Posts Tagged ‘self-confidence’
“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”
~ Mark Twain
If we could live our lives backward, imagine how much easier it would be to run a business! We would all have answers at our finger tips. There would be fewer struggles; and the money would come pouring in.
Unfortunately, life and business have twists and turns and we need to learn from these experiences. For most of us, when we started our businesses everything felt new and exciting; but as time passed, the excitement began to dwindle and frustration set in.
While there is no simple answer, this is a great time to take a personal inventory of your true desires and the path you want to follow. I’ve approached these crossroads many times and, after taking inventory, found myself moving in new directions.
For example, I have chosen to change my niche and work with different target markets. When I first started coaching my clientele consisted of women in transition; then people who were retiring. After a few years, my target market changed again, and I worked with individuals who wanted to get off the diet merry-go-round.
Then it changed again, and this time my niche found me. I became a coaches’ coach, and for the last 5 years coaches have been my primary clientele. My business has flourished and I have never been so creative.
Now It’s Your Turn!
This simple exercise is designed to help you discover your true business strengths and passion.
- Write your answers to the following questions:
- What do you love about your business?
- Describe your ideal client (professionals, teens, young mothers, etc.)
- List your strengths and skills.
- How are you being creative?
- What support will you need to promote your business?
- Outline the changes you want or have to implement.
- Read over your answers and highlight details that jump out at you. Include your ideal client, strengths and skills, along with the support you will need to grow your business, etc. These items will help you paint a picture of your new direction.
- Close your eyes and picture your business thriving.
- List the key ingredients for this success.
- Plan your first steps in creating, shifting, or expanding a successful and prosperous business.
- Discuss your findings and plan with the support of a coach, friend or mastermind group.
When your exercise is complete, please share your new business ideas with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community in the comment section below. Feel free to contact me at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net if you are experiencing difficulty in completing the exercise.
Working together, we will build thriving businesses!
Helen
Filed under Business Tips, Life Issues, Motivational Quotes
Tags:Achieving Goals, career, Coaches, Coaching, feeling empowered, positive thinking, self-confidence, solutions, struggles
Change Your Thinking
“Things don’t change.
You change your way of looking, that’s all.”
~ Carlos Castaneda
When I read Carlos Castaneda’ quote it really struck me. How we are always looking for our life to change and never take the time to change our thoughts.
Castaneda suggests change the way you look at things. EASIER SAID THAN DONE!
Let me tell you a little story… I am working with a client, who we call Fran. Her business was steadily growing through the years. One day she woke-up thinking her business was failing. If things didn’t turn around quickly she was going to be bankrupt in a few months.
When she called me, Fran was devastated and could not understand what happened. Last month she did not feel this way, and was implementing new programs. All of a sudden she was thinking about letting her team members go and maybe looking for a JOB.
We discussed what was happening and looked at her business growth objectively. After checking with her Accountant, Fran was surprised to learn that the profits this month were higher than last month. What changed was her thinking.
Isn’t it amazing how we allow ourselves to cause suffering in our own lives.
Next time things are running smoothly and you want to shake up your life, implement the following steps. This exercise also helps people who are facing real hardships in their lives.
- STOP take a deep breath and ask yourself the question, “Is what I am thinking right now, really true and nothing will ever change?” By stepping back and examining the situation we start seeing our challenges from a different perspective and solutions start appearing.
- Make an agreement with yourself not to think about your challenge for today. Every time the thought pops into your head tell yourself, I will think about it tomorrow. Miracles happen all the time so don’t waste your time worrying about something that can change in minutes. There is an old saying, “Most circumstances we imagine never materialize.”
- Think of a time in your life when you were experiencing difficulties and within a short period of time everything turned around and your life was better than it was before. This happens all the time and by visualizing what happened will give you strength and hope to continue.
- Remind yourself constantly, that you are doing the best you can and the Universe is here to guide you.
- Think happy thoughts at least once every thirty minutes. By thinking these thoughts you will start changing your philosophy and a smile will appear on your face.
As Castaneda says, “Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your thoughts about this blog post. Together we will grow and experience joy in our lives.
Helen
Filed under Business Tips, Coaches, Coaching, Life Issues, Motivational Quotes
Tags:Achieving Goals, Attitudes, career, Coaches, Coaching, feeling depressed, happiness, Living In the Moment, positive thinking, professional, Resolutions, self-confidence, solutions, Stress, struggles
Give yourself a special gift
“Every small positive change
we make in ourselves
repays us in confidence
in the future.”
~ Alice Walker
As we go through our day, we have a choice either to make changes in our thinking and behaviors or just ignore them. Sometimes it is easier to just ignore the changes instead of taking a risk. Choosing this road we somehow chip away at our confidence.
Give yourself a special gift and take a risk no matter how small. It will certainly enrich your confidence. My favorite step is to send someone an email congratulating them for their accomplishments. By sending the email we both feel good.
I was working with Tracy, a client, and she was moving ahead slowly in building her business. In-between our sessions Tracy would take small risks and experienced very little joy. Until one day during a session, while discussing the possibility of stepping out of her comfort zone she realized this was a difficult task for her.
Tracy lived life very cautiously after having experienced very difficult times in her past. Not only had she failed at two businesses the challenges from that situation robbed her of faith and self-esteem. Needless to say, her self-confidence was not very strong.
We talked about that being her past and today being a new beginning. What could she do differently to test the waters? We brainstormed many ideas and nothing actually felt comfortable. Her low self-esteem was growing stronger by the moment.
She decided to think about different ideas during the week and email me her thoughts. We then started talking about how she loved to run and was working with a group of teenagers. Instantly, Tracy started to get excited and realized by working with the teenagers she was stepping out of her comfort zone.
What we both learned from that situation is not to only focus on the risks you are taking in your business and to include your whole life.
An easy exercise to acknowledge yourself for the risks you are taking on a daily basis.
- At the end of the day take a few minutes to think about your day and what made you excited. Example: Called a client who I have not worked with for awhile and found out she was opening a Wellness Center. Her dream had finally come true.
- Take out your journal and write about the part you played in the situation and how you felt. Read through your writing and highlight your feelings. There is no right or wrong way of doing this exercise, just write what comes to mind. By expressing your feelings it brings to light what makes you happy or sad.
- Close your eyes and quietly think about other times you felt the same way. Thinking about other times in your life enables you to realize how you bring joy to others and yourself.
- Plan to schedule time to take advantage of these fun opportunities again.
Enjoy!
Share with the Love Yourself – It Matters Community what you learned by completing this exercise. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Helen
Within you right now is the power
“Within you right now is the power
to do things you never dreamed possible.
This power becomes available to you
just as soon as you can change your beliefs.”
~ Maxwell Maltz
What a strong quote! If you stop and think about the quote it definitely makes sense. How many times in your life after changing your beliefs do miracles start happening.
For the past six months I have been thinking how hard everything is in my life. My business has been growing at a slow pace and that nagging thought of being a widow has been getting to me. I have been living in the victim role for awhile.
I attended an iPEC Life Potential Training and my thinking did a 360 degree turn. I realized I was the creator of my choices. I could feel sorry for myself or celebrate my life. At that point, I decided to celebrate my life, my beliefs changed and miracles started happening.
Instead of focusing on my business’ growth, I started thinking about how Love Yourself Coaching was providing a service. Thinking about this new concept, out of the clear blue sky, the phone rang and it was from a client who I worked with a few years ago. She called to tell me how our coaching sessions changed her life and wanted to start working together again. This is one example of how Love Yourself Coaching is changing the lives of one person at a time. This situation strengthened my belief system.
Taking the following steps will assist you in changing your beliefs.
- Write down your beliefs about your business.
- Read through them and underline your positive beliefs
- List all your positive thoughts
- Pick one thought that jumps out at you
- Say the following affirmation each day after your first cup of coffee or tea
- I choose to believe that (your positive thought) is happening right now. Example: I choose to belief that my coaching practice is constantly helping small business owners create prosperous businesses while loving themselves.
Now It Is Your Turn
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your affirmation. By letting others know about your belief makes it a reality. At the same time the Universe will hear it and support you in making it real.
- Close your eyes and sit silently for a few minutes.
A thing of beauty
is a joy forever.
~ John Keats
Close your eyes and sit silently for a few minutes. Picture yourself sitting under a big tree smiling, and feeling relaxed. That is a thing of beauty!
We continuously have a choice to either feel good about ourselves or be our own worst enemy. Which one do you pick today? I choose to be kind to myself today!
I am sitting here with a smile on my face thinking about what I am going to do special for myself today. Below is my dream day.
- Think of happy thoughts all day and every time an unhappy thought pops into my head simply say, “No drama today.”
- Make myself a healthy and delicious breakfast. My favorite pancake recipe:
- ¼ Cup of Cottage Cheese
- 1 Egg
- ¼ Cup of uncooked Oatmeal
- 2 tbls. of water
- 1 Cup of Yogurt
- 1 Cup of Cut Up Fruit
Mix the cottage cheese, egg, oatmeal and water together. Pour the mixture into a frying pan and cook over a low heat. When pancake is cooked put it on a plate, add the yogurt and fruit. Enjoy!
- Work for half a day.
- Make myself a healthy salad for lunch. I always add cooked vegetables to a mixed green salad, protein, rice and salad dressing. For dessert I have fruit.
- Buy myself a small gift.
- Take a leisurely walk with a good friend along the Princeton Canal. Make sure we laugh a lot.
- Meet friends for dinner.
- Take a nice long bubble bath.
- Read a book and go to sleep early.
Doesn’t that sound like a special day? No DRAMA and being kind to myself all day long.
Please share your dream day with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. Together let’s create “BE Kind to You Day.” Looking forward to hearing about your special day.
Helen
Written on May 12th, 2011 by Virginia Ramirezno comments
Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen
What three things do you
want to accomplish this year?
Write them down and place them
on your refrigerator
for inspiration all year long.
~ Anonymous
I was flipping thru inspirational quotes to find the right one for today’s message. When I came across the quote above, it made me think about what three things I wanted to accomplish in 2011.
The last 3 ½ months have flown by quickly. My biggest accomplishment was writing and having a book published. This was a longtime dream that after many attempts finally became a reality. The name of the book is Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen.
After celebrating the publication of the book, I kept thinking “What is next?”
With time on my hands, I decided to think about the next three things I wanted to accomplish in the remaining 7 ½ months of 2011. Below is the exercise that helped me discover my next three goals for 2011.
- Close your eyes and ground yourself by taking five deep breaths and releasing them. When taking the breaths let the warm sunshine fill your body. While releasing the breaths let go of your negative feelings and thoughts.
- Picture yourself just relaxing in your favorite spot. Mine is sitting under a big tree feeling warm and cozy with a blanket wrapped around me.
- Think about three things you would like to accomplish by the end of 2011. They are only ideas and nothing is written in stone. My ideas were:
- Celebrate with family and friends the publication of my book by having a big party and inviting everyone I know.
- Facilitate a seminar, “Skyrocket Your Business in 30 Days – While Having Coffee with Helen” in different coffee shops.
- Get ready to move to the NJ Shore area.
- Let all the thoughts and ideas disappear into the Universe.
- At the count of 5 open your eyes and sit quietly for a few minutes.
- When ready write down all your ideas.
- Chose which three goals you would like to accomplish by the end of 2011. The three goals I chose are listed in step 3.
Now it is Your Turn:
Complete the exercise above to determine what three things you want to accomplish by the end of 2011. Once you have determined which goals you would like to accomplish, “Write them down and place them on your refrigerator for inspiration all year long.” Also, feel free to share your three goals for 2011 in the comment section of this blog. Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community know what three things you would like to accomplish. We are all here to support each other.
Helen
“If you can’t feed a hundred people,
then just feed one.”
~ Mother Teresa
As business owners we want to help as many people as we can. Who would like to coach 100 one-on-one clients each day and support them in living the life of their dreams? Sorry to say since we only have 24 hours in a day, that is unrealistic.
As Mother Teresa says, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” Building a coaching business takes one client at a time.
At first it was very hard to enroll clients so I became creative and bartered my services. My first client cooked me roasted vegetables and I coached her for 30 minutes. Then another client hired me and I charged her $60 a month. As time went on my practice started to grow and gradually I increased my rates. Today, incorporating many other services into my business, I feel very successful.
How successful you feel is the key to your well-being. It doesn’t matter if you have only one client or 20. The secret is what you are telling yourself.
You’ll automatically feel successful by shifting your thinking and focusing on the accomplishments your clients are achieving.
Below are a few steps you can take to remind yourself of your success:
- After each coaching session with a client write yourself a short note acknowledging your coaching skills.
- Before closing down for the night, read each accomplishment out loud.
- Continue this practice for a week.
Feeling you are providing special gifts to your clients will reinforce your love for coaching and you will feel very successful.
Please share your success stories with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community.
“We have a mental block inside us
that stops us from earning more
than we think we are worth.
If we want to earn more in reality,
we have to upgrade our self-concept.”
~ Brian Tracy
After reading Brian Tracy’s quote what were you thinking? Do the following thoughts sound familiar?
- Is this the reason I am not making money?
- How do I change my thinking?
- I knew all along it was my thinking that was stopping me.
The thoughts can go on and on.
Okay, let’s take a step back and see what is really happening here. Most of us are always looking for a solution to a problem. Wouldn’t it be easy to change our thinking and our problems would disappear?
What I am learning is that sometimes I am my own worst enemy. My thoughts start telling me all crazy ideas. When this happens I take a deep breath, picture a STOP sign and tell myself “I am worthy of being paid for my services because I am a great coach.”
Brian Tracy’s quote sounds so simple and at the same time upgrading our self-concept can be a very difficult task. How do you go about it?
Helen’s mind is at work… Below is a simple plan you can follow:
- Go into a room with a mirror and close the door.
- Take a deep breath and look into the mirror.
- Say the following words out loud:
- “I am a special person.”
- “I am providing a service.”
- Repeat these two sentences three times. The first time with your eyes closed, second time looking at your nose and the last time look into your eyes. As you continue this exercise it will get easier.
- Repeat this exercise for a week and then only look in your eyes while saying the two sentences out loud.
After a month of reassuring yourself that you are a special person and providing a service, your attitude will change.
While practicing this exercise please stay in touch with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. We are in this together and by supporting each other things will change.
Keep in touch!
Helen
Letting the world know about “You” can be very frightening
“Get all the education you can,
but then, by God, do something.
Don’t just stand there;
make it happen.”
~ Lee Iococca
Reading Lee Iococca’s quote reminded me of when I first graduated from iPEC Coaching School and kept signing up for more trainings. I kept thinking I was not ready to go out there and coach. What if I did not ask the right questions, gave too much advice? The list goes on and on.
One day during a coaching session, my coach said in a very strong voice, “It is enough with the different trainings, just go out there and coach.” I became very defensive and explained why I needed more trainings. She did not want to continue the conversation and asked, “What were my next steps for marketing my coaching practice?” It was the greatest gift anyone ever gave me.
Once I started coaching clients my confidence grew and eventually I knew in my heart that I was a great coach. Taking that first step and letting the world know about “You” can be very frightening.
Let’s take a deep breath and take that leap! We are all in this together.
Some simple small steps you can take to overcome your FEAR. By the way, fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Meditate for a few moments and think about one step you have been putting off over and over again. Example: Presenting a Workshop.
- Sit there and let all your fears surface.
- Think about the fear that constantly pops up all the time. Example: I am afraid no one will sign-up for the workshop.
- Take a deep breath and take in sunshine.
- Let your breath out and let all the fears go.
- When you feel comfortable open your eyes.
- Write in your journal about your constant fear and solutions to the dilemma. Example: No one will sign-up for the workshop. One of the solutions that surfaced was to have the workshop in my home and invite friends and family.
This solution is not a cop-out! It could be a way of practicing and getting feedback so your next workshop will be easier.
- Create plans, send invitations and enjoy the process.
Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community know about your project and how we can support you. We are all in this together.
“If your ship
doesn’t come in,
swim out to it.”
Anonymous
Speaking to my coach this morning, I was telling her that I am tired of fighting every day. When the words came out of my mouth, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Have I lost sight of my mission, “Supporting coaches so they can feel confident and build prosperous businesses.”? What was happening?
We discussed my dilemma and the underlining cause was that I had lost sight of my mission. Once I started talking about my mission, the fire within me started burning and I felt alive again. Ideas started popping into my head.
As the quote states, if things are not happening you have to look for opportunities!
Now It Is Your Turn to try the exercise below:
- Take a few moments and think about your day and what feelings materialize. Are you feeling weary or excited?
- Write what you are thinking about. Just let the thoughts flow and don’t judge them.
- Read what you wrote and notice what jumps out at you. Are you acknowledging yourself, losing sight of your passion, etc…
- What small shift would reignite your fire?
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community what small changes you are going to make. Together we will support each other in reigniting the fire within us.
Yesterday, out of the clear blue sky, I started thinking about my business and what a struggle it has been thru the years to enroll clients.
My thoughts turned to should I continue or start pursuing other options. This thought gave me chills. Making myself sit with these feelings was not an easy task. I wanted to go for coffee, take a walk or read a book.
I sat in the chair knowing the answer was not to run away. After a few minutes my thoughts turned to what I have accomplished in the last eight years. Love Yourself Coaching offers three different Coaches’ Coaching Circles, the Monday Wake-Up Calls and individual coaching. These programs provide support to coaches and entrepreneurs. All of a sudden, I started feeling excited about my business and how I was helping others succeed.
The key is to feel your feelings. During that process you will find new solutions or remind yourself of your accomplishments
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community what your fears are and together we will support each other.
“Be like a postage stamp –
stick to one thing till you get there.
Sheila Graham
Do you wake-up in the morning with the idea you are going to accomplish certain tasks? Then as the day proceeds you never take action towards any of these projects.
Welcome to the world of the entrepreneur!
This morning getting out of bed, I started thinking about my to-do list. My day started walking with my neighbor, straightening the house, answering emails, coaching clients and all of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was noon. To my utter surprise I did not start any of the projects that were on my to-do list. This pattern happens a lot.
What is a person to do?
Thinking about this challenge, all of a sudden the “Smart Goal” Model popped into my head. Below is the model:
S = Be very specific
Example: My goals were write an article, research different writing groups, coach clients, food shop, take time to just relax and the list goes on and on.
M = Measure your progress
Example: My measurement would be completion of the different projects.
A = Achievable
Example: This plan was not achievable, no way could I accomplish everything in one day.
R = Reasonable
Example: Since all the items were not easily accomplished in one day, I would create a realistic
plan. This plan would be produced by reviewing my goals and choosing which items could be accomplished in a reasonable amount of time.
T = Time Table
Example: Today’s Schedule:
1:00pm – Write Article
3:00pm – Food Shop
4:00pm – Spent time with Jeffrey, my grandson relaxing
6:00pm – Coach last client for the day.
Tomorrow:
8:00am – Research writing groups
10:00am – Create a new plan
This arrangement sounded realistic.
Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your challenges about creating a reasonable daily plan. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Helen
Filed under Business Tips, Coaches, Life Issues
Tags:Achieving Goals, Coaches, Coaching, feeling empowered, love yourself, Mini-Vacation, positive thinking, professional, responsibility, self-confidence, SMART Goals, struggles
Last month I celebrated my birthday. As the day was approaching this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach got stronger. I started thinking what did I accomplish this past year? Of course my inner dialogue shouted, “NOTHING!!”
After struggling with this negative thought process for a few days, I decide to call a friend. To my good fortune she picked up the phone. After relaying my story, she started to laugh and asked who I was talking about. The Helen she knew was a beautiful giving person and successful business owner.
As we continued speaking, I started coming out of my funk, admitted the great things I accomplished and the amazing life changes my clients achieved.
Sometimes all we need is a good friend who listens and is supportive. Eventually we will put our Gremlins to sleep and bask in our greatness.
When you are having one of those days feeling your business will never flourish. Pick up the phone and call a caring friend or leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog.
My commitment is that I will get back to you and support you in finding your true greatness.
Enjoy your greatness!
Helen
P.S. I had a beautiful birthday.
‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you sometimes think, “Other people’s lives are better than mine.” You are not alone! Things happen in our lives and sometimes the circumstances or people lower our self-esteem. I am finding thru life experiences, learning from different teachers, only I have the choice to make myself feel inferior. Eleanor Roosevelt put it so eloquently in the quote above.
Let me tell you a little story, Carole (name changed) was trying every diet imaginable and was still not losing weight. She felt so frustrated and kept thinking, “Jan, my sister, was so lucky because she could lose weight and keep it off.” To make matters worse everytime she looked in the mirror or had a conversation with her sister about losing weight Carole’s self-esteem plunged lower.
Let’s turn this picture around and see what Carole could have done to build her self-esteem instead of letting people or circumstances make her feel inferior. Following are some small steps Carole could put into practice that will help build her esteem:
1. Acknowledge herself every day by keeping a list of her accomplishments.
2. Tell herself daily what she likes about herself.
3. Eating a healthy meal at least once a day and writing about how she feels.
4. Compliment others for their special gifts.
5. Receive compliments graciously and thank the person.
6. Focus on what she has instead of what she doesn’t have.
7. Read or listen to motivational tapes. (i.e. “Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting” by Lynn Grabhorn.)
8. Do something nice for herself every day.
9. Do something nice for someone else without being found out.
10. Call a good friend and have a good laugh.
What other small steps do you take to build your self-esteem?
I would love for you to join me in writing “Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog, by sharing your wisdom, successes and lessons learned. All it takes is one little step, leave a comment or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoachikng.net.
A special note to anyone who is struggling with food, please leave a comment and I will address your concerns in this blog. Together we will create a plan that will enable you to live a life filled with joy, self-confidence and love.
What are you doing nice for yourself today?
Helen
JEFFREY’S GOD STORY
By Helen J. Burton
Jeffrey, my 6 year old grandson, couldn’t find his DS Gameboy (DS). He and his parents for days searched the house, car and any place they could think of where the DS could possibly be located. No luck! After the second day, Jeffrey became very upset and started to cry because his mother would not buy him another DS. Mindi my daughter suggested that he ask G-d for help because sometimes after praying he could receive an answer of where the DS was located. So Jeffrey tried this new idea and went into his bedroom to ask G-d for help. After awhile he came out and told his mother that he did not get any answers. They then had a discussion about how sometimes it takes time before receiving any answers. He then watched television for awhile and went to bed.
While Mindi was on the computer checking her emails, she received an email from the babysitter with pictures she took while watching Jeffrey on Saturday. In one of the pictures was a picture of Jeffrey holding his DS. Mindi emailed the sitter and asked if she knew were the DS was located. The sitter sent back an email saying the DS was in the garage. She checked and sure enough the DS was there. The next morning when Jeffrey came down for breakfast sitting on the kitchen table was his DS. Mindi, told him what happened and Jeffrey said, “See how G-d helped me find my DS.”
After hearing this encouraging story, it makes me stop and think about all the miracles
G-d has given me and how I simply take them for granted. Some of the miracles I have received from G-d are as follows:
· Having a loving relationship with my husband, family and friends.
· Watched my granddaughter play the flute last night in the School’s Spring Concert. There were 7 family members watching her.
· Having an opportunity tomorrow to attend the play, Bill Wilson and Dr Bob Story” in New York City with 40 other people.
· Watching the trees and flowers start to blossom.
· Blogging and connecting with others.
What revelations did you get out of reading Jeffrey’s God story, I would love to know.
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