Posts Tagged ‘love yourself’
Most people automatically focus on what is not going right in their lives instead of the ordinary blessings occurring everyday.
We are bombarded by the drama shown in the movies, news and television. We become addicted to the excitement. Naturally we look for the drama in our lives to satisfy that addiction.
Look at your everyday ordinary activities, taking the garbage out, going to work, cooking meals and driving carpools. We take these activities for granted.
What would happen if one day we were unable to perform these ordinary tasks? At first, most of us would be grateful for a few days off and then reality would set in. Not being able to perform our usual activities creates a sense of lose.
One step you can take is start expressing your gratitude for the ordinary things in your life.
You might ask yourself, “It sounds like a good idea and not an easy thing to accomplish.”
Below are some ways you can make the transition:
• Watch the sun rise or set and express to another person how beautiful the sky looked.
• Tell your partner before going to sleep 3 things that made you happy during the day.
• Say a pray thanking the Universe for the little things in your life.
• Taking the garbage out put a smile on your face and feel the joy for doing this little task.
Expressing joy for the ordinary things in life brings you satisfaction and happiness. What a simple gift we can give ourselves that produces such meaningful results.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community the ordinary in your life and how these activities make you happy. Together we can support each other in making changes that will make us happy and bring serenity in our lives.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Helen
“The elevator to success is out of order.
You’ll have to use the stairs…
one step at a time.”
Joe Girard
Are you someone who thinks, “Why aren’t I more successful at losing weight, building my business or finding a perfect partner?” WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE!!
Most of us want things to happen instantly and when it doesn’t our minds start thinking what is wrong with me or it will never happen.
Just a thought, maybe focus on the small steps we are taking to reach our goal instead of thinking everything is so hard.
Sheila was struggling with her weight and felt defeated most of the time. Every time she got on the scale the number either got larger or stayed the same.
What was a woman to do?
Sheila could continually focus on the fact of not losing weight or think about what she was learning in the weight control process.
I know it is sometimes hard to change our mindset. With a little practice we can slowly start thinking in a different way.
Sheila’s mindset changing process:
• Listed daily some of the small steps she was taking to reach her goal.
o A big breakfast helped her feel satisfied during the morning. She no longer focused on being hungry and was able to concentrate on her job.
o Exercised in the morning helped increase her energy. The feeling of being tired all the time disappeared.
• Held a rock in her hand every time she wanted to eat and told herself, “I am beautiful and the food is not going to help me feel better.” This little exercise helped Sheila walk away from the food many a time.
Practicing these two small steps helped Sheila feel good about herself and in time the weight started to disappear.
Let’s keep the Out of Order sign on the elevator and continue to use one step at a time. It is a blessing in disguise.
Please share your thoughts about keeping the elevator Out of Order and using one step at a time to reach your goals.
Helen
“It is good to have an end to journey towards;
but it is the journey that matters in the end.”
Ursula LeGuin
When we have a dream, goal or idea burning to be accomplished our focus is on achieving it. Ideas pop into our heads and as we start taking action steps our enthusiasm is pretty high. Then life steps in and things happen to slow us down or you become discouraged.
Welcome to the human race!
As Ursula LeGuin, states in the quote above, it is good to have a goal, but what matters are the steps you are taking and your attitude.
Reaching your goal is like playing a game of cards. At first the cards are shuffled, this is the time you are brainstorming, evaluating and researching ideas. Dealing the cards, you are creating an action plan that works for you. Playing the game, you are taking action steps. Someone wins the game, you reached your goal. Everyone throws in their cards, you start thinking what’s next.
As you can see, the successes are achieving your action steps instead of reaching your goal. Most people when they reach their goal start thinking what is next.
This can be a good thing. It enables us to keep growing and become the successful person we have always wanted to be.
I am your Fairy God Mother and will grant you any wish you desire. Take your time thinking about it.
Play the game of cards by brainstorming, creating an action plan, taking the action steps and reaching your goal.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your goal, action steps and how it felt when you achieved the small steps in reaching your goal.
Find love in yourself
in taking time for you
in celebrating your special gifts.
Find love in your family
in acknowledging each other
in telling each other, “I love you.”
Find love in friendship
in sharing and supporting one another
in knowing you are not alone.
Find love in conversations with others
in listening and learning
in contributing ideas.
Find love
in sharing YOU
with others.
The poem above represents the meaning of love for me. It has taken me many years to realize what is important in life and what is not. What I have learned is that everyday is a new beginning and by respecting me and sharing with others, I find love.
I invite you to spend time thinking about the word, “love” and what special meaning it has for you. Please leave your comments on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog and together let’s create a new meaning for the word, “love”.
“It’s easy to have faith in yourself and
have discipline when you’re a winner,
when you’re number one.
What you got to have is faith and discipline
when you’re not a winner.”
Vince Lombardi
Reading Vince Lombardi’s quote makes you stop and think wouldn’t life be much easier if I could have faith and discipline in myself all the time, no matter what was happening in my life.
You actually do have faith and discipline all the time even when times are challenging. During the hard times, most people are thinking about their problems and quite often ideas are popping into thier heads that could solve the challenge. By focusing on the problem you have faith that things will get better and the discipline to take action.
Terri was on the planning committee for her 25th Year Class Reunion. Her main goal was to lose 25 pounds before the reunion which was 8 months away.
She joined the Weight and Exercise Program at her local hospital. Mary met with the nutritionist and planned a diet that would work for her. Then she met with the exercise trainer who mapped out a plan for her.
The first month Terri did not deviate from the food plan, exercised everyday and to her amazement lost 8 pounds. Her faith in the program was at an all time high and also felt because she was disciplined with her routine the weight would continue to melt away.
The next month she continued following the plan and only lost 3 pounds. Terri lost interest in the program, started changing her eating habits and stopped exercising. You can imagine what happened, she started gaining the weight back.
Her faith and discipline took a vacation. One morning while getting out of bed she started thinking there has to be an easier way to lose weight. Her faith and discipline were returning!
While speaking with a friend about the fact she could not lose weight and did not want to attend the class reunion. A thought popped into her head if she cut her portions in half and exercised three times a week maybe she would lose weight.
Her friend offered to try the same plan. They decided to plan their meals together every evening and to exercise together on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Having support and a plan that worked for them both, a miracle happened, Terri and her friend lost weight.
Even though Terri was facing the challenge of not losing weight her thoughts enabled her to regain faith and discipline in herself again.
Please share your stories of when you were in a funk and your faith and discipline returned to help you find a solution to your problems. Sharing your empowering stories with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community helps us grow and make our lives easier.
Love Helen
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.
If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing,
it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it.
On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it,
I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it,
even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
Mahatma Gandhi
After reading the above quote a lot of ideas popped into my head. I have often heard it said, “Your thinking creates your outcome.” Therefore, if you live by this golden rule, think positive and things will always turn out okay.
Now let’s become real and with all our positive thinking circumstances happen in our lives that cause hardships. For instance, you were at a conference all weekend and came home to find a flood in your basement. With all the positive thinking the water would not disappear in the basement.
However, if you took steps to fix the leak, clean up the water and basement you are on your way of solving the problem. What this situation is demonstrating you have to think positive and take action at the same time.
Karen, a busy executive with a large company felt that everything was working in her life except the fact she could not stop binging at night. She tried everything from attending different diet support groups, therapy, making herself think positive thoughts and getting into bed at 6:00pm. Nothing worked!
She felt what is wrong with me? I have a great job, beautiful family and loving husband. Still I can’t stop stuffing food into my mouth at night.
What was she to do?
Karen met me one day at a networking meeting and after our brief discussing we started working together. During our first session Karen realized thinking positive thoughts alone would not change the circumstances. She had to start taking action to get a different result.
We continued working together, creating a tailored action plan through trial and error, that worked for her. Within a short period of time Karen saw amazing results and the binging at night finally stopped.
What Karen did differently?
• Allowed herself to have a small snack before going to bed at night. She looked forward to the snack and did not feel deprived.
• Spent an hour each night playing games and laughing with her husband and children. Enjoying this time with her family, Karen did not think of food.
• Keeping a journal tracking her progress and actions for challenging situations. The journal helped Karen see in black and white what worked and what didn’t.
• Drinking a cup of tea and eating a piece of fruit at 3:00pm everyday. Taking the time to eat a snack satisfied Karen’s hunger and prevented her from grabbing food when she walked into the house.
• Taking time for herself each day. Treating herself special enhanced her self-confidence and made Karen feel special.
Now It Is Your Turn
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community how positive thinking and small action steps have enhanced your life. We are all in this together and by sharing our experiences helps us all to live a more empowering and happy lifestyle.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Helen
“Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
Wow!! Wouldn’t life be beautiful if we could simply live this way?
Aren’t you waking up every morning and thinking today is going to be a special day? I am going to eat healthy, exercise, laugh at my silliness, appreciate people and enjoy every moment of the day? For most of us, the answer, “NO” is loud and clear.
Okay, guys let’s turn this perception around and see how we can bring a little happiness and sunshine into our lives.
Let’s take a step back and see what small changes we can make in our lives. Nothing too hard!
Thinking about how we can take a small step instead of move mountains, I thought of the following suggestions:
•Getting out of bed in the morning, take big steps to the bathroom while saying out loud in a quite voice, “Today is going to be a special day.”
•Look in the mirror and say in a quite voice, “You are so lucky.”
•Compliment someone who is having a hard day.
•Laugh at yourself.
•Take a small risk and tell someone about it. You can leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog. We love celebrating with you.
Taking one of these small steps will definitely make an impact on your life. Remember you are the driver of your bus and can make any small changes you desire. Go for it!!
Please let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know about your brags and struggles, we are all in this together. Having each other as our support team enriches our lives and brings joy and happiness to each and everyone of us.
Make this day special!!
Helen
“Friendship with oneself is very important
because without it
one cannot be friends with anyone
else in the world.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Being your own best friend is the hardest accomplishment we will ever achieve in our lives. Do you sometimes think, “I would never want to be my own best friend?”
Relax, you are not alone.
It is so easy to have thoughts that will make us feel miserable and take the sail out of our winds. Why does this happen? Some of us were taught as children, don’t brag about your accomplishments because no one will like you.
Having no one like us could be the most tragic thing in our lives. Everyone wants to be liked even if our behavior sometimes does not indicate this feeling. We are all in conflict with wanting to be liked and protecting our ego.
What is a person to do?
Let’s stop now and take a bend in the road. It’s bragging time at the old homestead. Starting this moment put a smile on your face and think about three accomplishments you are proud of and want the world to know. Don’t worry no one will hear you.
How do you feel?
Excited and scared at the same time. It is only natural to feel this way and with practice your new behavior of acknowledging your accomplishments will feel acceptable.
Start slowly! Below are some easy steps you can take for becoming your own best friend.
• Standing in front of the mirror with your eyes closed say, “I am beautiful.” When you feel comfortable slowly open your eyes, look in the mirror and say, “Hi.”
• Closing your eyes at night before going to sleep, tell yourself, “I am my own best friend.”
• Write down in a special journal your accomplishments during the day and how you feel.
Taking the time to treat ourselves special increases our self-confidence, makes us happier and we are kinder to ourselves and others.
Remember treat my best friend, _____________ like the special person he/she has become.
Now It is Your Turn:
Please try one or all of the exercises above and let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know what miracles start happening in your life. It is bragging time at the old homestead.
Helen
Greatness comes not when things go always good for you,
but the greatness comes and you are really tested
when you take some knocks, some disappointments,
when sadness comes. Because only if you have been
in the deepest valley can you ever know how
magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard Nixon
While reading Richard Nixon’s quote what thoughts pop into your head? Are you thinking, why do I have to experience the knocks, disappointments, in order to feel magnificent?
Here we go again, “Life’s golden rules.”
What I have been learning from life’s journey, the road to a magnificent life is paved with joy, sadness and lessons learned. Sometimes we have to experience hardship to learn from our experiences. By growing and learning we begin to see life from a different perspective and our life changes.
What always comes to mind, an alcoholic saying he is a grateful for being an alcoholic. When I first heard this expression, I thought they were crazy. What they were actually saying was by being in a 12 Step Program they learned how to change their outlook and today their life is filled with miracles.
We all have a choice when experiencing distressing circumstances we can either continue feeling sorry for ourselves or search out solutions.
Most people are immediately thinking what can I do right away instead of taking the time to grieve the loss and acknowledge what happened. We are often in a state of shock.
I was working with a client who was told by her doctor to lose weight or she would have to start taking insulin shots. After hearing this news she wanted to stop eating completely and show everyone she could lose weight in a short period of time.
Her plan did not work.
Walking into the house she started eating non-stop. During her coaching session that afternoon we discussed her distressing news and a healthy approach for solving the problem.
Below are some of the small steps Ida took:
•When she felt bad to let the feelings flow.
•Each day take small steps.
First week:
Ate a healthy breakfast.
Made an appointment with a Nutritionist
Marched in place for a minute in front of the television.
Did something nice for herself
Second week
Followed a healthy eating plan
Exercised for 5 minutes a day
Made an appointment with an exercise trainer
Did something nice for herself
Additional Weeks
Followed a healthy eating plan
Followed an exercise program
Did something nice for herself on a daily basis.
Ida had been following this plan for awhile, lost 50 pounds and never needed to take insulin shots. By acknowledging the deepest valley and taking steps to change her perspective she eventually reached the highest mountain.
Now it is your turn:
What situation in your life would you like to change? The key is to acknowledge what happened, give yourself time to grieve and at the same time take a small step. What small easy step can you take that will make a difference?
Remember nothing hard or scary at first.
Love Yourself – It Matters! Community is here to support you in anyway. Please let us know how you are doing by leaving a comment on this blog.
Helen
Are you working toward a goal? Have you set a plan to meet that goal?
You have? Great!
Now… toss it.
That’s right, toss your plan right out the window.
“What’s this?” you ask? Has Helen, lost her marbles? Well, yes and no…
This may sound unusual but, in most cases, when we set a “PLAN” to meet a goal, it is typically, what I’d like to call a, ‘false start’.
Maybe you will recognize a ‘false start’ as I try to explain…
• You really want to loose weight. Before you can start watching the food you eat, you have to check your family calendar, (and your work calendar and your kids’ calendars…) to see when this plan will fit in your life.
• You want to create better relationships. You “plan” to buy a book and read it IN ITS ENTIRETY, before accepting an invitation that may offer you a new opportunity.
• You want to exercise more. BEFORE you can lace up a new pair of running shoes, you PLAN to listen to a 4 hour CD about the dos and don’t of getting in shape.
Now, before I continue…..THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with these steps.
Nothing wrong about doing some research or educating yourself.
The ‘PLAN’ breaks down when it takes much longer than needed or delays you from taking real action toward your goal.
My experience of helping individuals to effectively achieve their goals has helped me to immediately identify these ‘false-starts’. Clients typically are unaware of their seemingly good intentions. Having a good listener or coach, supporting you, is the best way to help you avoid this common issue.
And know this, we have all done this. Even me!
Helen’s SOLUTION:
Stop the false starts…they are nothing more than an excuse or excellent method of procrastination. Eliminate them all.
Breathe deep and promise yourself to take a small step TODAY. An example, “I will genuinely compliment someone for a job well done.”
Helen’s Incentive TIPS:
Like I said, I too, am guilty of many false-starts. This month I offer you some of my daily secrets for staying in action.
• Each Morning: Decide the small step you are going to take that day. Give yourself a beautiful gift of practicing the same step until you feel comfortable.
• During the day. Be aware of your accomplishments and lessons learned.
• At Night: Acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments and lessons learned.
Reminder: Review the lessons learned and adjust your small steps where needed. Work with a friend or join a support group so you receive and feel supported for each milestone accomplished.
Action Step: Now it’s your turn!
Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community be part of your support circle. Leave your comments on how ‘False Starts’ have stopped you in the past and what steps you take now to stay in action.
Helen
January 2009 is coming to an end, are you thinking, “I should have stayed on my diet and would have lost 10 pounds by now.” What happened?
Resolutions don’t work. We are human beings and have our own way of living our lives. Sometimes we are being kind to ourselves and then on the other hand being our own worst enemy.
Are you thinking that living your life without self-control is being kind to yourself or is it self-indulgence? There is a difference.
Self-indulgence is acting on our gratification of desire without thinking about consequences. Looking at a piece of cake and saying to yourself, “One piece won’t hurt” and then continue eating half the cake.
Self-kindness on the other hand is asking yourself first, “What consequences will occur if I act on my desire?” By choosing not to eat that piece of cake and taking a piece of fruit instead you are being kind to You. Once you start making choices which will empower you, your life becomes easier.
I guess your next question is how do I get started? This can be accomplished by taking a small step and with practice you will be making healthy choices without thinking about them.
The first step: before you take an action stop ask yourself, “Will this help or hurt me? Keep practicing this thought provoking step until you see yourself making different changes.
This is a topic I would like to continue exploring. Please let me know your thoughts regarding self-indulgence vs. self-kindness. Together we can create a way for each and everyone of us to practice self-kindness instead of self-indulgence.
I look forward to hearing from you.
“Every small positive change
we make in ourselves
repays us in confidence
in the future.”
Alice Walker
Most of us walk through our day focusing on things that are upsetting instead of ways to change our circumstances. All we have to do is take one small step to change our thinking.
I was away for the weekend and came home to find a flood in my basement. Normally I would have gone into panic mode. Instead I moved all the boxes and exercise equipment onto the dry area. Called my neighbor to borrow his dry-vac and vacuumed up the excess water.
Feeling exhausted I was proud of myself for living in the solution instead of panicking over the situation.
What can you do differently to make a small positive change to reward yourself with confidence? You may think, “I can never change my situation.”
I heard a statement the other day that I am repeating over and over again, “If I believe I will see possibilities. So instead of thinking nothing will change just keep saying, “If I believe I will see possibilities” and see what happens.
Are you ready for the small change that will build your self-confidence? Following is a simple action plan that will make you happy.
1. Ask yourself, “What is brothering me right now?
Example: My favorite jeans won’t fit anymore.
2. Will thinking about the situation make it better?
Answer: No.
3. What is something I can do that will make me happy?
Example: Wear my favorite shirt.
4. Make the small change that will make me feel confident.
Example: Take an apple instead of eating a donut.
When you continue taking small positive changes in your life the rewards are countless.
Try the above exercise and let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community know how your confidence is rising.
If you need support please let us know by leaving a comment on the blog and we will brainstorm ideas together.
What are you doing nice for yourself Today?
Helen
It’s January!
Have you already whispered quietly to yourself, “This year will be different; I will keep my New Year’s Resolutions and achieve my goals?”
Before you answer … let me share something interesting with you.
Doug Vermeeren (www.douglasvermeeren.com) writes about resolutions. He teaches us that, “The Traditional goal-setting formula most people follow was developed in the early 1900s in manufacturing to enable company executives to monitor the number of units coming out of a factory by a certain date. It’s a great measuring stick if you’re manufacturing products, but if you are trying to improve yourself or achieve something non-tangible, it’s a woefully ineffective and out-of-date process. For example, if your goal is to have a better relationship with your spouse, the traditional goal-setting formula simply won’t work.”
After reading this article, it’s no wonder so many of us become discouraged when our plans to change a behavior(s) does not work out.
What can we do differently?
For starters, we can accept the truth that changing a habit takes practice.
Here are some of my secrets for changing a tough habit:
1. Focus on the new habit one day at a time. Example: Only for today you will eat a healthy breakfast. If you go back to your old habit of just grabbing a cup of coffee, Stop! Acknowledge what you have done and prepare a bowl of cereal for yourself.
2. Seek support from a friend, family member or a professional. Together you can accomplish more with a team effort than alone. Celebrate after you have taken that small step.
3. Be kind to yourself if you slip. As my mother used to say, “Rome was not built in a day.” It takes time to change our habits.
4. Practice, practice and practice some more.
In a nut shell: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your small steps of accomplishment.
Action Step: Now it’s your turn!
What habits have you changed in the past? Do you have a tip that works well for you? Share it with everyone in the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community by leaving a comment on the blog.
If you are struggling with food and have questions please leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters Blog and I will address them in my next article.
Helen
Greetings!
What happened? It was just July and I was coming home from my daughter Mindi’s IronMan Event in Lake Placid? Now it is December and we are busy preparing for another holiday season.
Life does have a way of flying by…
Before we turn the calendar, I want to thank all of you for being in my life and supporting our Love Yourself Coaching Groups. It has been a pleasure to create group programs that are meaningful and life changing for so many people.
• We have over 50 members in the Coaches’ Coaching Circle (Circle). The members of the Circle are getting paid for their coaching hours, earning ICF certification hours and they are creating new friendships. If you are an experienced coach and would like to join us, please send me an email and we’ll get you enrolled.
• There is a new Circle for coaches who have recently graduated or enrolled in a coaching school. The members are mentored, coached and practicing their coaching skills with an experienced coach. The program is rapidly growing. If you are a new coach, looking for ways to strengthen your coaching skills, this is the perfect circle for you. Please join us.
• The Monday Wake-Up Calls are helping the participants reach their weekly goals. Everyone in the group has become accountable for their action steps and benefiting from learning from the group’s different perspectives. The group has accomplished many rewarding goals. Contact me if you would like to learn more about how you can become efficient in obtaining your goals.
• Get Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round clients are changing their behaviors, thinking and losing weight. I feel privileged to work with this group and watching how they are able to transform their outlook towards food. If you are tired of wishing you could loose some weight, try this successful program.
Most importantly, I want to thank all of you who have helped me through this year without my best friend and husband, Bob. Life can sometimes be difficult and with all the support I am receiving it makes it easier.
My special wish for you is to enjoy the holidays without any stress. As a gift to you, I have created a short video as a reminder to treat yourself with love.
Please take some time out to relax and watch a brief (under 2 minutes) video by clicking this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBxaeqrQoMM
Enjoy!
Wishing you a holiday season sprinkled with happiness, love and abundance!
Helen
“Faith is taking the first step
even when you don’t
see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Reading the above quote by Martin Luther King, Jr. points out by taking that first small step without planning how you will accomplish your goal is exhibiting faith in yourself.
Having faith and continuing to take small steps you will automatically reach your goal.
Ida’s Office Christmas Party was in two days and she wanted to lose 20 pounds before the party. The frustrating thought of knowing she could not lose the weight in two days made her angry at herself. Instead of eating healthy low calorie foods she binged on the cookies and cakes everyone brought into work. Not only was Ida self-sabotaging herself she was gaining more weight. Can you identify with this situation?
I am sure everyone at one time in their life could identify with this situation. What could Ida have done differently? As Martin Luther King, Jr. suggests have faith things will work out and take that first step towards your goal.
Thinking about Ida’s situation below are some of the steps Ida could have taken instead of binging on the cookies and cakes.
• Check her closet to find an outfit she felt comfortable wearing. Buying a new sweater or blouse will make a world of difference.
• Make a beauty parlor appointment and have her hair restyled.
• Chose to eat a healthy breakfast. At the next meal chose to eat a healthy lunch. Continue this pattern throughout the day.
• Plan not to eat any cookies or cake until after the office party.
• Arrange to sit with her friends at the party.
• After the party call her phone and leave a message acknowledging herself for who she has become this year.
Now it is your turn to try this experiment. Please let the Love Yourself –It Matters Community! know if taking one of the steps above made a difference when attending a holiday party. Remember all it takes is having faith and taking small steps to reach your goal.
Are you finding it hard to enjoy the holidays? See if my brief video helps you,
Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBxaeqrQoMM
Enjoy!
Helen
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