Uncovering Your Vision

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

~ Norman Vincent Peale

Reading Norman Vincent Peale’s quote made me realize what power we have. The choice is ours—either we can feel disillusioned or powerful and creative. Doesn’t that sound simple and so hard to accomplish?

Is your business taking a vacation during December? Clients are taking time off, and prospecting for new clients is an uphill climb. Here is your golden opportunity to take time for yourself and think about 2012!

We can let our emotions start dictating our lives when we fixate on such thoughts as we are not making much money this month, our business is not growing and we will have to find a new career. Or, on the other hand, we can feel excited about the extra time we have to do the things we want and plan for 2012. The choice is ours.

My choice is to embrace my power and start planning for 2012. This thought alone energizes me.

Steps to take in creating a powerful and rewarding 2012:

• Write yourself a letter describing your dreams and desires for 2012. Include all the aspects of your life—your business, vacations and new opportunities you would like to explore.
• Keep adding to the list for a few days. Our thoughts will keep multiplying when we give ourselves the freedom to be honest and not pass any judgment on our vision.
• When you feel your list is complete, create different categories for your ideas (business, vacations, social events, family and friends).
• Plug the ideas into the different categories. You will be amazed what thoughts surface. Congratulations, you now have your dream list. 
• Choose both a big and a small dream you would like to accomplish. Plan the two steps you will take this week for each dream. Remember, as my mother always said, “Rome was not built in a day.”

Taking time during this quiet time to plan for a powerful and rewarding 2012 is a beautiful gift you are giving yourself. ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Now It’s Your Turn

After completing the above exercise, please share your dreams and action steps with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. Sharing with each other creates support so miracles can start happening.

Let me tell you a little story. At a networking meeting last week, the facilitator requested that everyone in the room share their vision for 2012. When it was my turn, I shared that my vision was to support a nonprofit organization working with overweight children. Before I left the meeting, three people approached me with the names of specific nonprofit groups and contact information for people who are working with overweight children. By sharing your dream with others, miracles start to happen right away.

Let’s work together and support each other!

Helen

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Change Brings Happiness into Our Lives!

Change Your Thinking

“Things don’t change.
You change your way of looking, that’s all.”
~ Carlos Castaneda

When I read Carlos Castaneda’ quote it really struck me.  How we are always looking for our life to change and never take the time to change our thoughts. 

Castaneda suggests change the way you look at things.  EASIER SAID THAN DONE!

Let me tell you a little story… I am working with a client, who we call Fran.  Her business was steadily growing through the years.  One day she woke-up thinking her business was failing.  If things didn’t turn around quickly she was going to be bankrupt in a few months. 

When she called me, Fran was devastated and could not understand what happened.  Last month she did not feel this way, and was implementing new programs.  All of a sudden she was thinking about letting her team members go and maybe looking for a JOB. 

We discussed what was happening and looked at her business growth objectively.  After checking with her Accountant, Fran was surprised to learn that the profits this month were higher than last month.  What changed was her thinking.

Isn’t it amazing how we allow ourselves to cause suffering in our own lives.

Next time things are running smoothly and you want to shake up your life, implement the following steps.  This exercise also helps people who are facing real hardships in their lives.

• STOP take a deep breath and ask yourself the question, “Is what I am thinking right now, really true and nothing will ever change?”  By stepping back and examining the situation we start seeing our challenges from a different perspective and solutions start appearing. 
• Make an agreement with yourself not to think about your challenge for today.  Every time the thought pops into your head tell yourself, I will think about it tomorrow.  Miracles happen all the time so don’t waste your time worrying about something that can change in minutes.  There is an old saying, “Most circumstances we imagine never materialize.”
• Think of a time in your life when you were experiencing difficulties and within a short period of time everything turned around and your life was better than it was before.  This happens all the time and by visualizing what happened will give you strength and hope to continue. 
• Remind yourself constantly, that you are doing the best you can and the Universe is here to guide you.  
• Think happy thoughts at least once every thirty minutes.  By thinking these thoughts you will start changing your philosophy and a smile will appear on your face. 

As Castaneda says, “Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your thoughts about this blog post.  Together we will grow and experience joy in our lives. 

Helen

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Need Help from My Friends

If you aspire to the highest place,
it is no disgrace to stop
at the second or even
the third place.
~ CIERO, 106-43 BC
(Roman orator, statesman and essayist)

I can’t believe after all these years we are still receiving the same advice.  In one of Cheryl Richardson’s books she stated, “When planning your exercise program, always plan on a reasonable amount of miles you will walk each day instead of pushing yourself unrealistically.  For example plan on walking 2 miles a day instead of 4 and when you have walked the 4 miles imagine how good you will feel.  On the other hand, if you walked 4 miles it will even feel better.” I paraphrased what Cheryl had stated.
 
I have always taken this advice.  At first it was a challenge to post every day.  As time went on, I realized this was not in my best interest.  Some days I had other commitments and blogging was not an option.  By relaxing and not pushing myself so hard the blog posts improved.  More people sent me comments and my blog started attracting traffic.
 
After a few years, I started cutting back on posting articles and before I knew it days and weeks would go by before I posted an article. I have been in this slump for a long time.  Some thoughts for reversing this slump:

• The first thing in the morning before looking at my emails, at least twice a week, make myself a cup of coffee and write an article for the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog. 
• I am committing to the Love Yourself – It Matters Community that I will post at least twice a week.  This is very scary!
• Please send me emails after you read my post.  That way I will know people are reading what I write, which makes me feel more committed.
• Striving to be in third place it will give me an opportunity to celebrate. 

Please, please members of this community; I need your support and ideas so that I can move forward. 

Looking forward to hearing from you.
 
Helen

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Tips for Working with Clients Who Always Reschedule

All the strength you need
to achieve anything
is within you.
~ Sara Henerson

Question:  What steps do you take when a client constantly cancels their scheduled coaching sessions and wants to reschedule?
 
Answer:  The important thing to remember, this is not about you!  Following are some of the steps I take in determining whether we are a good match or the client is not ready for coaching or some situation has to be worked out:

• Email the client expressing your concern for their well-being and the importance of scheduling time to chat.
• Call the client on the day and time scheduled.
  • During the session always follow the client’s agenda.  NEVER, NEVER put them on the defensive or feel something is wrong with them.   
• Coach the client in discovering what is holding them back from moving forward.
• Coach the client in making a determination as to whether coaching is a good fit for them.
  • Always act as the coach and remember this is not about you.
• End the conversation in a positive and upbeat manner.

Sometimes I find the client is experiencing some blocks that are stopping them from moving forward.  Other times they are not ready for coaching and it would be in their best interest to see a therapist.  We are all human beings and at any one time we are journeying through different experiences.
  
Having these conversations usually enables the client and myself to discover what works best for both of us.  Taking a risk and communicating with others is always the best solution.
 
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community what plan works best for you when a client is always cancelling and rescheduling their appointments.  Let’s support each other in growing our businesses.

Helen

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Secret for Accomplishing Goals

Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen

What three things do you
want to accomplish this year?
Write them down and place them
on your refrigerator
for inspiration all year long.
~ Anonymous

I was flipping thru inspirational quotes to find the right one for today’s message.  When I came across the quote above, it made me think about what three things I wanted to accomplish in 2011.
 
The last 3 ½ months have flown by quickly.  My biggest accomplishment was writing and having a book published.  This was a longtime dream that after many attempts finally became a reality. The name of the book is Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen.
 
After celebrating the publication of the book, I kept thinking “What is next?” 
 
With time on my hands, I decided to think about the next three things I wanted to accomplish in the remaining 7 ½ months of 2011.  Below is the exercise that helped me discover my next three goals for 2011.  

1. Close your eyes and ground yourself by taking five deep breaths and releasing them.  When taking the breaths let the warm sunshine fill your body.  While releasing the breaths let go of your negative feelings and thoughts. 
2. Picture yourself just relaxing in your favorite spot.  Mine is sitting under a big tree feeling warm and cozy with a blanket wrapped around me.
3. Think about three things you would like to accomplish by the end of 2011.  They are only ideas and nothing is written in stone.  My ideas were:
   •  Celebrate with family and friends the publication of my book by having a big party and inviting everyone I know.
   • Facilitate a seminar, “Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen” in different coffee shops.
   • Get ready to move to the NJ Shore area.
4. Let all the thoughts and ideas disappear into the Universe. 
5. At the count of 5 open your eyes and sit quietly for a few minutes.
6. When ready write down all your ideas.
7. Chose which three goals you would like to accomplish by the end of 2011.  The three goals I chose are listed in step 3.

Now it is Your Turn:
 
Complete the exercise above to determine what three things you want to accomplish by the end of 2011.  Once you have determined which goals you would like to accomplish, “Write them down and place them on your refrigerator for inspiration all year long.”  Also, feel free to share your three goals for 2011 in the comment section of this blog.  Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community know what three things you would like to accomplish.  We are all here to support each other. 
 
Helen

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Do you find yourself walking through walls?

“There comes a time in a man’s life
when to get where he has to go
-if there are no doors or windows-
he walks through a wall.”
~ Bernard Malamud

Do you find yourself many times walking through walls?  Look at it this way, we are still moving forward.

This has been my pattern lately.  Nothing seems to be flowing easily.  I seem to be always pushing.  It takes a lot of energy and I am constantly tired.

What is a person to do?  There has to be a better way.

Let’s dissect this dilemma.  What is really going on?  The word that pops into my mind is “CONTROL” and not trusting the process.  Does this sound familiar?

It might sound crazy, but I find that “Control” gives me a sense of comfort. When I just let things happen in a way it is scary because it may not turn out the way I want.  When I am in this space I start to make lists, plan my every move and just control everything around me.  This kind of behavior is very taxing and tiring.

When you find yourself controlling everything relax and implement the following exercise:

• Sit in a chair where it is quiet, where no one is around to bother you.  It is amazing how peace and quiet gives you a sense of security.
• Take 5 deep breaths and just let yourself unwind.
• Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What am I afraid of?  Example: New clients will take advantage of my programs.
  • What is the worst thing that could happen?  Example: I will have to close my business.
  • What benefit could you receive from this happening?  Find something that lights my fire and makes me exciting again.  
  • What is really going on?  Example: My Company is thriving.
  • What can you tell yourself when your insecurities become apparent? “Just for today everything is running smoothly and trust the process.”  
• Take 5 deep breaths and just relax for a few minutes.
• When you are ready at the count of 5 opens your eyes.

What I learned from this exercise: When I find myself trying to control everything it is time to uncover what is going on. 

Now it is your turn!

Take the time to relax and complete the exercise above.  What did you learn?  Please share your thoughts with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

Helen

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Chosing Thoughts

As we go thru life having hundreds of thoughts a day, some positive and others negative. These thoughts help us move forward or stop us completely.

What I am learning is that I have a choice, either I can let my thoughts dictate my emotions or not. Today for example, I was thinking of putting the winter clothes away and taking out my summer things. I started thinking how my husband would help me transfer the clothes from the attic and I could not do it alone. All of a sudden I received a burst of energy and started transferring the clothes. Within an hour I was completely done.

If I would have listened to my thoughts I would have looked for someone to help me and felt sorry for myself. Instead started the project and the next thing knew I was done.

What have you been putting off doing because your thoughts have been telling you to get help or give up the idea? Following are some steps you can take to get started:

1. Schedule time to begin the project. Putting aside time to work on a project provides support so you get started.
2. Tell someone what your plans are. Letting them know what you are planning helps with motivation and keep your word.
3. Reward yourself when the project is completed. You can remind yourself while you are working that when finished you will receive a special gift. This motivates you to complete the project.
4. Acknowledge yourself for a job well done. Acknowledging yourself enforces our greatness.

What project are you planning to complete today? Taking some or all of the above steps will help you complete the project. Let me know how you make out.

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New Year’s Resolutions Do Not Work

Today is January 3, 2008 and almost every email I am receiving is about, “Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions and Achieving Your Goals.” Most of the articles report that our New Year’s Resolutions are forgotten within a short period of time.

An article written by Doug Vermeeren (www.douglasvermeeren.com) states, “The Traditional goal-setting formula most people follow was developed in the early 1900s in manufacturing to enable company executives to monitor the number of units coming out of a factory by a certain date. It’s a great measuring stick if you’re manufacturing products, but if you are trying to improve yourself or achieve something non-tangible, it’s a woefully ineffective and out-of-date process. For example, if your goal is to have a better relationship with your spouse, the traditional goal-setting formula simply won’t work.”

I realized after reading this information it is no wonder we become discouraged when the plan we devise to change our behaviors and habits does not work. What can we do differently?

Let’s take for example a mother wants to spend more time with her family at night instead of everyone doing their own thing. On New Year’s Day all the members of the Peach family sat around the kitchen table and discussed what each person would have to do each night so they could spend more time together. Their plan:

• Sally, mother, will help the children with their homework while dinner is cooking.
• Steve, father, will finish cooking the dinner when he gets home.
• Billy, 10 year old son, will walk the dog after everyone finishes eating.
• Susie, 7 year old daughter, will help her mother and father clean the kitchen after dinner.

When the kitchen was cleaned and Billy came back from walking the dog they played different board games and one night they worked on a 1000 piece puzzle. Everyone had a great time laughing and spending time together.

This plan worked for about two weeks and then everyone went back to their old routine of doing homework after dinner, taking forever to clean the kitchen and too tired to play any games.

What could they have done differently to ensure they would continue spending time together after dinner instead of going back to their old routine? The answer is to support each other in practicing this new behavior. An example: Susie had to finish a project which had to be done that night. Instead of the other family members doing their own thing they could have all worked together on the project and spent time together.

Changing a habit takes practice. We have our old habits for a very long time and changing them sometimes is hard work. The secret for changing a habit is to practice, practice, and practice the new behavior. Some steps you could take in changing your behaviors:

1. Decide what behavior you would like to change. Example: Pay my bills on time.
2. Determine what small steps you are going to take. Example: Schedule time in your calendar when you will pay the bills. This appointment is not to be changed.
3. If you want to revert back to your old behavior, think about the benefits of accomplishing the small step. Example: After paying your bills on time there won’t be any late charges for that month.
4. Seek support from a friend or family member. Together you can accomplish more with a team effort than alone.
5. Keep reminding yourself about your new behavior. Write it on a piece of paper and keep it in a place where you will see it all the time.
6. Celebrate after you have taken that small step.
7. Be kind to yourself if you slip. As my mother used to say, “Rome was not built in a day.” It takes time to change our behaviors.
8. Practice, practice and practice some more.

In a nut shell: Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions that are forgotten in a short period of time, change your behaviors by taking small steps, acknowledge your accomplishments, be kind to yourself, seek support and continue practicing, practicing and practicing the new habit.

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Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail
Empowerment Coach Offers Tips to Ensure Successful Commitments to Change

As 2006 draws to a close, millions of people are making their new year’s resolutions, promises they’ve resolved to keep in 2007. Yet, statistics show that the average time it takes a person to break a new year’s resolution is two weeks to one month.

According to Helen Burton, a certified empowerment and recovery coach, it isn’t stress, lack of motivation, lack of time, or a failure of willpower that results in breaking the commitments. “Most resolutions fail because support systems were not in place at the start,” she says.

Whether the outcome is weight loss, sobriety, reducing debt or becoming more organized, Burton suggests the first step is to survey the situation to understand your options. “Once you focus on the real goal at hand, you can easily break it down into mini-goals that are achievable.”

Burton is a certified coach who helps both addicts and their loved ones work through the pain and develop a plan for a purposeful future. She founded Love Yourself Coaching (www.loveyourselfcoaching.com) in 2001, to meet the ongoing need of empowering others to create healing and live better lives.

She offers the following tips to help provide the support to make any resolution an accomplished one:

1) Work on only one major goal at a time. “More than one resolution can be overwhelming, so just stick with one,” says the coach. “Practice the same tools and techniques over and over again until they become a habit before tackling other methods.”
2) Find someone you can rely on to keep you on track. ”Whether it’s a loved one, a friend, or a coach, find someone who cares enough about you to see you succeed,” says Burton. “Touch base with him or her weekly or more often, if needed, to keep you successful in achieving your goal.”
3) Schedule a meeting with yourself. Burton suggests giving yourself at least 30 minutes each week to reflect on the goal and find the direction you want to take.
4) Keep rewards small and frequent. “Large and distant rewards distract from the pleasure of achieving goals,” she says. “So give your self small gifts for every small goal you achieve.”
5) Celebrate every milestone. “We often see what we haven’t accomplished, rather than the steps that we have taken. Any effort or energy you give to what you haven’t accomplished will only slow you down,” she says. “Celebrate every accomplishment, keep the momentum going, and focus on today.”

For more information about Love Yourself Coaching, contact Burton at Helen@LoveYourselfCoaching.net.

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