables us to feel content and motivated.

Why is it that we always come last? Is it due to guilt, low self-esteem, self-sabotaging or just plain laziness? I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about canceling her gym membership and just taking a walk at the mall after work three times a week. She was not going to the gym and wasting money. Her friends were telling her that as long as she had the gym membership she would exercise. What was missing is the commitment to herself that by exercising she was taking care of herself.

Discussing this challenge with everyone gave her the fuel she needed to live in the problem instead of the solution. After discussing this dilemma for awhile she decided to put on her sneakers and walk around the shopping mall. Seeing her later that night I inquired how she made out. She walked around the mall and the only trouble was that she did some shopping while she was there. Another dilemma; shopping. A suggestion was made to leave her wallet in the car while taking her walk. The question is, “Continue making excuses for not exercising or make a commitment that nothing will stop you from taking care of yourself.”

What I am learning through life experiences that by making a commitment to be kind to myself at all times improves my attitude and enables me to feel contentment, happiness and self-respect. What beautiful gifts I am receiving. I love the following inspirational message and think about it whenever I start living in the problem instead of the solution.

“Every small positive change
we make in ourselves
repays us in confidence
in the future.”
Alice Walker

As always, I would love to hear how you are making positive changes in your life.

Bookmark It