Entrepreneur’s Secret for Accomplishing Goals

“Be like a postage stamp –
stick to one thing till you get there.
Sheila Graham

Do you wake-up in the morning with the idea you are going to accomplish certain tasks?  Then as the day proceeds you never take action towards any of these projects.

Welcome to the world of the entrepreneur!

This morning getting out of bed, I started thinking about my to-do list.  My day started walking with my neighbor, straightening the house, answering emails, coaching clients and all of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was noon.  To my utter surprise I did not start any of the projects that were on my to-do list.  This pattern happens a lot.

What is a person to do?

Thinking about this challenge, all of a sudden the “Smart Goal” Model popped into my head.  Below is the model:

S = Be very specific
Example: My goals were write an article, research different writing groups, coach clients, food shop, take time to just relax and the list goes on and on. 
M = Measure your progress
Example: My measurement would be completion of the different projects. 
A = Achievable
Example: This plan was not achievable, no way could I accomplish everything in one day.
R = Reasonable
Example: Since all the items were not easily accomplished in one day, I would create a realistic
plan. This plan would be produced by reviewing my goals and choosing which items could be accomplished in a reasonable amount of time.
T = Time Table
Example: Today’s Schedule:
1:00pm – Write Article
3:00pm – Food Shop
4:00pm – Spent time with Jeffrey, my grandson relaxing
6:00pm – Coach last client for the day.

Tomorrow:
8:00am – Research writing groups
10:00am – Create a new plan

 This arrangement sounded realistic.    

Please share with the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community your challenges about creating a reasonable daily plan.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

 Helen

Changing Attitudes

Everyone Has Many Special Gifts

Are you thinking I wish my life was easier, can’t lose weight or want a new job? Welcome to the human race. Most of us go through our day doing the things we have to do and wishing for our lives to be better. We never take the time to acknowledge the special gifts we already have in our lives.

What comes to mind is how Dorothy’s friends in the Wizard of Oz spent most of their time looking for the Wizard to give them what they wanted. The Lion was looking for courage, Tin Man for a heart and Scarecrow for brains. After meeting the Wizard and seeing what a fraud he was each one realized they already had the gift they were looking for.

We are no different than Dorothy’s friends. Most of the time we are looking for something we already have. Let me give you an example: Jane just moved into a new neighborhood, was feeling very lonely and felt she had no friends. What Jane did not realize was that she already knew many people. During Jane’s coaching session she decided to play a game that night at her office party and count the number of people she spoke to. Jane was amazed when she realized she knew and spoke to over 10 people that night. Her next plan was to invite some of her peer co-workers to coffee after work.

If Jane did not play that game she would be still looking to meet people instead of realizing she had already met them.

Now is your turn to play a little game which will prove you already have what you are looking for.

Create a game to determine whether you already have your special gift.
1. At the top of the page write what you want.
a. Example: My job is boring and I want a new job.
2. Draw a line down the center of the page.
3. List in the first column everything you would like in a new job.
3. List in the second column everything you like about your current job.
4. Compare both lists and see what items appear on both of them.
5. Journal what you have discovered.

Most of the time you will realize there are many things you like about your current job.

After completing the exercise please let me know what you have discovered. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

You Are Important

CHOICES WE MAKE

We have a choice either we can think about what is going wrong in our lives or think about what is going right in our lives. I have found that most of the times our minds make the choice for us. This morning as I was waking up my mind started thinking about an upsetting situation which made me feel bad and took all my energy. After thinking about it for awhile I realized either I could role play this situation in my head or think about something that puts a smile on my face. Making the choice to change my thinking took awhile and slowly my thoughts started to change.

Why do we automatically start thinking about upsetting thoughts instead of happy ones? Thinking about this for awhile I came up with the following ideas:

Benefits of Thinking Upsetting Thoughts
1. Familiar feeling.
2. Not having control over the outcome of the situation we start thinking of ways in which we are the controllers.
3. Feels good to feel sorry for ourselves.
4. Gives us an excuse to procrastinate.
5. Looking for sympathy from others.

Benefits of Thinking Happy Thoughts
1. Makes us feel good and gives us plenty of energy.
2. Motivates us.
3. Puts a smile on our face.
4. Self-confidence and we feel proud.
5. Creates commitment

We have a choice either we can walk around feeling good or trying to think of ways to change a situation that has already happened. For today which choice do you make? I know that thinking happy thoughts will give me more energy, motivation and put a smile on my face. The next question how do you change those thoughts. Following are some ideas:
1. Acknowledge the thought and when the thought stops start thinking about something that made you happy.
2. While thinking the unhappy thought give yourself a big hug and say out loud, “I feel sorry for you and I love you.” Giving ourselves sympathy sometimes makes us feel better.
3. Journal about the situation and think of ways you can let go of the negative thoughts.
4. Put a smile on your face while you are thinking and usually the negative thought will disappear.
5. For today, don’t talk about your unhappy thoughts only what makes you happy.

Have a beautiful day and make a choice to think happy thoughts.

Food Struggles

Tips for Healthy Eating Eating During The Holiday Season

Do you tell yourself, “I am not going to diet this holiday season and enjoy myself?” You are into the food and as time goes on the guilt starts to fade away. Then you realize your sister’s party is in a couple of days, start trying on clothes and nothing fits. You rush to the store with tears in your eyes to buy a new outfit. Does this story sound familiar?

Let’s take a step back and see what you could do differently starting today. You still have time to change your behaviors it is only December 13, 2007 and there are 18 days before New Years Eve. Following are some steps you can take to help you feel good about yourself before the holiday season is over:

1. Plan a healthy eating menu for the rest of today and make no substitutions.
2. Plan your day’s healthy eating menu before eating breakfast. Remember no substitutions.
3. Buy yourself a new comfortable outfit that makes you feel good.
4. Everyday take time for You and do something you enjoy. Examples: quilting, putting music on and dancing around the house or just sitting in a chair and relaxing.
5. Make some childhood holiday decorations.
6. Plan something special with either your friends or family members. Examples: see a fun movie, go ice skating, take a drive around the neighborhood looking at the decorations.
7. Donate a gift to one of your local charities.
8. Buy yourself a special holiday present.
9. Make a grateful list and read it everyday.
10.Look in the mirror everyday and say, “Thank you.”

As always I would love to hear from you. Please let me know what other steps you are taking to make this holiday season different and enjoyable. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Food Choices

CHANGE

Change can cause such unhappiness in our lives. Most people want to change something in their lives and when the opportunity presents itself to make this change they become upset and unhappy. What happens is our routine is altered.

I was on vacation in Las Vegas last week and experienced a change in my food plan. For the past nine years I have been basically eating the same foods with very little change. The first night we went out for dinner and to my surprise there was nothing on the menu I could eat. After talking to the server I was shocked to hear there were no salads or vegetable platters. Not planning ahead I panicked and wanted to leave the restaurant. My husband in a calm manner asked the server if there were any meals with a lot of vegetables and chicken. Her reply was she would have something made for me. I felt better and thanked my husband. When our meals arrived I was shocked to see two big pieces of lettuce and chicken. We both started to laugh. I ate what was in front of me and assured myself I would not die because I did not have enough food.

The next morning I woke-up in a state of panic and wanted to go home. I called one of my friends and after talking about the situation she simply said go to buffets and that way you can get what you want. We started to go to buffets and I was able to get the foods I wanted, felt confident and enjoyed Las Vegas. I learned an important lesson plan ahead and ask for help. Others have suggestions we never think of in time of stress.

Please let me know about your experiences regarding changes in your life. What tools did you use to comfort yourself? Let’s build a list of tools we can all use to share with others. Please leave your comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Handling Food on Thanksgiving

On Thursday we will be celebrating Thanksgiving in the United States. It is a time to get together with family and friends. The food is on everyone’s mind. Some of us have thoughts of how can I not eat the fattening food, others are thinking I feel so fat and don’t want everyone to see me like this. Holidays always brings up feelings that are sometimes buried.

Let’s play a little game and make this year different. We have a choice either we can make ourselves sick about going to the Thanksgiving get together or have a good time. We can eat everything in site and then complain about feeling stuffed or we can create an action plan before we go to the party.

Following are some small steps you can take to end the cycle of compulsive overeating at parties. For the past nine years I have been taking the following steps:

1. Never go to a party hungry.
2. Take a bottle of water when you get to the party and drink it before eating.
3. Create a grateful list by asking others what they are grateful for.
4. Talk to at least three people before eating.
5. Don’t sit near the food.
6. Take only a small amount of the different types of food with plenty of salad.
7. Have fruit for desert.
8. Never go back for seconds.
9. After you finish eating take another bottle of water.
10.Walk around and talk to everyone.
11.Don’t stay late.
12. At home do something nice for yourself.

This Thansgving try some of these ideas and let me know what happens.

I would love for you to join me in writing “Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog, by sharing your special gifts with the world. All it takes is one little step, leave a comment expressing your ideas and experiences.

A special note to anyone who is struggling with food, please leave a comment and I will address you concerns in my blog. Together we will create a plan that will enable you to live a vibrant life.

I will be on vacation for a week and wish you all a Happy and Fun Thanksgiving.

What are you doing nice for yourself today?

Helen

Changing Eating Behaviors

The First Step You Take
Is Always
The Most Important One

“The first few steps you take on any journey
won’t get you where you want to go.
But without those first steps
and the many more that follow,
you would always be standing
right where you are,
looking towards the future
and wondering what it would
really be like
to see your world
the way you always dreamed it could be.”
Nick Santana

Interesting quote. It makes me thing about how a baby gets up and tries to take that first step. Sometimes they fall down and other times they take a few steps and then fall down. They keep trying until finally they can walk across the room. I remember my daughter Jill’s first steps and the smile on her face when she was able to walk across the room.

I am thinking we never lose that ability to keep trying until we succeed, it only gets buried under our ego, thoughts and fears. How can we awaken the desire to continue taking those first steps?

What usually works is a desire to make a change. Let’s take for instance you want to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. Your ego and thoughts want to protect you from failure so they tell you, “It is impossible to lose 20 pounds by Christmas, so why even try and look at all the fun you will miss by not eating your mother’s Christmas cookies.” Listening to your ego and thoughts you decide not to go on a diet until after New Years.

Let’s change the situation. Your ego and thoughts still tell you the same story, however, you want to lose some weight before Christmas. Your first step is to read the “Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog and find some tools you can use to change your behavior. You re-read the November 7, 2007 article and like some of the steps that were suggested. Making a decision you are going to try the following two steps:

1. STOP dieting and eat one healthy meal a day.
2. Look in the mirror every morning and tell myself out loud, “I love you.” At first it may be hard and as time goes on it gets easier.

By taking any small steps it will renew the same ability you had as a baby to keep striving until you reach your goal. It does not matter if you fail only whether you continue taking the steps until your new behavior becomes a habit. As Nick Santana states in his quote, the first steps are the most important because it starts you on your journey of taking the required steps to see your dream come true.

I invite you to start taking one to two small steps and continue taking them everyday until they become a habit before changing your plan or adding additional steps. It has been proven that it takes 21 days to change a habit. Please let me know how you are progressing and if you need any support. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

What To Do When That Food Craving Strikes

“Much of the satisfying work of life
begins as an experiment;
no experiment is ever
quite a failure.”
Alice Walker

You were following a diet, feeling good about yourself and then suddenly you find yourself eating again. What happened?? A number of situations could have triggered you to give in and go back to your old habits. Please, please do not beat yourself up this is an everyday occurrence among those in the world of dieting. There is a solution.

I remember the time I was on a roll and following a diet for almost two months. The weight was coming off and I was thinking and talking about food all the time. The only problem was I was starving all the time. One day after leaving the diet doctor’s office, I was walking past a bakery and saw all the beautiful cakes, breads and cookies. My mind said, “You are doing such a great job of dieting you can buy only one cookie it can’t hurt. My thoughts had a good time arguing and before I knew it, I was in the bakery ordering a cup of coffee and a dozen cookies. I was too embarrassed to buy only one cook so I bought a dozen with the idea I would bring them home for my husband and daughters. Guess what? The cookies never made it home. The only thing that arrived home was my anger at myself for eating the cookies.

Does this situation sound familiar? Let’s look at what you and I could have done differently in this situation. Acknowledge the thought that you do deserve to treat yourself for all your hard work. Say out loud, “I will eat something later and right now I will go to a bookstore (or something you enjoy doing.) The idea is not to make food an option and find other activities that make you happy. The most important thing is to start that activity right away instead of waiting for later. By enjoying the activity you will forget about the food for the moment.

Following are a list of ideas you could try instead of eating something:

1. Call yourself and leave a message bragging about how you did not buy something to eat and how much weight you have lost.
2. Have your nails done or get a pedicure.
3. Take a long walk and think about the things in your life that you are grateful for.
4. Call a friend and see if they want to meet for coffee in about 10 minutes.
5. Walking down the street make up positive stories about the people you are passing. I love doing this it puts a smile on my face.

Send me an e-mail bragging about the different steps you are taking and what is happening. I love hearing your successes and celebrating with you! I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net

If you are struggling with food and have questions please send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net or leave a comment on the blog and I will address it in my next article.

Do something nice for yourself today!

Helen

The Interview with God

I received an email with a link to watch a video clip with an Interview with God. It was so beautiful and meaningful I wanted to post the link on my blog so others could enjoy the video clip. The link is www.theinterviewwithgod.com and then click on “view presentation.”

Please let me know what thoughts you had while listening to the short clip by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. Enjoy!

Struggling with Food

Look on the Bright Side

‘For every negative that consumes your happiness,
Affirm two positives that sustain you.

Never stop looking
For the brighter side and beyond.’
Eric T. Moore

Change how you think about things creates miracles in your life. The quote above sums it all up. Instead of focusing on not being able to lose weight think about what you are doing to make your life better. This may seem like an impossible task. Let’s break it down into small steps.

The small steps you can take as suggested in the quote above:

For every negative that consumes your happiness,
Affirm two positives that sustain you
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for not being able to lose weight. Then think about 2 funny situations.

For every “Should’ve” you wish you’d done,
Acknowledge something you’re glad you did.
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for have eaten junk food instead of a healthy meal. Then think about what made you happy yesterday. Eat healthy at your next meal.

For every loss that has altered your world,
Count from it something you have gained.
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for the weight gain. Then think about what you like about yourself..

For every limit that has ever beset you,
Consider your possibilities.
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for not having the willpower to lose weight. Then think about the professional support available to help you lose weight.

You can’t always change the way things are,
But you can change the way you wish to see them.
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for not being able to lose 10, 20, 50 pounds today. Then think about how you can reach out for support. Leave a comment on the blog or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Never stop looking
For the brighter side and beyond.
Small Step:
Acknowledge yourself for who you are! Remember there is always a solution for every problem. The first step is to reach out for support.

Take any or all of the small steps above and send me an email about your experience letting me know if I can support you in anyway. I love hearing from you and by leaving a comment on this blog we can start a support community for people struggling with food. I can be reached by leaving a comment below or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

What are you going to do nice for yourself today?

Helen

Being Your Own Best Friend

“If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself but to
your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius

When I read the above quote, the thought that popped into my mind was how as a child I always felt fat, but when seeing the pictures today I look thin. Our perception of ourselves causes us more pain than we should experience.

I was with a group of people the other day and we were discussing how important it was to be our own best friend instead of our enemy. Someone was mentioning how easy it was to beat themselves up and then feel sorry for themselves. I am sure we can all identify with this situation.

Everyone started discussing what they don’t like about themselves. After giving them time to enjoy the conversations I asked what we can do about the problem of not supporting ourselves? The conversation turned around and we all came up with solutions. Some of the solutions are as follows:

1. Every time you have a destructive thought to stop acknowledge it and then say out loud something you like about yourself.
2. Once a day give yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself and then think about how grateful you are for your life now.
3. Every night make a list of at least three things you like about yourself.
4. Every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you.”
5. Once a week call a friend and tell each other one thing you like about each other.
6. Every day take time out to do something nice for yourself. (Example:
take a long leisurely bath.)
7. Once a week don’t exercise and congratulate yourself for taking the day off.
8. Once a month buy yourself flowers.
9. Once every few months send yourself a letter listing the reasons why you love the person you have become.
10. At the end of the day write in your journal how liking yourself is making a difference in your life.

I invite you to try some of the above suggestions and let me know about the difference they are making in your life. Also, I would love to hear about the tools you use to guarantee you are your own best friend. After trying some of the suggestions above please leave your experiences and techniques you use on this blog, or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Do something nice for yourself today! Helen

Support for Food Struggles

Life is an adventure,
look for golden opportunities
as you open the shade
and look out the window.

Helen Burton, Coach

Do you ever feel alone in your struggle with food? Research has proven that in order to lose weight and keep it off you cannot do it alone. The answer to this battle is “Support.”

Support means encouragement, assistance and others being there for you. There are many different ways you can find the support you need. Some of them are as follows:

Family and Friends:
• Requesting they support you by not eating certain foods in front of you that will trigger your wanting to eat them.
• Requesting they respect your new way of taking care of yourself.
• Acknowledging each other for your accomplishments.

Professionals
• Nutritionist
• Coaches
• Therapists
• Exercise Trainers

Overeaters Anonymous
• Group setting of individuals who are sharing their experiences and strengths while recovering from compulsive overeating.

Professional Organizations
• Diet Clubs
o Support groups with a facilitator, weigh-ins, eating and exercise programs and products.
o Counseling, prepared foods, exercise programs and products
o Gyms

The most important support you can receive is from yourself. Some of the small steps you can take are as follows:

• Acknowledging yourself for the beautiful person YOU are.
• Eating one healthy meal at a time.
• Taking a mini-vacation everyday. Taking at least 10 minutes a day to do something you enjoy. Example: Making a cup of tea and listening to your favorite music while you are relaxing.
• Reaching out to others for support.

As you can see there are many different ways you can receive support while on your journey of losing weight. Please let us know the different support opportunities you have taken advantage of that are helping you live a healthy lifestyle. Also, I can help you find the perfect support opportunity that will work best for you. You can contact me by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Blaming Our Circumstances

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don’t believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world
are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want,
and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
George Bernard Shaw

Do you sometimes think, everything was going along fine and then all of a sudden everything changes in a matter of seconds? Welcome to life!!

We are so quick to blame our circumstances for our misfortunes. I remember saying I binged last night because my husband was on a business trip and I was lonely. Another night I might have thought it is quite in the house, I can get in bed and read a good book. It all depends on your thoughts and in this case have nothing to do with circumstances.

Jack, name changed, was at least 100 pounds overweight and felt because the members of his family were all obese he could never be thin. He tried all different diets and after awhile just gave up. Jack’s doctor suggested he call me.

While I was working with Jack he started acknowledging all the things in his life he was proud of and realized he had special gifts his family members did not possess. This realization made him stop and think about his theory, because the members of his family had a weight problem meant he would always be struggling with his weight.

Once Jack understood he had his own journey to travel and not his families, he started looking at life from a different perspective. He took George Bernard Shaw’s advice and created the circumstances he wanted and was able to lose weight. Today Jack has been maintaining his goal weight and manages a local sports gym.

What challenge have you been blaming on circumstances? I invite you to explore the situation and see if there is another way of looking at it. Please let me know about your experience. I can be reached either by leaving a comment on this Getting Off the Diet Merry-Go-Round Blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Struggling With Food

You Are the Important One
‘This life is yours
Take the power
to choose what you want to do
and do it well
Take the power
to love what you want in life
and love it honestly
Take the power
to walk in the forest
and be a part of nature
Take the power
to control your own life
No one else can do it for you
Take the power
to make your life happy’.

Susan Polis Schutz

Do you ever feel you don’t have control over your life? You are not alone. There is a solution. All you have to do is decide enough is enough and start taking the little steps to take care of yourself. It is easier said than done.

Why is it that we always put ourselves last? I remember when my children were very young I would continually buy them expensive clothes which they out grew in a few months. Since I spent most of the extra money on them I did not buy myself any new clothes for years. Who was the loser in this situation? ME

I continued to put myself last for many years until one day I realized this is not working and I had to change my thinking and behavior. As luck would have it, I went to a training which taught me how to take care of myself. The most important phrase I learned at the training was “I am Important.” To this day I have a sign on my bathroom mirror which reads, “You are Important” and read it everytime I look in the mirror.

Today I take the following steps to make sure I continue to take care of myself on a daily basis:
1. Thank myself for being who I am.
2. Eat healthy and never take that extra bite.
3. Say I love you to my family members and friends.
4. Take my min-vacation everyday, by doing something nice for myself.
5. Relax at the end of the day by getting into bed with a good book before I go to sleep.

As always, I would love to hear what steps you are taking to take care of yourself? Remember as a team we can support each other in taking the small steps to stop using food to make us feel better and start treating ourselves with respect.

I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I am looking forward to hearing from you and building a community to support each other on our journey.

What are You doing nice for yourself today?
Helen

Different Perspectives on Situations

I received the story below as an email this morning and felt you would enjoy reading it.

The Difference Between Rich/Poor People

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the
trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son.

“So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered:

“I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a
creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond
our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to
protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen
if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what
we don’t have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help them refresh their
perspective and appreciation.

“Life is too short and friends are too few.”

I would love to hear your thoughts on the story above. You can leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net