Posts Tagged ‘love yourself’
Love is the Answer
“Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.”
~ Jean Anouilh
Today is Valentine’s Day and everyone is thinking about whom they love and who loves them. Are you forgetting the most important person, “YOU?”
Many years ago, I received an email stating the benefits of acknowledging yourself on Valentine’s Day. At first thinking how selfish, it made me think of how we always forget ourselves. Everyone comes first!
One night last week I was out with a friend and we decided after dinner to walk around the mall. It was very crowded and most people were carrying shopping bags. We were saying, how commercial Valentine’s Day had become and people were probably buying gifts for their loved ones. He then made a comment, “Why don’t they buy something for themselves?” We then decided to buy something for ourselves and each other. It was fun.
What are you going to do special for yourself today?
I am going to write myself a love letter!
Dear Helen,
I want to thank you for your kindness and understanding of all the times your negative thoughts had us spinning. You always acknowledged the thought and turned it into a positive way of thinking.
Your love of life, warmth, smile and personality always makes people feel comfortable and special. What a special gift you are giving to your family, friends and business partners.
Love Yourself Coaching has been a vehicle for you to support coaches in building prosperous businesses while loving themselves. Working together with your clients you have seen them take giant steps and find happiness within themselves.
I love you and enjoy your special day!
Helen
Now it is your time to take out that piece of paper and write yourself a love letter thanking “YOU” for who you are and the wonderful gifts you give to others. The letter can be for your eyes only. Be honest and go for it.
I want to thank you all for being part of the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. You certainly have made a difference in my life.
Love,
Helen
“Change your thoughts and change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale
Do you wake up every morning and think today is going to be a good day? That is the true meaning of positive thinking.
Each morning as I open my eyes I hear Alice, my cat, meowing in a piercing sound. She wants to eat!
Getting out of bed quickly so she stops, my thoughts turn to my day. I have programed myself to think about what is happening and 3 things I want to accomplish. This exercise works for me and I feel motivated instantly.
You may ask me, “How can I start changing my thoughts in the morning?” Being honest, it does take time. Below are a few steps you can take to start the process:
· After opening your eyes in the morning give yourself a big hug
· Picture yourself sitting in a warm place feeling peaceful
· Say out loud or to yourself 3 things you are grateful for
· Think about your day and one nice thing you are going to do for yourself
Continue this exercise every morning for a week and see what happens.
Please let me know if you are feeling better in the morning and motivated to start your day. As Norman Vincent Peale says, “Change your thoughts and change your world.”
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
“Be like a postage stamp –
stick to one thing till you get there.
Sheila Graham
Do you wake-up in the morning with the idea you are going to accomplish certain tasks? Then as the day proceeds you never take action towards any of these projects.
Welcome to the world of the entrepreneur!
This morning getting out of bed, I started thinking about my to-do list. My day started walking with my neighbor, straightening the house, answering emails, coaching clients and all of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was noon. To my utter surprise I did not start any of the projects that were on my to-do list. This pattern happens a lot.
What is a person to do?
Thinking about this challenge, all of a sudden the “Smart Goal” Model popped into my head. Below is the model:
S = Be very specific
Example: My goals were write an article, research different writing groups, coach clients, food shop, take time to just relax and the list goes on and on.
M = Measure your progress
Example: My measurement would be completion of the different projects.
A = Achievable
Example: This plan was not achievable, no way could I accomplish everything in one day.
R = Reasonable
Example: Since all the items were not easily accomplished in one day, I would create a realistic
plan. This plan would be produced by reviewing my goals and choosing which items could be accomplished in a reasonable amount of time.
T = Time Table
Example: Today’s Schedule:
1:00pm – Write Article
3:00pm – Food Shop
4:00pm – Spent time with Jeffrey, my grandson relaxing
6:00pm – Coach last client for the day.
Tomorrow:
8:00am – Research writing groups
10:00am – Create a new plan
This arrangement sounded realistic.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your challenges about creating a reasonable daily plan. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Helen
Filed under Business Tips, Coaches, Life Issues
Tags:Achieving Goals, Coaches, Coaching, feeling empowered, love yourself, Mini-Vacation, positive thinking, professional, responsibility, self-confidence, SMART Goals, struggles
A Social Media Webinar Series for Professional Coaches
Presented by Helen Burton and Joanna Carides
Learn More Here: http://ow.ly/1bOkV
In this webinar, you will quickly understand how to use Facebook,
LinkedIn and Twitter specifically for growing your coaching practice.
We will be revealing:
- How easy it is to set up your profile and be a leader in your industry.
- What not to do, when building your following.
- Decide which media site is best to develop your business.
- Remove your overwhelm about Social Media, once-and-for-all!
- The perfect formula for posting your status updates.
- The secrets to drive more traffic to your website and blogs.
Click Here and Register here now!
Dates:
Facebook on March 17 & 24
LinkedIn on April 14 & 21
Twitter on May 5 & 12.
Participate in the webinar from the comfort of your home or office! All you need are a phone, computer and Internet access.
Cost:
$65 per topic (two one-hour sessions)
10% discount for registering for your choice of 2 topics: $117
20% discount for registering for all 3 topics: $156
Register here now!
Please forward flyer to your Business Colleagues!
Filed under Business Tips
Tags:business marketing, business owners, business struggles, Coaches, Coaching, feeling alone, feeling empowered, love yourself, NJPCA, professional, Small Business Owner
“Faith is believing
before receiving.”
~ Alfred A Montapert
As a holiday present to my daughter and son-in-law I am watching Jeffrey, my grandson, and Charlie a 100 pound Lab for a week.
Yesterday morning started out very calmly and got ready to leave for school. One of the things we do before leaving for school is walk Charlie. Let me correct myself, Charlie walks us.
The walk was a bit of a struggle and we arrived home a little tired. Jeffrey removed Charlie’s leash and before we knew it the dog ran away. Both of us started running after Charlie and had no luck capturing him.
At one point we were very close to him and before we could grab him he took off again. At that point I lost sight of Jeffrey and Charlie.
Franticly I started running around the blocks yelling for Jeffrey and Charlie. While yelling I was asking God to help me.
I turned a corner and there was Jeffrey walking with a woman who had Charlie on a tight leash. My heart stopped for a moment and relief flooded my body.
When I regained my composure, I could not thank her enough for bringing Jeffrey and Charlie home. We brought Charlie into the house and put him into his cage where he slept for most of the day.
Jeffrey and I were a total mess. We sat and thanked God for sending us an Angel.
The important lessons we learned were to always close the garage door before taking Charlie’s leash off and how to walk Charlie so we are in control not him.
During this experience I looked fear in the face and kept moving forward. If for a second I let the fear take over I would not have been able to keep my hope alive.
Praying is a form of meditation that clams you down and restores your faith that things will work out.
What experiences have you had in which prayers restored your faith that things will work out for the best.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Helen
“…be the change
you wish
to see in
the world..”
~ gandhi
I was thinking before writing on my blog today, “Holidays can be a very painful time.” Having expectations the holidays will be fun, relaxing and receive the love and support we crave from others.
Hello, guess again. What reality usually dictates is that we are busy shopping, running around to beat the clock and annoyed with people in general.
What happened to our holiday expectations? Down the drain!
We don’t realize that not having our expectations become reality we subconsciously become angry and instead of enjoying the holidays they become a burden.
As Gandhi says,” Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Take a step back and rearrange your thinking and schedule.
Let me tell you a little story.
I was out shopping for gifts the other night and everything I picked up was just not right for the person I was thinking about. After walking around the mall for over an hour I decided to stop for a cup of coffee and go home.
Listening to the people on line behind me complaining about the holidays made me realize I was doing the same thing.
I started to think of what could I do differently?
I found a bench and just rested for awhile drinking my coffee. The idea popped into my head to ask my grandchildren for a wish list. Then I could have some direction and buy what they really wanted.
I went home, called each grandchild and asked them to give me a wish list of only 3 things. The older ones wanted to spend a day in NYC with me or just go out for dinner. The others gave me their choices. It made my life so much easier and I had a happy memory speaking with each and everyone of them about the holiday season.
What can you do to make this season a little easier, create memories and enjoy yourself?
Please share your ideas with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. I look forward to reading your comments.
Helen
“Difficult Times
Don’t Last Forever
Sometimes, the problems you must face
are more than you wish to cope with,
and tomorrow doesn’t seem to offer any solutions.
You may ask yourself “Why Me?”
but the answer is sometimes unclear.
You may even tend to feel that life hasn’t
been just or fair to burden you with such obstacles.
The roads any of us choose to follow are never free
of bumps or curves, but eventually the turns
lead to a smoother path ahead.
Believe in yourself and your dreams.
You will soon realize that
the future holds many promises for you.
Remember…difficult times don’t last forever.”
Geri Danks
Does the quote above sound familiar are you constantly asking, “Why Me?” Some days can be harder than others and the amazing thing life goes on while we are looking for a job.
Finding what gives you a sense of security is the secret of surviving the days before you. Some small steps you can take to reassure yourself are below.
Small Steps
1. Get out of bed, look in the mirror and reassure yourself you are still the same person. Most times our identity became our job. Speaking with others we always spoke about our job and what happened that day. Now things have changed and we are lost. By looking in the mirror and reminding yourself you are still the same person helps build confidence.
2. Plan your day. Having structure in your day gives us a sense of power and control. Just floating around doing whatever is before us we often feel nothing is being accomplished. It is very important that we feel things are being accomplished to give us strength to continue looking for that special job.
3. Take a mini-vacation. A mini-vacation is taking at least 10 minutes a day just for you. Taking that time reinforces the fact you are important. Mini-vacations can be making yourself a cup of coffee or tea and reading a fun novel; take a walk around the block; listen to a comedy CD that makes you laugh; etc…
You are in control of your day and can choose to either focus on “Why Me?” or take tiny steps to brighten your day.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community what tiny steps you are taking to ensure your day is productive while looking for a job.
I look forward to hearing from you and let me know how I can support you while looking for a job.
Helen
Hi Everyone:
We are only 10 clicks away from reaching 10,000. Who will be the lucky person to recieve a free coaching session?
Helen
Life is a Labyrinth
Labyrinths have existed in virtually every period in history and most cultural communities for 3500 years. A labyrinth is an ancient symbol of wholeness. Also, a sacred tool viewed as a metaphor for life’s journey.
The ancient and powerful tool is unicursal, offering only one route to the center and back out again. Walking the labyrinth you meander through each of the four quadrants several times before reaching your goal. The labyrinth offers you lessons as you walk the path and can assist you in addressing challenges, meditate, pray and find peace and serenity.
While visiting the New Age Health Spa in Neversink, New York, I walked along the Labyrinth different paths.
When I first arrived at the Labyrinth it looked like the skies would open up and pour with rain. Not letting the rain stop me, I started walking and thinking about what was happening in my life. As I kept walking it seemed the middle was so far away even though it was in sight.
After awhile the only thing I was focusing on was getting to the middle before it started raining. Kept walking, at one point I tripped and got back up. All of a sudden it hit me, walking along the different paths, is like our life’s journey. We keep reaching for goals, sometimes falling backwards and always keep going even though they seemed so far away.
Eventually, I reached the middle, stayed a few seconds and turned to leave. It was like I reached my goal and what was next. The walk back was quick and the rain held off until I got back to the cafeteria.
Working with unemployed clients I realized they are walking a Labyrinth. Some prospects lead to interviews, new jobs and others to dead ends. My clients sometimes fall, get back up and keep walking along the different paths until they reach their goal.
Today is a new day and the beginning of your walk on the labyrinth. Take that first step with a new belief that the different paths will eventually lead to your goal of finding a job.
Keep creating and thinking about new possibilities that are on the horizon.
Good Luck!
The Love Yourself – It Matters Community is working together to support each other in this challenging time. If you know of anyone who is on this journey please tell them about the Love Yourself – IT MATTERS! Blog
Please join me in writing your tips on how to motive yourself, make life easier and able to smile at the end of the day. I am looking forward to reading your tips on this blog.
“One of the things I learned the hard way was
that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged.
Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life
can restore your faith in yourself.”
Lucille Ball
Waking up this morning it hits like a lead balloon, I no longer have a job. What am I going to do?
Not minimizing the situation you have a choice either to enjoy your day or go deeper into that black hole. You might ask yourself, “Come on Helen I have no choice.” My mind keeps thinking: I am not working…not making money…feel like a failure…really scared, etc., etc. These thoughts are natural and with a little practice you can change them.
Instructions for changing your thinking:
• Thought, “I will never find a new job.”
• Stop and say to yourself out loud, “Thanks for helping me!”
• Wait a second and say, “There is a chance I could find a new job.”
• Close your eyes and visualize yourself receiving a call with a job offer.
Changing the thought to a happy outcome gives you hope. When we feel hopeful things are not discouraging. The sun shines and we can see new possibilities.
With this new perspective you have a better chance of enjoying your day and discovering ways to find that perfect new job.
Put a smile on your face and say out loud, “Watch out world here I come.”
Enjoy your day!!!
Helen
Please let us know how you are doing. The Love Yourself – It Matters Community is here to support you in anyway we can.
There are Circles of Inspiration forming to support you in setting clear goals and taking quick action steps in finding well paying, inspiring work again. Check out the Love Yourself Website www.loveyourselfcoaching.com to find out about the Circles of Inspiration.
“Sometimes things which at the moment may be
perceived as obstacles – and actually be obstacles,
difficulties, or drawbacks – can in the long run result
in some good end which would have occurred
if it had not been for the obstacle.”
Steve Allen
Reading this quote you might think to yourself how losing my job can be a good thing? I cannot find another job, working hard to keep my spirits up, and the worst part having no place to go.
What is a person do?
Yes, you might feel sorry for yourself and it is your right as a human being to have these feelings. You had a traumatic experience and need time to recover. This is a difficult time for you and everyone meaning well gives you advice which they feel you should follow right away.
As they say time heals all and with taking steps to adjust to your new life you will create a new normal. Prior to losing your job your normal was to spend at least 8 hours a day at work. Now you spend those same 8 hours worrying about your new lifestyle.
I have been working with Mary, a client who just 10 months ago had a job and was worrying about not being able to lose weight. Two months later she learned that the division she was working for had plans to layoff 70 people. Not feeling threatened she went to work every day and as time went on learned she was one of the 70 being targeted.
Her first response, how could this happen to me, I am a great worker and received excellent reviews. They probably made a mistake, will call me back into the office to let me know how sorry they were for making a mistake and they want me to stay. This scenario never happened.
We continued working together and changed our focus. The first object was for Mary to adjust to her new normal. Create a plan that would make her feel safe again and research ways to start the job search.
During this period, Mary implemented the following steps:
• Every morning upon rising she would follow her normal routine of getting dressed and making sure the children were at the bus stop on time. This sense of routine gave Mary and her children a sense of comfort that nothing was wrong.
• Followed her exercise program. Exercising gave her strength to go on and a feeling she was taking care of herself.
• Researched different job opportunities. This action gave Mary the feeling she was doing something in finding a new job.
• Attended networking events for jobseekers. Meeting other people in the same situation gave Mary the feeling she was not alone. They supported each other with resume writing, interview role playing and keeping each other optimistic.
• Preparing dinner for the family every evening and spending time with her children and husband. Created a feeling for everyone that life was continuing and they did not have to worry about what was going to happen.
Taking these initial steps on a daily basis gave Mary the courage and strength to continue her job search. She continually stepped out of her comfort zone, learned new things about herself and within time Mary was offered two different jobs which would be considered a promotion from her previous job.
So as Steve Allen quote states, sometime obstacles can in the long run result in a opportunity which would never have occurred if you did not experience the lose.
If you are among the unemployed and need support please let us know by leaving a response in the comment box. Remember the Love Yourself – It Matters Community is to here to empower you during your journey.
Many unemployed people are reading this blog and by sharing tools you have found can help others. Together we can make this journey a little easier and within time everyone will be working.
If you know of anyone who is traveling the unemployed journey please tell them about the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog. Together let’s help make their life a little easier.
Helen
Helen
“To be upset over what you don’t have is to waste what you do have.”
Ken Keyes, Jr.
As human beings, we are wired to automatically focus on what we don’t have, instead of thinking about all the gifts we are constantly receiving.
What is a person to do?
In my group coaching circles, I have been working with women who have joined the roles of the unemployed. At first they are relieved the horror of not knowing is over. Then comes the trauma of being displaced, feelings of failure and anxiety of never being able to find another job.
It is understandable they feel this way. Women, for most of their adult lives rise in the morning, get dressed and leave for work. Come 9:00am and they have no place to go.
It has been suggested to rise at your regular time, get dressed and start researching job options. Who are they kidding?
I have been working with my clients to create a plan they feel comfortable implementing. By having a goal and taking small steps, builds their comfort level and sense of fulfillment.
Each person has their own needs and agenda. What will work for one person will not necessarily work for someone else.
However, here are 7 basic steps that can work for all of us:
1. Eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner
2. Wear clothes that make you feel good
3. Practice good hygiene
4. Exercise daily, even if you just take a walk around the block
5. Only focus on two or three steps a day. Otherwise your steps will become overwhelming and in all probability you will not accomplish anything
6.Join a support group
7.Take a daily mini-vacation – take 10 minutes a day to do something just for you. Examples: Just sit in a chair and relax; take a walk; read a book.
Be aware of the new opportunities that are presenting themselves to you daily.
I once heard a great quote: “When one door closes, it is hell waiting in the hallway, so pull up the shade and look out the window.”
Good Luck!
Learn how you can get support while being unemployed. The previous article is a flyer for the Circle of Inspiration for the Unemployed. Come join us or pass the flyer on to anyone you know that is unemployed and looking for support.
The Love Yourself – It Matters Community is forming a support blog for the unemployed in their time of need. If you know of anyone who is on this journey please tell them about the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog.
Please join me in writing your tips on how to motive yourself, make life easier and able to smile at the end of the day. I am looking forward to reading your tips on the Love Yourself- It Matters Blog.
“How to find the perfect job so that you can feel self-assured, make money and be happy again”
Join the Circle of Inspiration; a group for professional women who are recently unemployed, who want to connect with smart individuals, and find the job of their dreams.
See you in the Circle, next session starts, July 6, 2009
Who is leading the Circle of Inspiration?
Helen Burton, CEC, ACC, founder of Love Yourself Coaching, has been leading circles and mastermind groups for seven years. As an expert group leader, Helen has helped many individuals gain the confidence needed to be a successful professional. For more information about Helen, visit her on the web at LoveYourselfCoaching.com.
What does the Circle of Inspiration do?
The Circle coaches unemployed, professional women to set clear goals and take quick action to finding well paying, inspiring work again.
Can you commit to 30 Minutes a week?
A weekly phone call is all it takes to meet up with the Circle. Each member will set their intention for the week, receive laser coaching and agree to steps to accomplish their next objective.
Here is an example of how the Circle works:
Claire’s goal for the week is to brush up on her interview skills. Claire agrees to the following action items:
• Prepare a brief, interesting summary about her work experience.
• Email a member of the Circle, a compelling list of distinguishing skills set that would be valuable to an employer.
• Role-play an interview with a few Circle Members.
Avoid simple mistakes!
Looking for employment, in this uncertain economy, is not an easy task on your own. After contributing to the household income for many years, women are concerned about how they will pay for their kid’s education or meet other expenses, now that they are temporarily unemployed.
Brainstorming and sharing ideas with smart, experienced professionals, creates a unique environment for women who are feeling anxious, frustrated or unmotivated about looking for their next job. Don’t look for a job alone, it’s much easier when you have help and encouragement.
Stay Fresh! The Circle is the perfect resource to stay current about researching your next job opportunity. Let the Circle help empower you.
Be accountable. It’s easier to succeed when you are surrounded by helpful, positive professionals who provide you with immediate feedback to help you to stand out among the crowd!
Who should join the Circle?
• Unemployed professionals
• 15 years or more of corporate experience
• Feeling anxious about being unemployed
• Want an easy and affordable way to connect with other women professionals
• You are a consistent wager earner
Circle Testimonial:
“I feel very fortunate to have Helen Burton coaching me through this difficult period of unemployment. Helen has a unique ability to help me move forward professionally. She helps me to draw on my past successes in order to set concrete and realistic goals for myself. Through her uplifting coaching methods, I have become a much more confident and proactive professional.
I am extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to work with such gifted career coach.”
Lyn Cleary Barrington, RI
Share this flyer with your friends.
The Circle is affordable! $49 a month.
Join! Become a member of the Circle! Email Helen at: helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net
“We have all been placed on this earth
to discover your own path,
and we will never be happy
if we live someone else’s
idea of life.”
James Van Praagh
What a powerful quote! How easy to live someone else’s idea of life. We don’t have to make choices or take a risk. The only problem we lose our identity and are sometimes filled with resentment.
Questioning who we are and what the purpose of our life are the hidden agendas of our beings. We have a drive within to feel good about ourselves and accomplish activities that make us excel.
Cheryl a very successful doctor married and has two grown children. She has been feeling her life has no meaning. Her children are both married have children of their own and are busy with their lives. Cheryl resents the fact she only hears from them if they need something. This is her perception.
She has lived her life through her children and husband. It does not matter she is a very successful doctor with patients who absolutely love her.
Asking Cheryl about her practice she dismisses it and says, “It is no big deal, my husband and children are more successful than me.”
What is wrong with this picture??
This opinion is not limited to women only, men also have the misconception if their partner makes more money they are more successful in their eyes.
What is success??
We sometimes are under the misconception that if a person makes more money they are successful. This idea is farther from the truth.
Success is what makes us feel good and a sense of accomplishment. Living our own life gives us this sense of fulfillment.
Working with Cheryl, she started discovering what a beautiful and successful person she had become. Today Cheryl acknowledges her special gifts, shares her life with others and feels content. What a beautiful gift she has given herself.
Some of the small steps Cheryl took to change her life perception:
• Everyday wrote in her “Me” journal what special gifts she were aware of that day.
• Took time to do nice things for herself at least once a week.
• Shared her ideas and dreams with her husband. This big, big step improved their relationship. Now they plan together.
• Invited her children to different events and let them know they were under NO obligation to accept the invitation. A miracle happened by giving her children an invitation with no pressure has opened a door of communication.
Living our own life and sharing it with others has given us a beautiful gift and freedom to accomplish our private dreams.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! blog community the experiences and miracles you have received while living your own life and sharing it with others.
Have a beautiful Memorial Day Weekend!!! Remember you are a special person and taking care of yourself with food and in stressful circumstances will give you the greatest gift possible.
Helen
Do you have a pet? I have two cats and their names are Alfie, a black cat with a white patch on his stomach and Alice who is white and grey with a pink nose. Both my cats have different personalities. Alfie is very loving and Alice considers herself a princess.
Both cats are teaching me how to love and accept love unconditionally. LOVE has always been easier for me to give then to receive. I’d much rather give someone a gift and watch them excitedly opened their present. On the other hand, when someone gives me a present, I feel embarrassed.
One day, Alice was sitting on my desk while I was writing my blog and just looking at me with love in her eyes (my interpretation). I realized how uncomfortable I felt having her stare at me. What I wanted to do was pet her and stop feeling uncomfortable. Instead, I made myself sit there and enjoy the moment.
That evening, I was out to dinner with a few friends and telling them how uncomfortable I felt when Alice was staring at me with love in her eyes. Others at the table started talking about their pets and how special they were in their lives. Some of the stories are as follows:
• Jay was taking a hike in the park with his dog. Suddenly he tripped over a tree branch and fell. His dog, Spike, laid down next to him and started barking until someone came running to see what was happening. The man checked to see if Jay was alright and called 911. Jay had broken his ankle and now is perfectly fine. Spike is Jay’s hero.
• Chris told us how her cat, Sadie, always sits on the floor next to her while she is working on the computer. Chris is a technical writer and sometimes experiences writers block. Sadie being there gives her moral support to continue working.
Accepting the gift of love, even from a pet, enriches your life in the following ways:
• Feeling of being wanted
• Creates intimacy
• Sense of importance
• Ability to return the love
• Supported in many ways
I would love to hear your pet stories. Please send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net or leave them in the comment section.
Heleen
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